


Not A "Knife" Feeling

by TheRegularWriter



Series: Do I Know Who Papyrus Is? [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Asgore Needs a Hug, Big Brother Sans, Brotherly Bonding, Depression, Emotional Manipulation, Everyone Has Issues, Flashbacks, Fluff, Foreshadowing, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, HERE COMES THE PAIN TRAAAIN, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Knives, Milkaholic Papyrus, Mood Swings, Nightmares, Non-Binary Frisk, On Hiatus, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Papyrus Has Issues, Papyrus Knows More Than He Lets On, Papyrus Needs A Hug, Papyrus Remembers Resets, Papyrus-centric, Past Character Death, Platonic Relationships, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, References to Undertale Genocide Route, Sad Papyrus, Sans Doesn't Remember Resets, Sans Needs A Hug, Sans Swearing, Science, Self-Esteem Issues, Sleep Deprivation, Spoilers - Undertale Genocide Route, Suffering, Suicidal Themes, Tags May Change, The Author Regrets Nothing, Timelines, Trauma, Triggers, Undertale Saves and Resets, Undertale Spoilers, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, With the special participation of a parody of Morgan Freeman, Yes you read that right, Younger Brother Papyrus, be prepared HAHAHAHAHAHA
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2018-09-14 18:22:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 52,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9197768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRegularWriter/pseuds/TheRegularWriter
Summary: Papyrus has never realized how afraid he is of knives... especially when someone in particular is holding one.[The story has not been abandoned! I will make sure to update it as soon as I can.]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first Papyrus-centric work! I hope this is good enough, because writing fics like these are kind of challenging in my opinion, at least considering that it's Papyrus... I hate to hurt the cinnamon roll (and he's my favorite character, for that matter) ;-; I hope I kept him in character!
> 
> Like always, I apologize for any mistakes in the writing.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

Cooking together had to be one of Papyrus's favorite activities. Why wouldn't it be fun, he asked himself? And when it was to surprise people he cared about, the amount of fun he had was bigger.

Papyrus had been improving quite fast. His food was gaining many compliments from his friends and his brother, which was a great thing. The passionate looks on their faces when they tasted his spaghetti was simply the best! He was already proud of himself, but he came to be even more. And in that day, Frisk was attending to their first cooking lesson with him.

Papyrus had been convinced by them to make another type of pasta - lasagna... the one type of pasta that had been eaten by that stupid dog one day. Papyrus had promised he would never cook it again, but eventually, he decided to do it for his friends and Sans. If his spaghetti was already delicious, imagine the lasagna, then...! That thought was the reason why he agreed on doing this, honestly.

Frisk and Papyrus were doing everything right. The skeleton had to admit that Frisk was already great at cooking, even if they had only started attending to cooking lessons recently. Sans, Toriel, Undyne and Alphys, who weren't home at that time, would be very proud of them both!

"YOU'RE ALREADY DOING GREAT, FRISK!" Papyrus complimented the small human, who gave him a smile in return. "MAYBE SOMEDAY WE CAN WORK AT A RESTAURANT TOGETHER!"

Frisk nodded in agreement. Finally, Papyrus got the tomatoes in order to make the sauce. While he had learned with Undyne that smashing the vegetables would be better, he had discovered afterwards that all he had to do was to cut the tomatoes and put them in a blender. It did taste better than smashing them... Papyrus had never been fond of doing that to the poor vegetables anyway. They didn't deserve such treatment! They were quite important for food, after all.

"NOW, FOR THE SAUCE," Papyrus claimed. "WE MUST CUT THE TOMATOES!"

Frisk nodded. "I'll get the knife!"

The child's footsteps distanced a little and Papyrus heard the noise of the drawer and the silverware. His eyes widened when he realized that a child would be holding the knife and he turned around.

"BE CAREFUL WITH THE KNIFE-!"

Once Frisk faced him, he... he froze where he stood.

And... suddenly, everything became... different.

Papyrus suddenly realized that... He wasn't in the kitchen anymore. He... He was back at... Snowdin. He could see the snow falling on the ground, the haze almost hiding the tall, green pinetrees that were slightly covered by the snow.

Frisk was right ahead. They approached in a way that... didn't make Papyrus feel comfortable at all. In a way that genuinely... _scared_ him. The human's eyes were covered by their bangs, their usual smile was replaced by a frown that truly... showed hatred for Papyrus.

The knife they held in their right hand... its pointy part was aiming at _him_.

Frisk's footsteps on the snow became louder as they approached him.

Papyrus realized he... he was shaking. Shaking out of **fear**.

Why was he scared of Frisk? They were one of his best friends! They wouldn't hurt him, would they?

No... maybe... maybe that wasn't Frisk.

But... it was their old striped sweater that... was covered in dust. As well as their hands and their sharp knife.

"F... F-FRISK?" Papyrus called them, as they were very quiet while they approached him. "W... WHAT ARE YOU...?"

Frisk's head came to raise a little. Their mouth came... to form a smile. But it wasn't their good old, lovely and adorable smile they usually offered their family and friends. It was... rather creepy, to say the least.

Not only that, but... Papyrus caught a glimpse of Frisk's eyes. They...

They were _red_.

No, that... that couldn't be Frisk.

They continued walking in his direction. Papyrus... wasn't feeling well.

What happened to Frisk? Why were they acting this way out of nowhere?

"F-FRISK?" He called them again.

Frisk suddenly laughed evilly and they started walking faster in his direction. Papyrus felt his skull sweat, his bones started rattling and he opened his arms in order to... wait, what did he intend on doing by opening his arms? Maybe... offer them mercy?

Because... they appeared to want to attack him.

"W-WAIT! FRISK, WHY- W-WHAT'S WITH THAT SMILE?" Papyrus asked. He didn't have a heart, but he could feel something inside his chest beating faster.

Papyrus stepped back on impulse. That... that _couldn't_ be Frisk, he repeated to himself. They- They would never hurt him!

"W-WHY ARE YOU ACTING THIS W-WAY?!" Papyrus asked again, but the human completely ignored him. "I-IT'S ME, PAPYRUS! YOUR FRIEND!!"

Nothing happened. Frisk wouldn't stop.

"W-WAIT, NO, D- D-DON'T DO THIS! D-DROP THIS KNIFE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!! I-IF THIS IS SOME OF KIND OF JOKE, I-IT'S NOT FUNNY!!" He ordered... but to no avail.

Frisk raised their right hand, the knife shining. Papyrus was too terrified, he couldn't understand what on earth was going on- why, why was this happening? Why was he back in Snowdin? Why did Frisk want to _attack_ him?

Their creepy smile widened and the knife was soon approaching him. Papyrus fell backwards as he tripped in the snow. 

"NO!!!" He screamed as loud as he could, bracing himself for the upcoming attack and closing his eyes out of fear.

...

...

He felt someone lightly shaking his body.

 _P-Papyrus?! Papyrus, talk to me!_ A voice echoed.

It... it was Frisk.

They sounded... worried. Scared.

Papyrus slowly opened his eyes, only to stare at the human's kitchen apron that contained a red heart, with the words "cooking fills me with DETERMINATION", something that Toriel had made to them a few months ago. Papyrus looked up at Frisk, whose eyes... were brown as usual. Not red. Their hands were clean, no dust could be found. The knife... was clean as well, yet it still shined. However, it wasn't directed at him anymore.

The skeleton checked his surroundings. He... wasn't at Snowdin. There were no snow and no trees around him. He was back at the kitchen. The sun could be seen from the window, as well as the white clouds next to it. He... he wasn't in the Underground, he was on the surface.

He... He was okay. And... Frisk was back to normal.

...

What... what had just happened?

Had it all been some sort of dream? A kind of dream in which you are actually awake?

"Papyrus, w- w-what was that?" Frisk asked. "You suddenly froze a-and then..."

Papyrus was still shaken by the... vision he had. He came to stand up with difficulties, as his arms and legs were shaking furiously. The human stared at him with a terrified face.

"Y-You... Y-You looked and sounded scared, I- I didn't understand why you suddenly panicked like that!" Frisk said. "W-What happened?"

"I..." Papyrus attempted to explain, but he came to think about it...

How would he explain that he had seen Frisk making a murderous face and that wanted to attack him like they had never been friends to begin with? Papyrus couldn't understand it himself.

"I... I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY..." He admitted. "I THINK IT WAS JUST... SOME KIND OF... PANIC ATTACK."

"B-But... you never have those-"

Papyrus's eyes widened as he touched the tomatoes when he leaned on the counter.

"OH, THE LASAGNA!" He said. "COME ON, FRISK, GIVE ME THE-"

Frisk offered him the knife, despite not understanding what was going on, but Papyrus... couldn't hold the knife. He stared at the sharp object. He was... afraid of that thing touching his bones.

"N-NO, WAIT!" Papyrus yelled when the knife almost touched his gloved fingers. "WAIT, LET'S-"

Frisk looked far more concerned than before. Papyrus tried to take some deep breaths without letting his fear too obvious. He had only seen things, Frisk was just a normal, determined and friendly child who would never, **ever** hurt him. It had indeed been some sort of hallucination he had out of nowhere. Things like this happened once in a while, right? He knew that a lot of people suffered from the same thing.

However, Papyrus... stared at the knife. He didn't want to touch it. At the same time, though, he didn't want Frisk touching it. They were just a child, they could easily get hurt by it- wait, was that _really_ the reason why Papyrus felt so intimidated by Frisk holding that knife?

Or maybe... he was **scared** of them?

No, that- that was stupid. The vision he had had was not real.

"G- G-GIVE ME THE KNIFE! I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING HURT!" He told them, taking it from their hands. "I-I OFFER MYSELF TO CUT THE VEGETABLES!"

Frisk stared at him and he couldn't face them anymore. He carefully... cut the tomatoes, trying to dismiss the bad feeling he still had under his spine. He didn't want to think about it anymore, but he couldn't stop-

He had suddenly felt panic, fear... and... and somehow _betrayal_ as well. He had felt that Frisk would have attacked him and taken his life away after everything they had gone through.

Papyrus shook his head.  _THIS IS SILLY! I TRUST FRISK, THEY ARE AN AMAZING FRIEND AND UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WOULD THEY HARM ME! THIS... DREAM, OR WHATEVER I SAW, WILL NOT PREVENT MYSELF FROM COOKING FOR MY FRIENDS!_

He frowned a little and started cutting the tomatoes in... some sort of aggressive way. Something he had never done before to any vegetables... but all he wanted was to get over these thoughts for once and for all.

"Papyrus, b-be careful..." Frisk said.

"I AM BEING CAREFUL!"

"You can hurt yourself-" They said louder, but they were interrupted by Papyrus.

"DO NOT FEAR, FRISK! I HAVE NO SKIN, SO IT CAN'T POSSIBLY HARM ME!"

... which was a lie. While he was a skeleton, it could hurt him indeed... at least that was what Sans had told him when he was just a mere babybones. And Papyrus had never cut himself because he had always been careful.

"NOW, ONTO THE NEXT STEP!" Papyrus said once he finished cutting the tomatoes without hurting himself, surprisingly enough... he still wasn't feeling well.

"Papyrus, you- you're not okay." Frisk grabbed his arm before he could do anything. "D-Don't you think you should take a break or something-?"

"OF COURSE I AM FINE! WHY WOULDN'T I BE?" Papyrus interrupted.

Frisk frowned a little and Papyrus couldn't help but lose a bit of his smile.

"OH... ABOUT THAT, WELL... IT- IT WAS NOTHING, REALLY!" He assured them. "THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!!"

Frisk didn't seem very convinced.

"I AM FINE!" He assured them again. "FRISK, I WOULD NEVER LIE TO YOU."

The human was about to say something else, but Papyrus came to escape from their grip and continued their cooking lesson without mentioning anything he had seen. Frisk didn't force him to talk, anyway, but they became awfully quiet. The environment then became awkward as well, and... it kind of stopped being fun like Papyrus had expected. It didn't help that every time he looked at Frisk, he would get a glimpse of the red eyes and the creepy smile they had had in his vision.

 _UGH, STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS!_ Papyrus thought.  _THE LASAGNA IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN THESE... THINGS I SAW! LET'S DO THIS FOR SANS, UNDYNE, ALPHYS AND TORIEL! AND FRISK AS WELL! THEY DIDN'T COME HERE TO NOT HAVE THEIR FIRST COOKING LESSON BECAUSE OF A STUPID VISION!!_

With this thought, Papyrus strived (for real) to avoid the bad feeling he still had under his spine. It... it wasn't very effective... But he had to be strong in order to make that lasagna delicious! _Nothing_ could intimidate the Great Papyrus at that moment!

Eventually, he came to put these thoughts aside and he cooked normally... regardless of Frisk still looking at him with concern. The human chose to remain silent, much to Papyrus's relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually seen this idea before, but with Sans. So, I thought to myself, "What if Papyrus had this instead?", because I'm cruel :'v
> 
> Should I continue this? This was supposed to have more chapters, but... I'm not sure whether I write more chapters or leave it how it is.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, I'm really sorry for the hiatus! It's been really challenging for me to write these weeks due to school...  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Although Papyrus hadn't had much fun with Frisk like he had imagined, at least the lasagna was made artistically. Once it was ready, the skeleton looked at it with such pride that he could cry tears of joy. The vivid color of yellow of the four cheese that covered its layers, the smell of the natural tomato sauce and the basil leaves made a perfect combination! Papyrus and Frisk were true chefs.

"WOWIE... IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!" Papyrus said as he took the lasagna out of the oven with Toriel's oven gloves. "I CAN ALREADY TELL IT'S GOING TO BE DELICIOUS!"

Frisk didn't seem to be very focused on that. Instead, they kind of... stared at the oven. Perhaps they were spacing out. However, they seemed thoughtful and Papyrus could see slight concern in their expression once they glanced at him. He felt bad, remembering the panic attack he had had, which he had actually forgotten while he cooked... or maybe not, as he had barely _looked_ at Frisk during the cooking lesson...

 _NO, I MUST NOT LET THAT UPSET ME!_ He thought to himself, frowning a little.  _FRISK SHOULDN'T THINK ABOUT IT, EITHER!_

Papyrus gave Frisk a little smile, but the human didn't return it. Actually... they looked even more worried. Was his smile not enough to let them know that the panic attack didn't matter at all?

"FRISK, I'M ALRIGHT... IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WONDERING." He assured them, his smile... becoming a little forced now. No, it shouldn't be forced! Why couldn't he... _relax_?

"THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, IT WAS JUST A SILLY PANIC ATTACK!" He assured them once more.

Frisk's expression didn't change. Their brown eyes radiated concern and Papyrus couldn't look at them without feeling bad. He couldn't understand why he had had the vision in the first place, it was _clear_ that Frisk cared about him. This is why he didn't want to tell them.

... right?

Frisk stayed silent, though. Papyrus sighed, his smile fading a little. On the other hand, as he looked back at the lasagna, it came back to his face and he looked at the human.

"LET'S PREPARE EVERYTHING!" He said. "THIS DINNER IS GOING TO BE AMAZING! EVERYONE WILL BE PROUD OF US!"

Papyrus said his usual "Nyeh Heh Heh!" while he walked to the dinner table that was located outside of the kitchen. He placed the lasagna on it and turned around to see Frisk... who stood in the same spot. In the same position, though their gaze aimed to the skeleton chef. Frisk didn't seem excited at all, which didn't make Papyrus feel any better. He genuinely felt _guilty_ for not telling them, as he could see by their suspicious, yet worried expression, but there was no point of revealing this vision, right?

 _MAYBE WHEN THE OTHERS ARRIVE, FRISK'S MOOD WILL BE IMPROVED?_ Papyrus wondered.  _I REALLY HOPE SO... IT HURTS SEEING THEM LIKE THIS... WORRYING ABOUT ME. I REALLY AM FINE!_

Papyrus's smile became strained as he tried to be the same cheerful skeleton he had always been... noticing this, he turned around so Frisk wouldn't see it.

 _I AM FINE, EVERYTHING IS FINE!!_ He thought, forcing positivity into his non-existent brain.

* * *

"WE'RE BACK, PUNKS!!"

Undyne's scream finally ended the uncomfortable environment that was provoked by Papyrus. Alphys, Sans and Toriel arrived home as well. The tall skeleton greeted them with a wide grin while Frisk waited at the dinner table quietly, only offering the others a small smile. Papyrus noticed, but he tried to maintain his joy.

"WELCOME! NOW SIT AND PLEASE, ENJOY THIS BEAUTIFULLY COOKED MASTERPIECE." The skeleton chef presented the lasagna that stood on the center of the table, where were also a few candles iluminating it. The other monsters seemed impressed.

"Aww, Papyrus, you did all this for us?" Toriel asked, flattered.

Papyrus nodded. "OF COURSE! AMAZING FRIENDS LIKE YOU DESERVE A QUALIFIED DINNER BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND HIS SKILLED STUDENT!" He pointed at Frisk, who seemed very inattentive.

"Wait, really?" Undyne asked as everyone looked at Frisk, who was a little shocked by the mention of their name.

"YES!" The skeleton said. "THEY DID AN IMPRESSIVE JOB IN THEIR FIRST LESSON!"

Frisk blushed lightly at such words, which already let him know they were flustered. Everyone was proud of them.

"Heh, good job, Frisk!" Undyne said, giving them a thumbs up.

"That's great, my child." Toriel smiled.

Frisk offered them a smile. While Papyrus enjoyed to see their face showing a little happiness, he could tell they were still... bothered. The skeleton could feel his SOUL ache a little. What was he supposed to do to make them feel better?

Though he had to leave that question for later as he realized that everyone sat on the empty chairs and they would most likely get suspicious at how Papyrus looked at the human. He sat next to Sans, facing Frisk, who sat next to Toriel. Alphys sat next to her, facing Undyne. Papyrus offered himself to cut the lasagna for his friends.

Finally, dinner started. Everyone took a bite out of the pasta and they all looked very amazed!

"Wow, this is amazing!" Undyne said.

"Yeah, g-good job!" Alphys complimented as well.

"I'm proud of you two." Toriel smiled.

Sans simply grinned, but it was enough for Papyrus to blush at the positive reception.

"AWW, THANK YOU ALL!" He said, smiling. Receiving compliments was worth it!

Toriel looked at Frisk and ruffled their hair. The child smiled, but again... it wasn't entirely a genuine smile. It came as a surprise to Papyrus that no one else noticed.

"We should try baking a pie one day, little masterchef!" She suggested. Frisk simply nodded, still smiling...

As everyone became more focused on the lasagna rather than Papyrus and the human, part of his joy came to disappear again. Frisk ate the lasagna quietly. They found it delicious, though, but they didn't look any better. Papyrus ate his piece, even though he'd rarely eat what he cooked. He would usually cook for others only.

The others started talking about their day - pretty much what happened in their same routines. They would laugh at funny things Undyne said, Toriel talked about her successful school and Alphys just mentioned the animes she had recently discovered and talked passionately about it. Although not everyone loved anime as much as she did, it was interesting to hear her interpretations and theories. Undyne was the one that enjoyed them the most, actually.

However, Papyrus couldn't really focus on the conversation... not when Frisk looked at him with a strange expression.

Papyrus couldn't exactly read their face. Though he still noticed concern, there was... something else in it.

Something like... guilt.

...

Why would Frisk feel _guilty_? Papyrus was sure they were still bothered by his panic attack, but why would they ever blame themself for provoking it? It was all made up in _his_ mind, they weren't responsible for anything!

Something had triggered the panic attack. He knew it wasn't Frisk's fault. Perhaps... he was afraid of knives...?

Though it didn't exactly made sense. He had always used knives normally to cut food without feeling so terrified. Or maybe he had never realized he had such fear... Papyrus did take a while to realize most things.

Still, how could a knife make his "brain" create such a horrifying vision...? While there were people out there who suffered from paranoia and had similar hallucinations, there was something off with Papyrus's.

It had... felt so real. So...

So _familiar_.

Like... maybe he had gone through it before.

...

But it never happened! If it _did_ happen, then he... wouldn't be... still there, right?

This was unheard of! Papyrus was just seeing things. He really should go back to reality and not worry about this anymore.

He gave the human a little smile in order to make them feel better. Frisk... smiled as well.

But it wasn't their normal smile.

...

Oh, no-

For a moment, Papyrus saw the same red color in their eyes, the same horrifying smile, the _hatred_  and psycopathy in their expression- He swore he could hear the same distorted, evil laugh coming from their mouth.

The skeleton started shaking again.

 _NO, NO- STOP, STOP!_ Papyrus thought, closing his eyes and trying to take deep breaths.  _THIS IS NOT REAL, THIS IS NOT REAL, **THIS IS NOT REAL** -_

The laughing coming from Frisk wouldn't stop, and it became _louder_ -

Despite not having any skin, he felt the cold temperature of Snowdin, as well as a few sweat drops rolling down his skull. He tried to maintain his eyes closed, as he didn't want to see any of this anymore, but he eventually did so. Frisk held a knife. Their eyes widened, their smile became wider and creepier. Papyrus repeated unstoppably to himself that none of that was real, _but it felt so real_ -

 _NO, **STOP**! _ He thought.

But the rest of his body wasn't cooperating. He was still shaking, he still felt very terrified, despite striving so hard to convince himself that it wasn't real.

The small knife went for his skull in a fast speed. Papyrus let out a scream out of distress and quickly attempted to defend himself by actually trying to push the sharp object away-

**_CRASH!_ **

The skeleton quickly turned away as he realized that something fragile broke. He came to recognize the broken pieces of what had once been a plate and a very small amount of tomato sauce that had probably been on it. The knife lied on the ground as well, its sharp point red, most likely due to the sauce.

Wait. How did he break a plate?

Papyrus looked at Frisk again. They were... their same old self again. They looked quite shocked, to say the least.

"Papyrus, what was _that_?" Undyne asked, sounding confused and worried.

The skeleton looked at everyone else. They all looked very startled. Papyrus didn't understand what was going on. He stared at them for a while, not knowing how to even explain.

"I... I-I- I M-MUST, ERM, G-GET SOME AIR!" He immediately said before anyone else asked him.

Papyrus stood up fast and ran to the kitchen, closing the door behind him. He panted, he could feel his bones rattling out of fear. For some reason, he felt himself getting a little dizzy and his vision became slightly blurred.

Why was this happening? Why was Papyrus seeing these things-?

"I-Is he okay?" Alphys asked, trying to be quiet, but he was still able to hear it.

"How strange... all Frisk did was to ask him to put the plate next to him." Toriel spoke in a suspicious tone.

Papyrus let out a deep, _relieved_ sigh.

"OH, _GOD_ -" He murmured.

However, he was still nervous. How could he **explain** what he had seen? Nothing about it made any sense. They would think Papyrus was crazy... perhaps he was, indeed.

But he knew those weren't real, he shouldn't make them worry about that. Besides, he... he was too terrified, too confused to explain every single detail, how he was seeing these things...

Papyrus couldn't tell them. He technically didn't want to, but he just- he **_couldn't_**.

He let out a quiet groan. Suddenly, from the other side, a knock was heard.

"pap?" Sans called him. "bro, what's wrong?"

"I-IT'S NOTHING, SANS! I'M JUST, UM, CLEANING THE KITCHEN!"

... how terrible.

Papyrus was great at everything, but he was no great at lying. He also didn't have the cold heart to lie to people that cared about him. But he didn't want to tell them anything about the visions...

"papyrus, come on." Sans said, now sounding firm and serious, yet Papyrus could notice the slight _pain_ in his voice.

"S-SANS, I... I JUST NEED A MOMENT."

With that, Sans didn't say anything, only letting out a sigh. Papyrus heard his footsteps distancing from the kitchen, which meant he wasn't on the other side anymore. The tall skeleton let out another groan, facepalming with both of his hands. He had never felt so... embarrassed, honestly.

He didn't have the courage to get out of the kitchen and face his friends after making that scene. On the other hand, he couldn't stay inside the kitchen forever, no matter how much he wanted. Maybe he could make up something so they weren't worried. He sucked at lying, but there wasn't really anything else he could (wanted to) do.

With that, Papyrus hesitantly reached the doorknob and slowly opened the door, his eyesockets searching for his friends. They were all at the dinner table. Alphys and Toriel whispered something to each other while Undyne and Sans looked at them with concern. Papyrus sighed, walking in their direction, finally. Sans was the first one to notice his brother.

"can you tell us what happened back there?" He asked.

Papyrus held his own hands. He realized they were _still_ shaking.

"I'M SORRY FOR THIS STRESS, I WAS... JUST DISTRACTED. FRISK ONLY STARTLED ME, THAT'S ALL." He lied.

Nobody seemed very convinced. Sans frowned a little, which made Papyrus look away. He hated lying to his brother, someone that loved him so much... but _he couldn't tell him_.

"papyrus-" Sans started, but Papyrus really didn't want to talk.

"SO, ERM... DID YOU FINISH THE LASAGNA?"

He reached the table to check his food. There were only a few pieces of lasagna left, much to his joy (which was shallow at the moment).

"Dude, don't change the topic. You sounded really scared, like something attempted to _attack_ you." Undyne said.

"Y-Yeah, it looked like you h-had seen something terrible..." Alphys stuttered.

"IT WAS NOTHING," Papyrus repeated. "I'M BEING HONEST, I-"

"Papyrus, dear, you know you can tell us whatever is bothering you, do you not?" Toriel's hand reached the skeleton's shoulder. "We just want to help you."

 _YOU CAN'T._ He thought, almost letting it escape from his jaw.

Frisk stared at him from the corner of the table. They were so quiet that Papyrus nearly forgot they were in the same room. It looked like Frisk was trying to tell him something... he could see it in their eyes.

But it felt like it would be something bad... or maybe it was just his impression. Papyrus wasn't exactly observant like Sans was. His brother could tell anything by just looking at someone's expression. With that, Papyrus was aware that he knew he was lying... which pained him.

"I'M FINE." Papyrus repeated. "I WAS JUST... THINKING ABOUT THINGS."

" _What_ things?" Undyne insisted.

"P-Papyrus, it won't be any good if you h-hide something that's b-bothering you..." Alphys said, then murmuring: "... believe me, I know."

Papyrus forced a smile, which turned out to be very weak. It clearly showed some of the distress he was feeling at the moment.

God, why couldn't they- why couldn't he forget about all that and just cherish the dinner he had planned for so long, the cooking lesson that Frisk had wanted so much to attend- he was _ruining_ a day that was supposed to be amazingly fun!

"THERE'S NOTHING I AM HIDING!" Papyrus said. "I KNOW I CAN COUNT ON YOU. IF I DID HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, I WOULD DO SO!"

He turned around, not facing them anymore. He just remembered the broken plate on the floor and immediately pushed his friends lightly so he could get a broom to clean (a part of) the mess he had made.

"Papyrus-" Undyne started.

"DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?" Papyrus already interrupted, knowing that they would make even more questions he didn't want to answer. "PLEASE, I'M ALRIGHT. I WAS SIMPLY, UM, 'SPACING OUT' AND THEN FRISK STARTLED ME. NOTHING IMPORTANT."

Papyrus _still_ smiled, which clearly made the others uncomfortable to watch. He then focused on the broke plate and got to clean the floor. However, as he was about to get the knife that still lied on the floor, he hesitated for a few seconds. He actually _stared_ at it, but he quickly got it once he realized. Papyrus walked past everyone and entered the kitchen to throw the broken pieces in the trash. Fortunately, nobody attempted to ask anything anymore. On the other hand, he could feel they were all looking at him.

Eventually, the environment became awfully quiet and uncomfortable again... all thanks to Papyrus and his stupid visions that had nothing to do with reality. He sighed deeply.

 _HOW COULD I RUIN THIS DAY...?_ He thought, feeling bad.

Papyrus went back to the dinner table.

"W-WELL, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE DINNER!" He said, trying to maintain the cheerful tone his voice usually had. "I SUPPOSE YOU CAN HELP ME TAKE THE DISHES TO THE KITCHEN."

They all looked at each other with concern, but they didn't say anything. They were aware that Papyrus wouldn't say anything. Well, he _was_ the persistentestest, after all.

He could still feel his lies crawling up his spine, though.

In the end, Toriel helped him with the dishes, while the others either stayed in the living room or went to their bedrooms. Papyrus and Toriel stayed very silent the entire time, at least until she got to ask him something.

"Papyrus, isn't there really anything that is bothering you?"

Papyrus shook his head. "I WOULD NEVER LIE TO YOU... YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?"

"Of course, it's just... I would like to help you in any way I can. As well as your brother and the others."

Toriel smiled sadly at him. Papyrus couldn't face her for so long.

"T... THANK YOU." He said. He really was thankful for having wonderful friends.

He hated to do this to them, but he had no choice.

"You can talk to me anytime you want, alright?" Toriel assured him.

Papyrus nodded, managing to smile at her. "ALRIGHT..."

Then, silence filled the environment once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, this turned out to be really long...  
> so yeah, I don't know if it would be OOC for everyone to not insist to know what Papyrus is afraid of, but I believe they wouldn't, y'know, press him to talk. Like mentioned, he's VERY persistent...
> 
> The story was originally going to have only a few more chapters, but since I changed the plot a little, it might be longer!  
> ... But yeah, since I'm busy because of school, don't expect me to update soon. PLEASE, DON'T RUSH ME.  
> (I'll be updating "Those Mysterious Eyes" when possible, too)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I had extra time to write another chapter!
> 
> i really hope this one isn't too confusing or anything... just saying :'v

It was honestly hard to look at his friends' faces without feeling terrible.

After the whole fiasco he had caused, everyone looked at him with concern. They wouldn't even say anything to him... Papyrus didn't know if it was worse than them asking him many questions.

They all loved him so much, but he was lying to them. He ruined Frisk's cooking lesson, he ruined the dinner... He ruined _everything_. Papyrus just wanted to be okay, he wanted to start the day all over again and not be bothered by some stupid vision.

 _URGH, STUPID..._ _BRAIN!_ He thought, despite his absence of brain.

Papyrus pretty much decided to stay in his room for the rest of the night, at least until everyone else went to bed. He was so tired, but he couldn't even sleep. His bed felt uncomfortable for some reason. All he did was to stare at the ceiling and force his eyesockets to shut down, but they wouldn't, no matter how much he tried.

He was so _exhausted_.

He didn't know what to do.

The image of that horrible... "Frisk" still tried to haunt him. Papyrus swore that, at certain moments, he would hear the creepy laugh. He would see _the smile_ -

And he would see the same deep red eyes full of _insanity_.

And they would make him insane as well.

...

What could he do?

_What could he do about it?_

There was no way he would tell anyone about this. It was way too terrifying, too confusing to explain... nobody would understand. And they couldn't help him, because it would happen whenever he let his guard down.

 _NO, I MUST RESIST! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND I WON'T LET THIS GET TO ME!!_ He thought, trying to stay confident about all this.

...

He didn't want to admit it, but it wasn't working. Not even his best encouragement, his self confidence seemed to be working...

His greatness was no useful for him now...

 _I C-CAN'T... LET THIS AFFECT ME!_ Papyrus thought, still trying to convince himself, even though, deep inside, he knew he was going to have a break down over all this.

He closed his eyes without his mentality's consent. For some reason, he could hear fast heartbeats and he didn't even _have_ organs. Though it could be his SOUL manifesting his feelings, his distress... Monsters were weird beings, especially when it was about skeleton monsters.

Suddenly, Papyrus heard the door of his bedroom opening. The light of the corridor entered the nearly dark room that had once been iluminated by the moonlight. He recognized his brother's short figure. The tall skeleton managed to smile, but it was so strained...

"O-OH, HELLO THERE, SANS!" He said, trying to sound cheerful like always... but to no avail.

Sans's usual grin had faded. His expression... it hurt to watch his brother worrying about all this. What was even more painful was that Sans downright stared at him without saying anything. His eyesockets radiated so much concern for him... Papyrus's smile almost faded as he saw this.

But he couldn't let him know. He couldn't let anyone know.

They didn't need to worry about this.

Sans sighed and he walked to the bed's direction. He stood right beside him. Papyrus sat on his bed, knowing that Sans would say something... seconds of silence passed between the two.

"DO YOU NEED SOMETHING?" Papyrus asked, trying to sound oblivious.

The short skeleton looked at him, unimpressed. A slight frown could be noticed and Papyrus couldn't look at him anymore.

"... papyrus." The way Papyrus's name sounded in Sans's voice was even **worse** , it made him flinch.

"what happened?" Sans asked.

"N... NOTHING, SANS. I'M FINE, IT WAS JUST-"

" _papyrus_ , just- just tell me already."

Sans was trying hard to keep it cool. There was certain _anger_ in his voice, something that Papyrus would rarely see. Although his brother could be weird sometimes, he had never scared him like this before. Not as he could remember.

"SANS, I..." He looked back at his brother, who still wore the same expression of concern and pain.

 _HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN WHAT I SAW? IT'S NOT LIKE... HE CAN ACTUALLY HELP ME._ He thought, immediately remaining silent and looking away for a moment. 

_NO... I... I HAVE TO DO THIS ALL BY MYSELF! **I** AM THE ONE THAT CREATED THIS AWFUL VISION, SO I WILL BE THE ONE TO FIND A SOLUTION!_

For a moment, Papyrus felt his confidence returning to his SOUL, he genuinely felt a small shred of hope. On the other hand, though... watching his brother stare at him with such concern didn't make him feel all that better.

"LOOK, YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY." Papyrus said. "IF I HAD ANY ISSUES, I WOULD KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AFTER ALL! THERE'S NOTHING I CANNOT DO!"

Sans's expression didn't change... though there was a _very_ weak smile that formed on his face. He patted Papyrus's skull gently, sighing.

"look, bro... you know you can always count on me." He said. "i know something's messing you up and i'll be willing to help you, no matter what."

Papyrus looked at him, heartbroken. God, his brother cared so much about him and he was lying to him...

"YOU... DON'T HAVE TO, SANS." He said. "THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH ME-"

"you shouldn't be afraid of asking for help, pap."

Sans reached his hands and slightly squeezed them. For the love of Asgore, could Papyrus's metaphorical heart break _even more_?

On the other hand, though... it was interesting to hear that Sans was the one that said that to Papyrus when he kept many secrets himself... though the tall skeleton wouldn't really complain, he would always be there for his brother whenever he needed.

Perhaps... Sans wanted to return the favor.

But... he didn't need to.

"you can talk to me anytime you want, ok?" Sans assured him. "please, i want to help you, so does everyone."

"I... I KNOW. BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO." Papyrus reassured with a... fake smile.

Sans sighed again, but he didn't insist. It took a while for them to release their hands, though.

"fine then. i... i won't force you. but know that i'm always here." He said, the remaining of his smile fading out with the darkness of the room. "g... good night, papyrus. if you need anything, you can call me."

"OKAY..."

Papyrus watched his brother walking away slowly...

For a second, he actually _considered_ telling him.

But... he couldn't.

He just couldn't-

Before Sans left the room, however...

"W-WAIT, SANS!" Papyrus called his brother in impulse.

Sans immediately turned around. "yea, bro?"

Papyrus clutched his blanket, looking down at it anxiously.

"I, UM..."

He actually didn't know what he was going to say, despite calling Sans out of fear.

"I... I-I LOVE YOU." Papyrus said without thinking.

He looked back at him. Sans let out a small chuckle, a short feeling of joy showing in the middle of all the concern he felt at the moment.

"i love you too, papyrus." He said.

As soon as he closed the door, Papyrus let out a deep breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He fell on his bed, covering his eyesockets with his hands.

He had **almost** told Sans... almost.

But he knew he had to face his problems alone. Papyrus knew what he was doing and he was determined to finish all this, even if it meant lying to his brother, to Frisk and to everyone else.

 _I CAN DO THIS!_ He thought, the confidence in him actually increasing significantly.

Papyrus got comfortable and stared at the ceiling, trying to force himself to sleep. It would all be better in the morning, he thought. Everything would be fine, he would be fine and nobody would have to worry about anything anymore. It was simple, just like mere crosswords!

* * *

2:00 A.M.

...

Papyrus was still awake.

He looked at the clock with disbelief. How come so much time had passed already?

He sighed deeply. The house was so quiet, everyone else was probably sleeping by that time. Papyrus looked around...

He caught a glimpse of two red lights... right in front of him. A strange, yet familiar silhouette...

Papyrus felt his skull sweating again, his eyesockets widened and-

No, not again!

It wasn't real!

Papyrus shook his head and closed his eyes for a brief moment. When he opened them, the figure... was gone.

He sighed out of relief.

 _SEE? NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT! IT WAS ALL JUST A SILLY VISION._ Papyrus smiled to himself... still uneasy, to say the least.

Papyrus looked at his left side, only to find his bedside table, which contained a few action figures of sexy robots, photos of him, Sans and all of his friends... including Frisk. He grabbed one of the framed photos, which included Papyrus, Frisk, Sans, Undyne and Alphys.

Papyrus and Frisk stood next to each other, smiling at the camera. The skeleton sighed.

 _I DON'T... UNDERSTAND. WHY WOULD I EVER CREATE SUCH A HORRIFYING IMAGE OF THIS WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING?_ He thought to himself, letting out a sad smile as he stared at the photo, particularly the two of them.

They were so close, it just... didn't make sense. Papyrus wanted to understand why he was getting these bad visions...

How would he find out, though? Perhaps it was yet another mystery in his life. There were still many things he had never gotten the answer to, but he never questioned. After all, they would never change what he had become. His life was great just the way it was.

Maybe he shouldn't question this. Maybe... maybe it would all stop.

He just needed to trust himself and go for it.

... yeah, that's what the Great Papyrus would do!

He put the photo back where it was. Papyrus let out a deep breath and stayed veeery quiet... _finally_ , he was feeling relaxed after looking at the photo.

He formed a little smile before he closed his eyesockets and felt his body get heavier and slowly leaving reality.

* * *

It was dark.

Dark, darker yet... darker.

Papyrus opened his eyes and found himself in the middle of a black void. He looked around, utterly confused. How... did he get in there? And where would that void be?

"H... HELLO?" He called for someone, despite being unsure of any signs of life, seeing as the place was _completely_ empty.

However, he couldn't help but feel something... odd about that place. He could actually... feel a weird presence.

Like if something- no, _someone_ was watching him.

...

Papyrus held his hands nervously, genuinely feeling frightened. Before he could do anything, though... he saw a body forming a few meters(?) away. He immediately ran to whoever was in there, despite being aware that it could be a complete stranger. But all he wanted to do was to know how to get out of there.

"E-EXCUSE ME, COULD YOU TELL ME WHERE-?"

Suddenly, though, the body became visible. Papyrus blinked and saw... Undyne. She looked... different. Her hair was more spiky, her armor contained a huge heart drawn on her chest, her left eye was uncovered. Both of her eyes were closed.

She... seemed awfully exhausted, like she had gone through a fight for her own life.

 _ **D-Damn it...**_ Undyne muttered. Her voice was... distorted. Yet she sounded so _weak_.

_**So even THAT power...** _

_**... It wasn't enough...?** _

Papyrus couldn't understand what was going on.

"U-UNDYNE, WHAT- W-WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!" He asked, deeply concerned.

Undyne started _laughing_. There was nothing funny about this, why on earth was she laughing?!

**_If you..._ **

**_If you think I'm gonna give up hope, you're wrong._ **

**_Cause I've... got my friends behind me._**

Undyne formed a wide grin in her face, despite the gravity of the situation. She didn't seem to even _notice_ Papyrus trying to speak to her. He grabbed her by the shoulders.

"UNDYNE, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME? WHAT HAPPENED?!" He asked, desesperate. She looked weaker and weaker as she spoke. "P-PLEASE, TALK TO ME!!"

**_Alphys told me that she would watch me fight you..._ **

**_And if anything went wrong, she would... evacuate everyone._ **

W... What was she talking about?

And... if she wasn't directing to Papyrus, then...

 _Who_ was she talking to?

She looked to her right, which had nothing, considering they were in a black void.

 ** _By now she's called Asgore and told him to absorb the six human souls._** Undyne continued, looking at Papyrus's direction. Still, he knew that she wasn't talking to him.

Six... human souls? But monsters were all free already!

"W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" Papyrus asked, though he was unsure if Undyne could listen to him. "ANSWER ME!"

Without any warning, Undyne... started _melting_.

Papyrus let out a loud gasp, his eyesockets widened in terror. He tried to keep herself together as her body liquid dropped on the non-existent ground under them.

"UNDYNE?!" He screamed.

It was getting worse. She grinned sadly, yet proudly. He could see the glimmer of hope in her almost lifeless eyes, which were different as well.

"UNDYNE, S-STAY TOGETHER!" Papyrus ordered. "I-I WILL TRY TO DO SOMETHING, I-"

 ** _And with that power..._** She continued speaking, still unaware of his attempts of helping her.

**_This world will live on...!_ **

Suddenly, Undyne's dust spread all over the floor and Papyrus's gloves. The skeleton's jaw dropped as he trembled furiously. He stared at her dust and he clenched his fists, which shook violently.

"U... U-UNDYNE...?" Papyrus felt the urge of crying.

W... What was going on? What had happened to Undyne?!

She... was gone.

She became nothing but mere dust.

"W... WHAT H-HAPPENED...?" He sniffled.

He... couldn't help her.

Still, Undyne was invicible! Nothing could... ever harm her like that!

Who had done this to her? Who would be so heartless to commit such a horrible act against his best friend?!

Then, Papyrus heard another female voice.

**_Y... You..._ **

**_... really hate me that much?_ **

It... it was Toriel. Papyrus saw her figure to his left. There was a long, deep cut in her body. Her face was seriously injured as well and her eyes... they were so white, she seemed _lifeless_.

 ** _Now I see who I was protecting by keeping you here._** Her voice was distorted as well. She sounded so... heartbroken, so... god, it was painful to hear.

Papyrus had no words to say. He was too confused. He could still feel Undyne's dust in his hands, despite wearing his orange-red gloves.

**_Not you..._ **

**_... but them!_ **

Toriel smiled and... started laughing as well. She stood on her knees, clutching her robe.

**_H a . . .  h a . . ._ **

She... turned into dust as well. Her SOUL took a while to shatter, as she was a Boss Monster.

Papyrus stared at Toriel's dust in horror, not knowing what to do.

...

This... didn't make any sense.

Was someone hurting his friends?

How could he not find who was the responsible?! He... he should have been there for them!

Papyrus looked around.

"W-WHO KILLED THEM?!" He screamed. "WHO DID THIS?!!"

There was no answer. Papyrus panted furiously, tears falling from his eyesockets. Who... who could have done this _monstrocity_?

"WHAT IS GOING ON...?" He murmured, sobbing. "I... I-I DON'T... UNDERSTAND..."

He looked down at Undyne's dust in his gloves. Tears fell on it, making the dust blend with the water.

"I... I... I-I COULDN'T... PROTECT YOU..." He whispered.

_But from what?_

Papyrus heard another noise coming from behind. He heard... panting.

_**so... i guess that's it, huh?** _

_Oh no._

"S-SANS?!" Papyrus screamed as he saw his brother.

Sans had a huge cut as well, but ketchup was coming out of it, as well as from his mouth. He had his usual grin on his face.

"SANS, WHO DID THIS?!" Papyrus ran to his brother. "WHO IS-?!"

 ** _... just... don't say i didn't warn you._** Sans's voice echoed all over the void.

He stood up, his left hand clutching his ketchup-stained jacket.

**_welp..._ **

**_i'm going to grillby's._ **

Sans panted slowly as he walked away from Papyrus. The latter ran after him but, for some reason, he couldn't reach him, like if the distance between them was getting bigger-

"SANS!!" Papyrus screamed.

Sans suddenly stopped and looked up. His body slightly shook.

**_papyrus..._ **

**_do you want anything?_ **

Wait, what-?

Sans's dust spread all over the "floor" as well. More and more tears came out of Papyrus's eyes as he fell on his knees.

"N... N-NO... S-S-SANS..." Papyrus whispered, sobbing.

Why was everyone _dying_?

Who... did this?

Papyrus sniffled. He ended up alone in the black void, with nothing but the dust of his friends and his brother.

He would be alone... forever.

He lost everyone...

...

How did this all happen...?

Papyrus hiccuped as he clenched his fists.

**_Heheh... how satisfying._ **

Papyrus jumped out of fear as he recognized Frisk's voice, despite it being even more distorted than the others. The child popped up in front of him, their red eyes radiating satisfaction, the dust covering their striped sweater and dirtying their face and hands. They smiled creepily.

"F... FRISK?" He said.

No, it... it couldn't be.

They couldn't have...!

"Y... Y-YOU DIDN'T..." Papyrus murmured as Frisk laughed evilly.

They answered with a smile...  _proudly_.

No, this- this was all wrong!

"Y... YOU'RE NOT FRISK!" Papyrus denied. "FRISK WOULD NEVER KILL ANYONE! I-I DON'T GET IT, W-WHAT IS HAPPENING-?"

"Frisk" laughed at him, like if what he said was plain ridiculous. They shrugged, like Sans did.

 ** _You're so stupid... it's no wonder why everyone is- no, WAS always lying to you._** They smirked.  ** _You are nothing but a stupid, naive brat._**

Papyrus didn't answer, not understanding the situation.

 ** _You believe in everything people tell you. You trust them so much that you never see the truth behind them._** "Frisk" continued.

"W-WHAT?"

 _ **Can't you SEE?** _ "Frisk" approached him, threatening to attack him with their knife.  ** _You keep believing that I am this innocent, loving friend, even though I killed everyone you love... I can't believe you are so easily tricked by people._**

Papyrus actually backed away a little in impulse. No, he knew that wasn't Frisk, he shouldn't ever listen to this impostor!

"LIES! YOU'RE  **LYING**!!" He said, tears still rolling down his skull. "I KNOW FRISK, THEY WOULD NEVER HARM US!"

The psycopathic human laughed again.

"YOU'LL NEVER CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE!" Papyrus said.

"Frisk" grinned evilly and their left eye shined for a brief moment. Suddenly, he felt something _painful_ in his chest-

He was cut mercilessly by the human. Papyrus fell on the ground easily, completely losing his breath and movements.

 ** _You're such an IDIOT._** "Frisk" said.  ** _You believe in others so much that you don't realize how much they actually hate you. _** ** _Do you think Sans actually loved you? And what about your other friends, who always treated you like a child?_**

 **_You are unloved._  ** **_No one would even care if you died._ **

The words that came out of the impostor's mouth were actually _impacting_ on him. But... he couldn't... let it get to him! He knew it wasn't Frisk, he knew he was loved, there was no doubt of that!

 ** _This is all just a game. You never mattered to me, either. _**"Frisk" laughed again.

He felt something grab his long scarf and pull him aggressively. "Frisk" smiled creepily at him. Papyrus panted and felt his bones rattling, but he couldn't do anything in order to defend himself. He couldn't scream for help, he couldn't stop the human-

 ** _You are FORGETTABLE._** "Frisk" said.

They laughed and laughed, their voice becoming way more distorted. He saw the sharp knife approach his eyes at a fast pace-

* * *

Papyrus jumped as he gasped loudly, his skull flooded with sweating and his SOUL aching more than ever-

He touched his skull, realizing that... that...

... there was no knife.

He passed his hands all over his chest. There were no cuts either.

Papyrus panted. He wasn't in a black void, he had no dust in his hands, there was no impostor of Frisk-

He was in his bedroom, on the surface, at _home_ -

Papyrus suddenly froze and immediately ran to his bedroom's door, even though he couldn't even stand up straight. He made his way to Sans's room and opened the door, only to find his brother sleeping peacefully in his messy bed.

Papyrus let out a shaky breath of relief. As he closed Sans's bedroom's door, he fell on his knees and started crying unstoppably, but trying not to wake up anyone. He could hear Undyne's muttering while she slept, since her and Alphys's bedroom was right in front of Sans's. It meant that Undyne was fine, too. If they were both okay, then Toriel was fine, too.

Then... then Frisk wasn't...

Papyrus shook violently, sobbing quietly. Eventually, though, he managed to get out of the corridor before anyone woke up. With difficulties, he went downstairs and sat on the nearest chair of the dinner table. He still panted, but he was slowly... calming down.

But he couldn't stop crying.

He looked at the stairs one last time before bursting in tears, covering his eyes with his shaky hands.

"WHY... WHY I-IS THIS HAPPENING...?" Papyrus whispered.

"I... I-I DON'T... U-U-UNDERSTAND..."

He hiccuped.

"I..."

"I WANT THIS TO STOP..."

Papyrus lied his head on his arms, crying and sobbing unstoppably.

"PLEASE..." He pleaded to... nothing? " _PLEASE_ , MAKE THIS STOP..."

" ** _P L E A S E . . ._** "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boy, i spent more than three hours writing this...
> 
> ah, don't worry, fellow readers, more suffering will arrive-
> 
> Though I'm honestly a little surprised that people are actually enjoying this fic...  
> Well, thank you all for the kudos and nice comments! I appreciate it! :')


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> agh, this hiatus is ending me ;-; I'm really sorry!  
> I really hope this chapter is decent, I've been meaning to write it for the past months but I was never satisfied with how it came out :/

Papyrus had never been the type of person that would sleep much, but lately, he had been trying to get some decent amount of sleep. The greatest monsters deserved to take a rest, after all!

...

Apparently, though, he... failed.

Papyrus was too great to fail at anything, but he couldn't deny his defeat. He had stayed awake the whole night, sitting on the same chair, doing nothing but... think and ask himself multiple times _why_ he was seeing the horrible images of Frisk murdering his friends and himself. Unfortunately, he didn't exactly have any answers. He had once thought of his possible fear of knives, but... would it be so grave to the point of provoking _bad dreams_?

His nightmares almost felt like...  **memories**. As if... they were part of a haunting moment of his past.

But why did he feel this way?

 _Why_?

This question was what made Papyrus not sleep at all. Not only this, but also the fact that he was afraid of... seeing it all again.

The thing is, Papyrus had spent so much time trying to figure it out that, once he realised, it was already morning. The sunlight that came out of the kitchen let him know that, which shocked him, to say the least.

He checked the clock. It... was 7:30 A.M.

The tall skeleton sighed very deeply, lying his head on the dinner table again. He was feeling awfully exhausted... it didn't help that his skull ached a little as well.

Papyrus was usually the one that would set the table for breakfast, but he couldn't even stand up. His bones were heavier than usual, as well as his eyesockets. He could even fall asleep by doing so.

But he couldn't just... skip his duty of preparing breakfast! Papyrus wasn't like his brother, who would usually leave his responsibilites for later. He would never procrastinate!

But... he was so _tired_.

...

Papyrus, however, didn't let it prevent him from standing up. He nearly tripped, though. It was challenging to even **walk**.

The tall skeleton leaned on the table, taking a deep breath. His skull started aching more now, which made him groan quietly. He stayed this way for... quite a long time, actually. Papyrus didn't feel like... doing anything at the moment. He wanted to lie on his bed. Not sleep, but just... lie down for a while.

Papyrus... actually considered going back to his room.

But then he heard someone going downstairs. He immediately walked to the kitchen, nearly tripping again, but he made it to the counter. Taking another deep breath, he tried to smile as genuinely as he could. He turned around once the footsteps entered the kitchen.

"GOOD MORNING-!" Papyrus spoke cheerfully, at least until he realised it... was Frisk.

Out of anyone he had expected to be there, he clearly didn't expect that Frisk would already be awake. Toriel would usually be one of the first to get up. Only then the others would.

"OH, FRISK!... W-WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE! I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO BE AWAKE SO EARLY..."

Those words... sounded like a lie.

For some reason, Papyrus was confused at how he should feel about... their presence. He really tried to be happy with them there, but he... just _couldn't_. He actually felt... guilty once he realised.

Frisk looked at him with... certain concern. Just like... yesterday.

"P... Papyrus, d-did you even... get to sleep last night?" They asked, ignoring his observation.

Papyrus tried to not look ashamed. If Frisk made such question, then... he must look _awful_.

Oh nuts.

"YES! WHY DO YOU ASK?" Papyrus asked, trying to be oblivious.

Of course, it was no effective whatsoever...

Frisk didn't really say anything, but the slight frown in their face already told him everything. Papyrus couldn't help gulping, but he immediately tried to hide his nervousness by turning away.

"W-WELL, I WAS GOING TO, ERM... PREPARE BREAKFAST," He said, trying to avoid the topic. "SO YOU CAN, I DON'T KNOW, TURN ON THE TELEVISION AND WATCH SOME OF THOSE CARTOONS?"

"Papyrus-"

"I'LL TAKE A WHILE, SO I'LL CALL YOU ONCE I-"

" _Papyrus_."

Papyrus froze as Frisk's tone changed drastically.

"W... what's happening to you?" The child asked. "Y-You're acting so different now... especially... around me."

Papyrus turned back to them, trying to act indignant over such question.

"FRISK, I HAVE TOLD YOU ALREADY... I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE FROM YOU! I AM FINE!" He answered, forcing a smile. "I-IF THIS IS ABOUT LAST NIGHT, THEN YOU MUST BE SILLY IF YOU'RE STILL WORRYING ABOUT THAT!"

Frisk sighed deeply. "Papyrus, I just-"

"CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT THIS TOPIC ANYMORE? IT'S SO IRRELEVANT NOW, DON'T YOU THINK?"

Papyrus turned his back to them, though immediately feeling guilty at how... different he was acting towards them.

"... fine." Frisk said, quietly.

Their footsteps could be heard leaving the kitchen. Once they were out of sight, Papyrus let out a deep sigh he had been holding ever since they had entered.

 _I'M SORRY._ He wanted to say, but... he didn't feel like doing so.

He wished he could just... understand why all this happened to him. Was there something seriously wrong with him? Because he had the feeling that it wasn't just a knife that caused this whole issue.

If there was, then... _what could it be_?

...

Papyrus's thoughts were interrupted once he heard the noise of the television coming from the living room, which immediately reminded him that he should be preparing breakfast at the moment!

Although his bones were still heavy and his skull ached, his desire to set everything was stronger than his exhaustion!... and the nerve-wracking questions that wouldn't leave his mind at all.

* * *

Papyrus didn't really have difficulties. He was able to set a decent breakfast table, at least. He could have done better, though.

Eventually, everyone else got up, even... Sans was awake earlier than usual, which came as a shock to him. And probably to others as well.

Toriel was the first and... only person (besides Frisk) to ask about Papyrus's sleep. As he insisted that he did have a good sleep again, his friends said nothing else. Still, they would glance at him with concern in their faces, which would make him feel worse.

Once breakfast finished (finally, it was becoming awkward again...), Toriel insisted that she would wash the dishes on her own. She convinced Papyrus to sit on the couch for a while. He... couldn't really argue with her. He was awfully tired indeed.

Frisk went to their bedroom to clean it while Alphys and Undyne prepared themselves to work. Sans went to the bathroom to... take a shower? Papyrus didn't even yell at him to do so. Not that he could, anyway... he was too tired to do that.

Papyrus turned on the television and just... switched multiple channels, not finding interest in any of them. He tried to get some distraction, but there was literally _nothing_ worth watching. In the meantime, his skull still ached a little, but he tried to not let it disturb him too much.

Papyrus blinked his eyesockets as he felt himself nearly... passing out. _God_ , he was so tired...

But he didn't want to sleep, either.

He let out a quiet groan, still trying to keep himself awake.

Everything was actually quiet, even though Papyrus could hear Toriel washing the dishes. It wasn't really bothering him and the TV's volume was pretty low. Eventually, he... started closing his eyes...

"Hey Paps, what are you watching?"

Papyrus jumped as he heard Undyne's voice. She immediately looked confused at his sudden reaction.

"Woah, did I startle you?" She asked. "Jeez, I'm sorry."

"N-NO, IT'S... FINE, REALLY. I WAS DISTRACTED."

Papyrus attempted to smile. Undyne didn't seem really convinced once she analyzed him better. He looked away, ashamed.

"What's up?" She asked, sitting next to him.

Papyrus shrugged. "NOTHING MUCH..."

He stared at the television, but he didn't pay attention to it. He could feel Undyne staring at him, though, which made him feel uneasy again. The two didn't share any words, though only after some good minutes Undyne decided to speak again.

"What's bugging you, Papyrus?" She asked.

"NOTHING."

Undyne sighed. "Papyrus, you can't just... avoid it, you know? You really think I- _we_ haven't noticed?"

"NOTICE WHAT? I-I AM FINE!" Papyrus spoke in a way that sounded like what Undyne was saying was ridiculous.

"Look at me."

Papyrus looked at her. She didn't look impressed, yet he could still notice how concerned she was by just... looking straight into her only eye.

"I just want to help you, Paps." Undyne said. "You can tell me whatever is in your mind."

He held his own hands, looking at them for a few seconds before going back to Undyne. They... already trembled a little. He seriously hoped she wouldn't notice. He gulped, thinking of excuses to tell her. What was he supposed to say?

"UNDYNE, REALLY, THERE'S NOTHING... TO TALK ABOUT AND..."

Undyne raised an eyebrow, still looking unimpressed. Papyrus didn't feel like continuing to lie.

He didn't know if he could keep this up much longer. Papyrus hated lying to his friends, who just wanted to help him. He truly felt heartbroken for doing so, but, at the same time, he didn't want to get them involved in this situation.

But god, it hurt so much. He could never forget the pain Sans had in his expression when he had spoken to him last night. Papyrus didn't want to hurt them anymore, but- he had to!

What was he supposed to do?

"C'mon, buddy..." He heard Undyne say. "Just tell me. If you don't want anyone to know just yet, then don't worry, I won't tell them... but maybe _you_ should."

He stared at the floor now. Undyne patiently waited for an answer... which was a little unusual, considering how impatient the fish lady could be. Though he still appreciated the fact that she wasn't pressing him to spit out the truth.

It took some good minutes for him to actually say anything else. Undyne didn't complain, though.

"I, ERM..." Papyrus began, not sure how to end. "YOU SEE..."

His hands clutched his pajamas now. He took a deep breath afterwards.

"W-WELL, IT DOESN'T... HAVE TO DO WITH WHAT HAPPENED AT D-DINNER..." He continued. "BUT..."

Undyne listened carefully.

"I... I-I HAD A... A-A NIGHTMARE." Papyrus finally admitted.

Undyne approached him a little in interest. "Yeah?"

Papyrus nodded, still avoiding to look at her.

"What was it about?"

The skeleton's grip on his own pajamas tightened as Papyrus remembered what he had seen in that awful nightmare. For a second, he felt Undyne's dust dirtying his hands. Her last words before vanishing repeated inside his mind over and _over_ -

"Papyrus, come on, look at me." Undyne said firmly.

Papyrus couldn't look at her without seeing the exhaustion in her face and her hopeful, yet severely weak and disappointed expression. He suddenly heard the same laugh coming from her and he could see her body melting, but she still held her grin despite nearly dying-

"Papyrus?" Undyne spoke, her eye widening. "Papyrus, wha-"

Papyrus suddenly felt tears forming on his eyesockets.

No... _no_!

He... he couldn't let her know!

He immediately dried his eyes before Undyne could see them with more clarity. The pain in his skull increased dramatically as he remembered his dear friend dying in front of him, all thanks to the fact that he hadn't protected her and-

Papyrus felt sweat drops roll down his skull and new tears threatening to fall. He couldn't... breathe right. He heard several words coming from Undyne's mouth, but he couldn't quite understand them. He closed his eyes forcefully as his bones rattled out of fear.

 _IT WASN'T REAL, IT WASN'T REAL, **IT WASN'T REAL-**_ He repeated inside his mind, trying to calm himself down. But it didn't work.

 _ **STOP THIS!**_ He insisted.

He felt two hands grabbing his face and he met Undyne's only eye. She was... actually startled.

"Papyrus, _breathe_!" She ordered.

Papyrus let out a gasp, followed by pants. Undyne started panting as well.

A few minutes passed and Papyrus was able to at least... breathe (not very well, but it still counted). Undyne, on the other hand, still looked scared; not like before, though.

"Papyrus, what- _what_ happened?" She asked.

His skull ached so much, he twitched and let out a groan.

"M... M-MY SKULL IS ACHING..." He muttered, his hands touching his head.

"Oh jeez, I- I'm going to get you some tea, how about that? S-Sound good?"

Before Papyrus could even answer, Undyne rushed to the kitchen.

"Undyne, what's the matter?" Toriel asked. "I thought I heard-"

"Papyrus just- I-I don't know! H-He suddenly freaked out again and he's got some bad headache, so I'm making him some tea and-!"

"Undyne, calm down." Toriel interrupted. Undyne still panted. Hearing this, Papyrus felt bad.

This... was what he was trying to avoid all long. He didn't want to worry them with these hallucinations, these nightmares...

Why couldn't it all end for once?

Papyrus heard loud noises of pans. Toriel still tried to calm her down, but she eventually gave up. Undyne insisted on making some tea for her friend and nobody could stop her when she was determined.

The skeleton sighed deeply. Toriel suddenly showed up in the living room, which kind of startled him. He didn't even hear her coming in. She held... a plate containing a slice of pie.

"Is your skull aching a lot?" She asked.

Papyrus nodded, not saying anything.

"Would you like some pie? I think it might help."

He nodded again. Toriel left the plate on the center table, along with a fork. She glanced at Papyrus a few times, which kind of... bothered him. She didn't say anything, though.

Honestly, Papyrus thought silence was way worse than her saying anything about his state.

Toriel didn't leave the room, though. Finally, Undyne arrived with some golden flower tea (Papyrus recognized the smell). Despite feeling tense, at least she didn't burn the kitchen...

"Here, it will make you feel better." Undyne said.

Papyrus's hands were still shaking, but he was able to hold the cup with no trouble. He took a sip. It was very delicious.

"T... THANK YOU." He said to both of them.

Toriel smiled while Undyne still looked unsure. The two women didn't leave the room... Papyrus hated to admit that he kind of wanted them to do so. It was so rude and ungrateful of him to think that.

"Papyrus, could you _please_ explain why you suddenly freaked out like that?" Undyne asked after a good time of silence passed.

Papyrus looked down, refusing to say anything.

" _Goddammit_ , Papyrus-!" Undyne said, making the skeleton flinch. "Why won't you say anything?!"

"Undyne," Toriel contained her. "please, calm down. Take deep breaths."

"How am I supposed to be calm when he's acting this way?!"

"STOP!" Papyrus suddenly snapped, which startled the two. He immediately regretted.

"I... I'M SORRY." He said, feeling... small. "I-I JUST... I W-WANT TO BE ALONE, IF Y-YOU DON'T MIND.."

Undyne was about to continue arguing, but Toriel scolded her with a stern look. The fish lady let out a deep breath and she ended up leaving the living room. Papyrus watched her doing so. Toriel did the same.

"You wouldn't like to talk about what happened, would you?" She asked.

Papyrus sighed, shaking his head. Toriel looked slightly hurt, but she didn't insist.

"Alright then... it's fine if you want to be alone for some time, though." She said. "I respect that. However... all I ask of you, again, is just... not to hide what is hurting you, alright?"

Papyrus nodded. "THANK YOU... T-THANK YOU SO MUCH."

Toriel smiled sadly. The skeleton suddenly spoke quietly: "I'M SORRY."

"There's no need to apologize." She assured him. "I... I will leave you alone now. Call me if you need anything."

Papyrus nodded again, not looking at her anymore. Toriel went back to the kitchen, leaving him alone with her pie and the golden flower tea, which... was less warm already. It was still delicious, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, though, I think Undyne wouldn't be the best person to deal with Papyrus panicking... I believe she would freak out as well, heh  
> (just thought of sharing this because idk if this would be OOC to you guys)
> 
> Once again, I unfortunately can't tell when I'll be able to work on the fic again, but I'll keep you all updated when possible! I hope you're enjoying the story so far :)


	5. Chapter 5

Papyrus didn't do anything the entire day.

Since he still didn't get to open his own restaurant or even had a job (which was a work in progress), the skeleton found himself lying on the couch... much to his dislike; Papyrus was the last person to ever _enjoy_ doing nothing!

... But could he really help it? He was too **bone** -tired to do anything...

Most of his friends were out; Alphys and Undyne had gone to work, Frisk was hanging out with that monster child and Sans... Papyrus wasn't exactly sure. He never was when it came to his brother, anyway. Toriel was the only one home besides Papyrus, but she kept herself busy with the house chores. The skeleton would usually go there and help her, but his bones were far too heavy that day.

All he did was to stare at the television, without paying any attention, as he _still_ wore his sweaty pajamas (it came as a surprise to him that Toriel didn't call him out on it, though; she always did when it came to Sans... when Papyrus wasn't there to do it, of course). Everything was just... colored, blurred figures with useless talking. Or at least most TV shows he came across were that way.

On the other hand, at least his skull stopped aching. The pie and the golden flower tea did help, after all. Problem is that they made him feel sleepier and he didn't want to fall asleep in the middle of the day.

Papyrus blinked slowly, nearly passing out. He was _so_... _**tired**_...

His body started sinking into the couch and his eyesockets about to close...

... then footsteps approached.

"Papyrus, I will be gone for a little while." Toriel said. "I ought to buy some groceries."

Papyrus was able to raise his head to look at her, feeling bad. He wished he could join her, like he usually did, but he would most likely pass out at the market, and he couldn't even _concentrate_ right.

"OH, I'M- I'M SORRY..." He said. "I WISH I COULD GO WITH YOU-"

"It's alright, really. You need to rest." Toriel smiled sadly at him, patting his skull. "There's not much to buy, anyway."

Papyrus attempted to smile in return, but exhaustion prevented him. He didn't even have muscles, yet even a simple act such as _smiling_ tired him out.

"Is your skull better now, by the way?" Toriel asked.

Papyrus simply nodded in response, not saying a word.

"Good to know." She commented. Her smile became a little... happier, but concern was still subtle inside her reddish brown eyes.

Papyrus's gaze then met his feet, as he couldn't stand looking at her for much longer. Toriel's hand didn't leave his skull for a while. The touch of her soft, furry paw was... quite comforting, to say the least. She caressed his head very gently...

... it was making him **a lot** sleepier now...

"Well, I must leave now." Toriel said, finally. "I will be right back."

Papyrus nodded again, not looking at her. His gaze on his feet was... deep. Even though he wasn't _exactly_ staring at his feet. He heard a sigh coming from Toriel before she left. The noise of the door opening and then closing let him know he was finally alone at home.

The skeleton let out a deep sigh, pressing his hands into his eyesockets. He hated this. He hated all of this, he hated seeing his friends worrying about him that much, he hated lying to them, he hated _himself_ for feeling scared of something unreal-

What could he do? He knew he wouldn't be able to look at the others without saying anything for so long. He had no idea of how long he intended to keep this up. However, the skeleton _doubted_ that they would understand his situation.

After taking his hands off his face, Papyrus pondered as he moved his feet repeatedly, blinking his eyesockets slowly. He didn't know why this horrible imagery, the nightmare, those visions... felt like actual memories. As if he had once seen Frisk (or someone who looked  _very_ similar to them) acting that way, showing no mercy to anyone in their way... as if his friends had died by their hands...

As if...

... he had experienced _death_ before.

Although his visions hadn't ended with Frisk actually attacking him, he... he had this... eerie feeling of... of knowing, of **remembering** a sharp object slaughtering his bones like they were nothing.

Papyrus flinched by just... thinking about it. How was he supposed to remember this when it had never happened? Papyrus couldn't remember of a time he had been stabbed; either by a human or a monster. If it had happened, then he clearly would remember everything.

"I- I CAN'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS..." He said to himself, his eyesockets aiming at the ceiling.

"... WHAT IS _WRONG_ WITH ME?"

Unfortunately, no one had answers for his questions. Who _could_ help him, anyway?

Papyrus groaned, rubbing his eyesockets. He turned to the television in order to stay awake. All that was being aired were advertisements... some were even Mettaton's, but the skeleton was weary to the point of not squealing like he did whenever he saw his idol on TV. He blinked his eyes, very... slowly...

No, he must stay awake!

...

His eyesockets were nearly closing, his bones craved for the comfort of the couch and his skull sank into the sofa cushion... the amazing features of Mettaton in that commercial were nothing but unimportant blur, his angelical voice becoming insignificant noises...

...

...

No.

No, _no_!

He was **not** falling asleep!

He immediately opened his eyesockets forcefully, trying his hardest to concentrate on whatever was airing on TV. The pain in his skull returned due to his effort, but with much less force than before. Papyrus managed to ignore it.

He sat on the couch instead of lying on it, crossing his arms as he stared at the television. There were too many uninteresting advertisements on, which forced him to pick the remote and switch multiple channels again. It came as a surprise to him that the human television could be so... predictable. It had far more channels than back in the Underground, where the only star had been Mettaton and no one else, but how could it be so _tedious_ at times?

Papyrus, however, didn't give up just yet. There were literally five hundred channels; there _had_ to be something worth watching.

The skeleton didn't realize how long he pressed the "forward" button until he felt **drained**. Papyrus stopped, his hand unable to move due to how much energy he used. His head ached a little more, which made him frown and groan again. His vision became blurry and dark for a brief moment. Papyrus fought against his exhaustion, taking deep breaths.

Eventually, he got better. Not quite, though, as the ache in his skull was still there, but Papyrus wouldn't let it stop him from finding the perfect program!

Picking the remote once again, Papyrus decided to go easy on himself and switched channels calmly, trying to find something that would keep him awake.

Though... it was becoming useless. Either _he_ was the problem or the TV was too boring that day. Perhaps both things could be applied here...

Papyrus sighed very deeply, leaving the remote next to him. His journey through the various channels stopped by a... scientific program that had just returned from the commercials - "Great Mysteries of the Universe", a documentary Sans would occasionally watch. Papyrus had never seen an episode, though; he believed it would confuse him to no end. Not that he didn't enjoy science, as it had some interesting "puzzles" to be solved... but, as a whole, it was far too complex for him.

Before he could change the channel, the presenter (an old man) showed in the screen, standing in the middle of a dark room with a few lights iluminating him.

"Human SOULs are capable of persisting after death," The man explained. "This happens due to a natural power - the will to keep going, in spite of difficulties."

"This power is called Determination, which is naturally possessed by every single human. Although monsters have studied and researched in depth for decades, there are questions about it that are still pending in scientists' minds. But now that both human and monster scientists are researching together, the power of Determination, which has always been a mystery to both races, is showing its true nature.

"The amount of Determination in humans is not relatively that big, but even so, it is powerful enough to keep their SOULs from vanishing. Scientists now wonder: what if we increased its quantity in a SOUL? A few experiments were made, but unsuccessfully; experiments legally involving human subjects have not shown significant results." The man walked around the room. "There are not any known sources of a great quantity of Determination in Earth that could be used.

"However, there are several theories for, let's say, a 'super'-determined human being; a few scientists have theorized, though with lack of experiments, that this human could have the power of manipulating timelines.

"Now, how could this be possible? Basically, one of the definitions that explain Determination is ' _the resolve to change fate_ '. Furthermore, this could refer to the desire of an individual to alter the course of history. Therefore, a super-determined human would be able to either create timelines or end them whenever they wish to, similar to how we 'restart' the game after we lose our 'three lives'."

The TV showed an example of a videogame Papyrus couldn't remember. After the character died, a "GAME OVER" screen was shown, with the option to restart.

"This theory nearly has no support of most scientists, as it lacks proof and it is highly inaccurate in natural physics-wise. Nevertheless, the thought of a being having such power is... quite terrifying, to say the least."

Papyrus slightly frowned at such words.

...

Wait, _why_ was he so captivated by this documentary?

Though Papyrus didn't have time to think about the reason behind his unusual curiosity just yet. Instead, he leaned a little, nearly forgetting how tired he once was. The TV screen changed the image of the dark room to a shadowed figure, resembling a human with a... red SOUL.

"A human with the power of changing main events in history could indeed serve good for this world and prevent tragedies from happening, such as wars that dizimated countless victims."

The figure raised their arms, their SOUL rising above them. They formed... a kind smile.

"However..."

The screen turned black. Then, it showed the same shadowed figure, holding a sharp object aiming at another shadowed being, who attempted to run away from them.

"... it can also bring them to make horrifying acts."

A loud scream was heard, which made Papyrus immediately gasp and hug his own legs. A few seconds of silence passed, as the screen turned black once again.

"Not all humans are evil by nature," The image, thankfully, returned to the old man. "but it is arguable that, with such great power, they can become abusive and selfish, which leads them to make unforgivable choices. This could most likely change the timespace continuum permanently and, even though the super-determined human could 'reset' the timeline, their acts might still affect others they start.

"In case this theory is actually correct and proven to be real, then Determination can either bring life and kindness to the world, or absolute destruction and death."

Papyrus looked at the TV, slightly terrified. He was aware of humans being determined... yet... he had no idea how Determination had this... sort of potential.

Of course, it was all just a theory. There had been no experiments to prove it. However...

... it... kind of made sense, if you stopped to think about it.

But who would have so much Determination to get to the point of manipulating... timelines? To control everything, just like in a videogame?

And... how could a human be so _cruel_ to commit such a horrifying act against innocents?

...

Before Papyrus could think, he heard the door opening. He expected it to be Toriel, as she had told him she wouldn't be so late, but instead... it was Alphys and Undyne.

"Oh, h-hey Papyrus." Alphys said, smiling.

"H... HELLO."

As soon as Alphys closed the door, Undyne's smile faded once she actually saw him.

"What the-" She murmured, then raised her voice a little. "Papyrus, you've been here the _entire day_?"

"UM... I... I GUESS??" Papyrus simply shrugged. "I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE..."

Undyne frowned in disbelief. Alphys seemed surprised as well.

"You didn't even... take a shower." The fish lady murmured, incredulous.

"... SO?"

" _Paps_."

"WHAT? CAN'T I BE TIRED AS WELL? AM I NOT ALLOWED TO LIE ON THE COUCH AND WATCH TV FOR HOURS??"

Papyrus scoffed, as if Undyne's surprise was unnecessary. He chose to concentrate on the TV once again. "Great Mysteries of the Universe" was still airing, but Undyne stood right in front of the television, crossing her arms. Papyrus sighed and raised his head to look at her.

"UNDYNE-"

"Dude," She interrupted. "you're not just tired. You look _terrible_ -"

"BUT I _AM_ FINE!" Papyrus insisted. "IT'S TRUE, I-"

"Papyrus, really..." Undyne took a deep breath before she could explode again. Her face actually softened a little. "I- I just want to know what's going on."

"THERE'S NOTHING BOTHERING ME, UNDYNE."

"I know there is. The nightmare you had... what was it about?"

"Y-You had a nightmare?" Alphys asked.

"Y... YES, BUT- B-BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY SILLY! I CAME TO REALIZE I HAVE NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF!" Papyrus actually managed to smile, even though his body wasn't cooperating with him.

Alphys didn't seem convinced, Undyne even less. Papyrus lowered his head, gulping.

"Be honest with us, Papyrus." Undyne placed her hand on his shoulder. "We want to know what's eating you."

"... IT DOESN'T MATTER, REALLY."

"Papyrus-"

"O-OKAY, LOOK, UM," Papyrus stood up, just wanting to leave the room as soon as possible. "I- I'LL TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE TORIEL PREPARES DINNER."

He walked past the both of them without mentioning anything. Surprisingly enough, Undyne didn't grab him by the arm and pulled him back to the couch; instead, she just let him leave. However, he could still feel her and Alphys staring at him. Undyne groaned.

"Oh my _god_ , Pap." The fish lady said under her breath.

Papyrus sighed as he went upstairs.

* * *

He didn't know how much time had passed since he entered the shower. All Papyrus did was to stare deeply at the wall, the water "cooling down" his tormented head. It... it was... somehow comforting?

He only realized that he was taking too long when Undyne knocked on the door aggressively, startling him.

"PAPYRUS, LET ME USE THE DAMN BATHROOM ALREADY!!" Undyne screamed, making Papyrus slip and fall in the wet floor.

The skeleton groaned quietly, finally turning off the shower faucet. He grabbed his cool towel, then realizing he had forgotten to wash his battle body... well, it didn't really matter now. He hadn't used it the whole day, anyway.

Papyrus opened the door, nearly bumping into Undyne, who looked... very pissed. She didn't even say a word. The skeleton gulped and immediately walked to his room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

Frisk had arrived just before Toriel did. He didn't even... say hi to the small human, nor even... looked at them directly. Frisk didn't appear to care much about it, though. Or maybe they did, yet they preferred to not comment on it.

Sans didn't arrive as late as he usually did. With this, everyone had dinner together again. It... it wasn't that quiet like Papyrus had expected, though. There was still that uncomfortable feeling that filled the environment, thanks to Papyrus's behaviour, but at least some words were shared. The tall skeleton didn't speak much, though. Especially not when... Undyne pretty much stared at him the entire time. He felt very uneasy, but managed to not show it too much.

After all this, Papyrus went to his room once again, not even... saying good night to his friends. He sat on his bed and contemplated...

The same nerve-wracking questions were still there, in his mind, making him not want to sleep again. Not only this, but the documentary also made him feel... strange.

It felt like... there was a complexity in all of this - his visions, the possible power of Determination...

Why did he feel like it was all connected to one another?

Maybe the documentary could... explain something to him? Maybe it implied something he wasn't able to identify?

...

No- no, this all was just- it was way too confusing! It- It made no sense! It was all just a plain theory, there was... no actual proof and... ugh, why did he _believe_ in it? Though Determination was powerful indeed, no one could... have so much of it to the point of manipulating timelines and whatever!

... right?

...

Someone knocked on the door.

"papyrus?"

It was Sans.

"O-OH, HELLO, BROTHER!" Papyrus tried to sound normal.

"can i come in?"

"S... SURE." Papyrus said, uncertain.

Sans still opened the door, though. He... he had a weak grin on his face.

"hey, bro." He said.

Sans walked to his bed and stood in front of him. Papyrus played with his own hands, feeling nervous with his brother's presence.

"... pap, i- i'm going to be straight-forward with you..." Sans spoke, after minutes of uncomfortable silence passed. "undyne told me y... you had... a nightmare."

Papyrus knew he should be expecting this, yet... he didn't know why he genuinely felt surprised at Undyne telling Sans about his nightmares.

"... she also told me you had a panic attack earlier today, when she asked you about it." Sans continued. Papyrus's hands shook lightly and he attempted to hide it.

"IT... IT WAS NOTHING, REALLY."

"... nothing?" Sans spoke, not taking it seriously.

Papyrus nodded, regardless of being aware of his brother's disbelief. "YEAH. NOTHING. I WAS BEING SILLY, I DIDN'T HAVE ANY REASON TO BE SCARED!"

Sans sighed deeply, frowning a little.

"pap." He said, serious. "i know something's wrong, i'm not stupid."

"I KNOW YOU AREN'T, I'M NOT FOOLING YOU! I'M SERIOUS, IT DOESN'T MATTER-"

"yes, it does." Sans interrupted. "we can see it's affecting you."

"SANS-"

"do you think i'm just gonna stand here and watch you suffer like this? you really think your feelings don't matter?" Sans asked, sounding slightly angry... but not directly at him. No, actually, he sounded hurt rather than angry.

"it's not silly. i _know_ it isn't." Sans's hands reached Papyrus's shoulders.

"SANS..."

"c'mon bro, just- just tell me what's going on." Sans insisted. "i want to help you. really."

Papyrus... didn't even look at his brother.

For some... very strange reason, Sans's words... they sounded like dirty _lies_.

...

 ** _Do you think Sans actually loved you?_** The words of the "impostor" echoed inside his mind as he remembered those red eyes shining in a psycopathic expression.

_NO._

**_You are unloved._ **

_NO, S- STOP!_

**_No one would even care if you died._ **

_STOP IT!_

The impostor's laugh could be heard.

 _GO AWAY, GO AWAY, GO **AWAY** - _Papyrus insisted.

"papyrus-" Sans was about to say something, but...

"... LEAVE."

Sans was taken aback by such word.

"... _what_."

"I... I'M TIRED, SANS. PLEASE, I JUST WANT TO REST."

Papyrus pushed Sans's arms without force, frowning and staring at the floor. Sans stood there in disbelief.

" _papyrus_ -" He raised his voice a little.

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Papyrus raised his voice as well, immediately hiding his mouth with his hands.

Sans became quiet after getting snapped at. Instead of insisting, Sans left Papyrus's room, not even saying "good night" or giving him a smile. Papyrus groaned once he was gone, throwing himself on his bed.

"WHY MUST THIS BE SO DIFFICULT?" Papyrus asked himself. "W... WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? T-THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE..."

Everything was just... too complex for him.

...

Papyrus stared at the ceiling, his exhaustion suddenly... fading. His eyes were wide open, in contrast to how he had felt the entire day. He couldn't close his eyesockets and go to sleep. No matter how much he tried, they just... _wouldn't_.

Papyrus changed positions several times. He thought of things that made him happy. He even tried to count sheeps, like he did when he couldn't sleep...

...

But _none_ of that worked.

It was useless. He wanted to sleep, but he _couldn't_.

Because... he was afraid.

Afraid of seeing his friends die. Afraid of watching Frisk take their lives with no remorse. Afraid of letting them down.

...

_..._

Papyrus didn't sleep all night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing really relevant happened in this chapter, but hey, had to include some foreshadowing here ;)
> 
> Disclaimer: I have never written anything scientific (idk if it could even be considered scientific tbh-) before, so I'm sorry if it sucks or if it's confusing :/// I really hope the whole theory of Determination makes sense here, I had a hard time writing this thing lol


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely hope the characters aren't OOC. This chapter was a bit challenging to write...

"Howdy, Frisk!"

Frisk greeted the former King of Monsters with a wide smile, followed by a heartwarming hug. Toriel only stood there, not exactly knowing what to do; it was the first time everyone got to visit Asgore at all, months after the rupture of the Barrier. Papyrus didn't know many details regarding the tension between Asgore and Toriel, but it was relieving to see that the former Queen welcomed him with open arms now. It was mostly for Frisk, though (they had been the one to convince Toriel to go at Asgore's house, for that matter).

Undyne hugged both Asgore and Frisk tightly, who were nearly crushed. Despite this, they still smiled at the brute, yet happy fish lady. Alphys and Sans only waved at him, smiling. Papyrus looked at nowhere, distracted. He didn't actually... want to go out in the first place, but Toriel had persuaded him to join them. Besides, Papyrus... did enjoy Asgore's company, even though the two of them wouldn't talk very much.

Asgore approached the tall skeleton with his good old smile, after Undyne released him and Frisk from her grip. Papyrus finally returned to the real world.

"Oh, hello, Papyrus." He said.

"YOUR MAJESTY." Papyrus offered him a weak smile, blinking twice.

Once the former king looked at him better, however, the joy in his face came to fade a little.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked. "You seem... quite exhausted."

Papyrus rubbed his eyesockets, letting out a sigh. "JUST DIDN'T SLEEP VERY WELL, THAT'S ALL."

Asgore looked at the others with certain confusion. Toriel, Undyne and Alphys glanced at the skeleton with worry while Sans simply shrugged at the King, frowning a little when his pupils met Papyrus's empty eyesockets. Frisk looked at him with certain curiosity, mixed with another feeling Papyrus couldn't quite read.

"Well..." Asgore spoke, suspicious. "how about we all have some tea now?"

"That would be great." Toriel gave him a little smile.

The King seemed a little... surprised at that, as his eyes widened and he looked away after a few seconds. He cleared his throat and smiled nervously.

"Erm... v-very well then." He nodded, going inside. "Come in."

Papyrus had never gone to Asgore's home on the surface, so everything was new to him. The house was comfy and big, even though the goat man lived on his own. The colors of the house were light and warm. A few photographs could be seen hanging in the wall, others standing on the furniture.

Papyrus recognized Asgore and Toriel in one of them, together with a small, smiling goat, who was most likely their son (Toriel had once mentioned him, but she hadn't given Papyrus further details aside from his name... what was it again?) and... a human of the same height as him, wearing a green, striped sweater. Their face was covered by flowers, as they appeared to be embarrassed.

Papyrus stopped walking while the others headed to Asgore's kitchen, neither of them seeming to notice his interest in the photograph. The skeleton's gaze only focused on the mysterious human. He knew very little about the fallen humans before Frisk, but... he definitely wasn't aware that the Dreemurrs had... apparently  _adopted_  one? Not that they wouldn't do such a thing, considering that Toriel was Frisk's adoptive mother, yet... Papyrus had never heard of  _that_  human.

When did that happen? When-

"Papyrus?"

The skeleton shook his head, realizing that Asgore approached him.

"O-OH, MY APOLOGIES, I WAS JUST..." Papyrus cleaned his non-existent throat. "... L-LOOKING AROUND."

Asgore didn't seem very convinced, yet he didn't say anything. The skeleton glanced at the photograph that stood on the table in front of him.

"... W-WHO IS THIS?" Papyrus asked, pointing at the human in the photo.

The former king gazed at it, smiling sadly. His eyes didn't take off the photograph.

"They were the first human that fell into the Underground." Asgore answered, after seconds of silence. "Toriel and I took care of them as our own child... their name was Chara."

Papyrus gazed at the photo as well. If they were the first human, then...

"... WHAT... HAPPENED TO THEM?" Papyrus asked, curious.

Asgore lowered his head, appearing to be...  _devastated_. Something tragic must have happened to that little human...

"O-OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO." Papyrus said. "I-I'M SORRY, I-"

"No, no, it's... it's alright." Asgore assured. "Though... you really do not know... what happened, do you?"

"NO... I'M SURE NOBODY HAS EVER TOLD ME... ABOUT IT BEFORE."

Asgore let out a deep sigh, his hand taking the photo very carefully. He stared at with so much...  _grief_. Papyrus could feel his SOUL ache.

"It's a long story..." The former king said. "Chara had gotten sick and t-they... passed away. My son Asriel... he absorbed their SOUL in order to cross the Barrier. But...

"... he was murdered."

Papyrus's eyes widened, covering his mouth.

"O-OH MY GOODNESS..." The skeleton said quietly. "W-WAS HE MURDERED BY...?"

Asgore nodded, already knowing who Papyrus was talking about. The skeleton looked at the photograph again. How... how could someone kill a child? How could a human be so cruel to do such an atrocity against _an innocent child_? They couldn't be so...  _heartless_  like this... could they?

"I'M... I-I'M VERY SORRY." The spaghetti cooker said, his SOUL aching as he still gazed at Chara and Asriel. The thought of those poor children going through all this suffering... was awfully saddening.

"It's... alright. Past is in... the past."

Asgore put the photo back to where it belonged, yet he stood still. He tried taking deep breaths, which made it clear that he was nearly having a breakdown. Papyrus couldn't help feeling worse about all this. His hand hesitantly reached Asgore's back and patted it gently. He allowed the broken goat to let out his sorrow.

Papyrus didn't say anything for a couple of minutes. Eventually, Asgore got himself together, finally being able to breathe well.

"A-ARE YOU FEELING BETTER?" The tall skeleton asked.

"... yes." Asgore answered quietly. He looked at Papyrus, smiling sadly at him. His face... was slightly wet.

"Thank you." He said.

Papyrus only smiled weakly in return. Asgore dried his tears, sniffling.

"I'm sorry, I know it... has been so long, yet..." The goat said, sighing and appearing to be ashamed.

"IT'S FINE, REALLY... I UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT MUST BE."

He really did. The feeling of watching someone you love die... by the hands of a human... Papyrus understood completely. Even though... his nightmares and hallucinations made no sense, that feeling... was quite familiar to him.

"Now," Asgore said. "let's go have some tea, shall we?"

Papyrus nodded, nearly forgetting about the tea. The two monsters headed to the kitchen, though Papyrus did give the photo one last glance...

As they arrived at the kitchen, they saw everyone waiting for them to return. They were apparently talking about something specific, as they were whispering.

"Oh, there you are!" Undyne said, interrupting her conversation with Toriel. "Where were you?"

"WELL, UM..."

"Sorry for the hold up, he was just looking around." Asgore explained with a smile on his face. "He's new to my home, he was curious to know all about the photographs and all that."

"YES, YES, THAT'S ALL." Papyrus attempted to smile as well.

The skeleton sat beside Toriel, at the left corner of the table. Asgore headed to the counter in order to prepare the tea. Toriel stood up to help him while the others remained at the table. Asgore seemed a little nervous with his ex-wife next to him, which caused Undyne to smirk at them. The fish lady then started a conversation with Alphys, Frisk eventually joining them. The skeleton brothers were left out, extremely silent.

Papyrus couldn't help feeling tense with the stare his brother gave him. The two hadn't shared a word since last night. Papyrus speculated that Sans was most likely mad at him. He did deserve this... though he honestly  _hated_ that Sans wouldn't take his eyes off him. Not that he could blame him, anyway.

Fortunately, it didn't take long for the tea to be ready. Asgore handed Papyrus a cup, smiling. The tall skeleton took a sip... it was amazing. Then, again, Papyrus doubted there was anyone better than Asgore, Toriel and Undyne to prepare some good tea.

Toriel and Asgore sat next to each other, with Papyrus sitting next to the former queen. The two of them appeared to be nervous, but they eventually grew comfortable with each other's company. Asgore seemed less shy, as he interacted more.

Everyone seemed happy; even Sans appeared to have lost focus on his brother (thankfully).

In contrast, Papyrus only stood there, not smiling, not... reacting at all. He tried to be attentive, but it was useless. He couldn't make it to what his friends were saying anymore. The conversation was meaningless to him. He held the cup of tea, without even drinking it. It must have gotten cold after some time. Though he honestly... didn't even care about it.

Papyrus glanced at Frisk a couple of times. They didn't appear to notice, as they were busy laughing.

He didn't understand.

He couldn't understand.

Why were his hallucinations trying to warn him that his human best friend was cold and heartless?

Why... why was  _everything_  giving him this message?

His awful nightmare, the documentary... the fact that humans had murdered the king's son...

He couldn't understand anything anymore.

**_You keep believing that I am this innocent, loving friend, even though I killed everyone you love... I can't believe you are so easily tricked by people._ **

His grip on the cup was so strong, he could even... shatter it, as if it meant nothing.

**_I KNOW FRISK, THEY WOULD NEVER HARM US!_ **

He didn't feel like he was even there. He felt like he was in that empty, lifeless void again.

**_You're such an IDIOT._ **

**_You believe in others so much that you don't realize how much they actually hate you. _ **

That horrifying laugh could be heard in the background.

 _PLEASE, STOP._ He begged to... nothing.

**_WHY... WHY I-IS THIS HAPPENING...?_ **

**_I... I-I DON'T... U-U-UNDERSTAND..._ **

Although Papyrus had no lungs, he panted so furiously that his chest ached. It felt like it would explode at any minute.

**_I WANT THIS TO STOP..._ **

The laughing became louder. He could also hear Toriel's heartbroken, painful voice in the middle of all that mess.

**_You... really hate me that much?_ **

**_just... don't say i didn't warn you._** Sans also spoke, breathless.

**_This is all just a game._ **

**_You never mattered to me, either._ **

Sweating. Panting. The sound of loud heartbeats. His friends' dust in Papyrus's hands. The red eyes of psycopathy. The smile. "Frisk" laughing, over and over, and  _over_ -

He couldn't scream. He couldn't cry. All he wanted was this to be over, but nothing seemed to get better, there was no point-

**_You are FORGETTABLE._ **

**_FORGETTABLE_ **

**_FORGETTABLE_ **

**_FORGETTABLE_ **

**_ FORGETTABLE _ **

 

Something touched his shoulder.

"Papyrus-?"

Papyrus gasped and stood up, pushing the chair so roughly, its sound echoed all over the kitchen, silencing everyone present. The skeleton panted, looking around in fear. His friends stared at him with shock and confusion, as well as worry.

Nothing was dark. Everyone was there, everyone was okay, they were all just drinking tea and being happy, and Papyrus ruined the moment yet  _again_  and-

"Papyrus, what- what's wrong?" Toriel asked calmly, despite looking startled as well.

The skeleton took some time to even say anything. He tried to adjust to the reality he was inserted in, to assure himself that everyone was fine and he was fine, none of this was his fault, no human would ever harm them, nothing bad was going to happen and-

"Please, s-say something-"

"I," Papyrus spoke, his voice shaky. "I NEED- I-I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM."

He gulped, looking at his feet. He then left the kitchen as fast as he could, heading upstairs. He had no idea where Asgore's bathroom was, but he didn't care, he just didn't want to be there anymore, he was so confused, so-

Papyrus stopped in the hall, closing his eyes.

 _CALM DOWN._ He thought.  _EVERYTHING IS FINE, THEY'RE FINE- Y-YOU ARE FINE, THERE'S NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF._

He still panted, the bad feeling in his spine remaining strong.

"BREATHE." He told himself. "JUST... BREATHE..."

Papyrus counted to three, breathing very slowly.

 _IT'S FINE. IT'S OKAY._ He insisted.

Time passed. He was able to at least breathe normally. The bad feeling was still there, but he was able to control most of it.

He opened his eyes. The hall was slightly darker than the rest of the house. There were golden flowers all over the hall, some taller than the others. Papyrus admitted to being a little surprised at the fact that Asgore kept even more flowers than Toriel did in her house.

It reminded him... of an old friend of his. Someone he hadn't... seen in a long time.

What was his name again? Flowery?

Papyrus hadn't seen him in so long... he wondered where he was now.

...

**Please, listen to me!**

That voice... was quite familiar.

Papyrus looked around. One of the golden flowers had a face.

... Flowery-?

No,  _Flowey_?

What... what was he even doing at Asgore's house? Did he come by to pay a visit? Did he miss his skeleton friend? Papyrus would have been happy to see him, but...

... he realized that Flowey was  _crying_.

He was  **shaking**.

"F-FLOWEY?" Papyrus called. "WHAT- WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE-?"

 **You have to do something!** Flowey begged.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT HAPPENED?!" Papyrus asked, utterly confused.

**T-That- that creature, that _monster_ , it's- it's coming for you!**

What was he talking about? Papyrus... had never seen Flowey so  _frightened_  like this before. What had caused so much distress?

"F-FLOWEY, CALM DOWN! PLEASE, JUST- JUST TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON, I-!"

Flowey looked behind him, his eyes widening. He even let out a gasp and shrank, tears falling.

 **T-They're right behind you!** The terrified golden flower warned, disappearing into the vase.

Papyrus turned around. Steps could be heard. It was approaching and their noise became louder and-

"W-WHO IS THERE?!" The skeleton asked.

He looked behind him. Where was Flowey? What had he warned him about?  _What was going on_?!

Papyrus stepped back.

"S-STAY BACK!" The skeleton ordered.

He didn't know what was coming for him. According to Flowey, it... it was a  _monster_. But in the way he had spoken, it... it seemed like it was a  _different_  type of monster.

Nothing was good about this.

The creature came out of the shadows. Papyrus braced himself for who-  _whatever_  was there. He felt his eyesockets wetting in fear.

"P-PLEASE, DON'T HURT ME!" The skeleton pleaded, sobbing.

"Woah, woah! Papyrus-"

He felt two strong, yet soft and fluffy hands grabbing his shoulders firmly. Papyrus refused to open his eyes, yet... he could hear a familiar, deep voice trying to soothe him.

"Papyrus, it- it's me, Asgore! Y-Your friend!"

Asgore?

Flowey... couldn't possibly be talking about him. Asgore wasn't dangerous. He was... a  _normal_  monster.

"You are alright, I- I swear, everything is fine." The former king assured. "Can- can you hear me?"

Papyrus faced the tall goat, who appeared to be startled. The skeleton panted slowly, feeling his skull aching a little.

"Y-YOUR MAJESTY...?" He said, awfully perplexed.

"Papyrus, friend... what is the matter? W-Who were you talking to?"

Papyrus looked behind again. Flowey didn't seem to return any soon.

"... N... NOBODY." He lied.

Asgore's paws didn't leave his shoulders for a long time. It... it was actually comforting, though. It made Papyrus feel safe again.

"What is troubling you?" He asked, serious. "You look... so frightened, so..."

Papyrus looked down. He... he had absolutely no idea how he could... explain everything. He looked behind Asgore to check if anyone else was coming. He sighed very deeply.

"I DON'T... DON'T KNOW..." The skeleton said quietly. "I-I REALLY... DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME."

It wasn't a lie. Papyrus really didn't know why all that was happening to him.

"What do you mean?" Asgore asked.

Papyrus refused to look at him, choosing to remain silent.

"Papyrus... come on, let me help you." Asgore insisted. "Could you at least try explaining what... you are feeling, or... anything?"

The tall skeleton felt a tear falling from his eye. He dried it with his shaking hand.

"IT'S... I-IT'S VERY COMPLICATED." Papyrus admitted, sighing. "I-I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EVEN... EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON."

Asgore released him from his grip, gazing at him with worry. The skeleton rubbed his own arm.

"I JUST... I H-HAVE THIS... V-V-VERY BAD FEELING." Papyrus admitted.

"What feeling?"

Papyrus hugged himself, becoming tense.

"I... I-I JUST... UGH, I DON'T KNOW!" The skeleton suddenly raised his voice, sniffling violently. "I D-DON'T KNOW WHAT IS  _WRONG_  WITH ME! I'M S-S-SUCH A MESS, I KEEP  _RUINING_  EVERYTHING, I KEEP-"

"Papyrus, Papyrus- s-slow down, please." Asgore said calmly.

"I-I CAN'T! I... I  _CAN'T_..."

Papyrus cried. He couldn't hold this anymore. He was so tired, so confused...

"Papyrus..." Asgore spoke painfully.

"I'M SORRY..." The skeleton sobbed. "I-I RUINED IT ALL AGAIN, DIDN'T I...?"

"Oh no, you didn't. You clearly didn't."

Asgore's paw reached his shoulder again. Papyrus sniffled again, the tears wetting his whole face.

"Papyrus, it's alright..." The former king assured. "there's no need to be so hard on yourself...

"Hey, now, look at me."

Papyrus looked up. Asgore smiled very sadly.

"You can trust me, Papyrus." He assured. "I only want to help you."

The skeleton dried his tears, not sobbing anymore. Asgore waited patiently for him to calm down. Papyrus was actually thankful for this.

"Now... what is... this 'feeling' you have?" The goat asked.

Papyrus breathed deeply. The hall was so silent, he was afraid of... that  _thing_  Flowey warned him about coming for them both.

"I... I CAN'T... QUITE EXPLAIN..." He admitted. "IT'S..."

Asgore waited.

"I... I KEEP THINKING THAT..." Papyrus began. "T-THAT... E-EVERYTHING IS... TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING."

Asgore raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by... everything?"

"L-LITERALLY EVERYTHING. I-IT FEELS LIKE REALITY IS... TRYING TO WARN ME ABOUT SOMETHING... S-SOMETHING ABOUT... SOMEONE IN... PARTICULAR, A-AND... I-I DON'T KNOW, I... I H-HAVE THIS EERIE FEELING THAT... THAT SOMEONE I KNOW IS NOT... WHO THEY SEEM, AND THAT... T-THEY KEEP A DARK,  _NASTY_  SECRET FROM ME... F-FROM EVERYONE..."

Papyrus didn't exactly know what he was saying. Everything that came out from his mouth was merely his feelings. Asgore seemed a little shocked about everything he said, which was to be expected.

"Who are you... suspecting?" Asgore asked.

Papyrus lowered his head. "I..."

He remembered that false version of Frisk smiling at him, killing all his friends, saying those horrible words... He remembered Sans leaking ketchup and panting, he remembered Undyne smiling despite losing her life, he remembered Toriel laughing so painfully...

...

"... I-I CAN'T."

"Huh?"

"I-I CAN'T TELL YOU."

Asgore seemed to have been taken aback.

"... Why not?" He asked.

Papyrus clenched his fists.

"... YOU CAN'T HELP ME." He spoke quietly.

"What?"

"YOU  _CAN'T_  HELP ME." Papyrus raised his voice, sounding furious for a moment. Not at Asgore, though. He didn't have a reason, anyway.

Asgore seemed more confused than ever.

"W-Why not?" He asked.

"Y-YOU JUST CAN'T." Papyrus insisted.

"Papyrus, come on,  _why_?"

 _BECAUSE I HAVE TO PROTECT YOU._ Papyrus wanted to say.

But protect from  _who_?

...

He didn't know. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was for his friends to be safe. Because he knew that, whoever he was afraid of, whoever could possibly harm his friends... he knew that he must always be there and protect everyone.

He just had this feeling. And he wouldn't let his guard down.

Even if it meant... hiding everything from them.

"Papyrus?" Asgore called.

"... Y-YOU WOULDN'T... UNDERSTAND. THIS IS SOMETHING I MUST FIGHT AGAINST ON MY OWN."

"Papyrus, y- you don't have to be alone in this. We are all here for you."

Papyrus refused to listen to that. He couldn't put them in danger. Besides, they really  _couldn't_  do anything for him.

"I'M SORRY," The skeleton said firmly. "I WON'T TELL YOU."

Asgore sighed deeply. "Please, don't do this... you can't just-"

"W... W-WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?" Papyrus interrupted.

Asgore frowned. "Papyrus-"

" _JUST_ -" Papyrus nearly snapped, but immediately contained himself. "JUST... SHOW ME WHERE IT IS. I NEED... SOME TIME..."

The goat was about to protest, but the skeleton stared at him, quietly begging him to let him go. Papyrus couldn't tell him, all he needed was to be alone, or else his friends would ask him even more questions and he would become stressed all over again. He had already ruined the tea time, he needed to be away from them for some time.

Asgore gave up. He sighed again.

"Alright... it's at the end of the corridor, on the left." He pointed at one of the last doors.

Papyrus turned around. "THANK YOU."

Though, before he walked away...

"... DON'T TELL THEM." He pleaded quietly.

Asgore became quiet for a moment.

"But Papyrus..." He said.

"PLEASE... PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING."

"This isn't right, Papyrus!" Asgore said. "You can't just-!"

"JUST DO THIS FOR ME!" Papyrus snapped. "I AM ALREADY TRYING TO DO THE BEST FOR YOU!"

He turned to Asgore, who was shocked at the skeleton's aggressive behaviour. Papyrus didn't even think of apologizing.

"YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW HOW IT IS TO PROTECT THE ONES YOU LOVE FROM A THREAT!" He said. "I KNOW YOU WERE ALSO FORCED TO MAKE ROUGH DECISIONS! I- I'M BEGGING YOU. I'M ONLY... TRYING TO PROTECT YOU GUYS."

Asgore's face softened to an expression of pain. He then lowered his head. Papyrus's words must have affected him deeply.

He hated to make him feel worse than before. Asgore already suffered from grief, and making him feel regretful of previous choices he had made...

"DON'T TELL THEM." Papyrus asked again. " _PLEASE_."

He turned around, finally making his way to the bathroom. Asgore only stood there, unsure of what he should do next.


	7. Chapter 7

About twenty minutes had passed... Papyrus couldn't really tell as he had forgotten his cellphone at home, and only then he realized. He knew he shouldn't stay in there any longer, considering that it wasn't even _his_ bathroom, but he couldn't go back downstairs in that state, either.

All the skeleton did was to sit on the closed toilet and simply... attempt to **breathe**. Even though the sound of Flowey's frightened voice _begging_ for help, aside from the unsettling feeling that... that _someone_ was watching him, creeped him out, sending shivers down to Papyrus's spine.

 _IT'S OKAY, EVERYTHING IS OKAY, IT- IT WAS **NOT** REAL, _ he insisted to himself, though, at the same time, feeling that he was lying to himself. Somehow.

Papyrus stood up, washing his face so he could actually wake up to reality. As he met his own reflection, he found himself... surprised, as only at that moment that he could identify the _exhaustion_ in his expression.

There were _bags_ under his eyes and he wasn't even supposed to have them; he was a skeleton! Not only that, but Papyrus couldn't bring himself to genuinely smile in the past days.

He knew he shouldn't be... that shocked, as his friends never seemed to believe in his lies, yet... he didn't want to let his fear _that_ obvious. He didn't want to let anyone know what he was feeling.

Papyrus let out a groan. It would be a lot easier if he were... great at hiding his problems. He _was_ the Great Papyrus, yet he was aware that he wouldn't be very great at some skills... such as lying.

He then sighed, sitting again on the toilet. He pressed his hands against his face, desiring to cry, but not shedding a single tear.

And not only his bones still rattled out of fear, but he felt something... _weighing_ on his shoulders, nearly **crushing** them.

Guilt. Guilt was taking control over him.

He continuously lied to his friends and himself. He hid everything inside him, which was extremely close to breaking him. He had snapped at Undyne, Toriel, his brother, Asgore... he had made the former king suffer with the consequences of his previous choices he never meant to make, even though Papyrus knew that Asgore's situation was  _nothing_  compared to his. The goat had been the **king** of the entire Underground, it wasn't like Papyrus even  _knew_ how it was to be a king; why did he have the feeling that he knew the regret, the actual pain to have such great burden?

He was hurting everyone. But _god_ \- he couldn't tell them.

Nobody would believe in him. Neither could he, this time.

Frisk would never... kill an innocent monster.

...

Why... why was he doing this to himself?

Why was his own mind showing him these awful visions?

Why was reality trying to warn him about Frisk?

Why?

_W h y ?_

...

Papyrus was lost. Lost in the middle of a prison, unsure of what he should do, unsure whether he should cry for help or stay quiet and find a solution to escape, without letting anyone get hurt...

Part of him told himself that there was something very... very complex about all this. It was like a great, nearly impossible... puzzle to be solved.

On the other hand, another part of him managed to avoid everything and told him that he was... becoming insane over unreal, silly visions, which... actually  _weren't_ silly at all.

Which one should he listen to?

...

 _MAYBE... MAYBE I'M JUST OVERREACTING. I... I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME, BUT- BUT MAYBE I'M THE ONE BEING LUNATIC AND PERHAPS... IT MIGHT ALL BE JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING?_ He thought.

Papyrus didn't want to believe it was all true because... none of it made sense.

But it... it also MADE sense!

...

...

Papyrus... no longer wanted to question this anymore.

 _URGH, GET OVER IT ALREADY!!_ He thought, finally.  _I'M... I'M HURTING EVERYONE BECAUSE OF THESE HALLUCINATIONS... IT'S TIME TO STOP FOR ONCE AND FOR GOOD!_ _I MAY NOT... KNOW WHY I AM ACTING THIS WAY, BUT I AM SURE THAT NONE OF THIS IS REAL. FRISK IS MY FRIEND... THEY WOULD NEVER HURT ME OR ANYONE ELSE! WHY... WHY CAN'T I SEEM TO **UNDERSTAND** THAT?_

He unfortunately didn't have an answer for that. But... still! He shouldn't let himself believe in such visions - he was the Great Papyrus! Some stupid vision shall not come as troubling to him!

Papyrus finally felt hope arise in the middle of his messy mind. Everything was going to be alright, he thought to himself.

... hopefully.

The skeleton stood up once again, taking a deep breath before opening the bathroom door. The corridor, as he expected, was empty. Papyrus... formed a weak, yet... genuine smile.

"EVERYTHING IS FINE," He said to himself, proudly.

As Papyrus headed to the stairs, he found himself staring at the golden flowers. He... even made sure none of them had actual faces. He shook his head once he realized.

"IT'S FINE," He insisted, sighing deeply.

When he finally reached the stairs, he heard... a very familiar voice speaking behind him.

**I'd be careful with that human, Papyrus.**

Papyrus glanced at one of the flowers, seeing Flowey. He no longer cried nor sounded afraid, yet... he frowned and sounded very serious, which clearly bothered the tall skeleton.

 **They may not be who they appear to be.** The flower warned.

Papyrus shook his head again, not seeing Flowey anymore, instead just a regular golden flower. He then continued his way to the kitchen, though... he stopped in the middle of the way once he heard the mention of his name.

"How long has Papyrus been acting this way?" Asgore asked.

"A couple of days now..." Toriel answered, sighing. "I am very worried about him. He... doesn't tell us anything."

"Yeah, we have no idea what's going on with him." Undyne commented, defeated.

Asgore sighed as well. "Isn't there... anything we can do?"

"I am trying to make him feel comfortable sharing his problems with us, but..." Toriel replied. "... he seems to be getting worse. He is way more unfocused now and... he always avoids talking about whatever is troubling him."

"H-He always seem... s-scared of something." Alphys added.

Papyrus slowly reached the kitchen, hiding so that his friends didn't see him. He hated hearing others' conversation, yet it... it was about _him_.

The weight on his shoulders became heavier.

"You know," Asgore said, after seconds of silence passed. "I don't think Papyrus is afraid of... of something, but... he might be fearing...  _someone_."

Papyrus's eyes widened.

"What?" Undyne said.

Papyrus caught a glimpse of his friends; they all looked shocked at this revelation.

"w- what makes you think that?" Sans asked. "did... did he say something to you after he panicked?"

"You see-"

"I'M BACK!!"

Papyrus showed up in impulse, afraid of the conversation going any further. He panted and sweated, though keeping a strained smile on his face.

"SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY," The skeleton apologized, pretending he wasn't desperate. "I ENDED UP STAYING IN THE BATHROOM FAR TOO LONG! I'M ALRIGHT NOW, THOUGH! MY APOLOGIES, YOUR MAJESTY."

Asgore seemed a bit startled at Papyrus's sudden arrival, as he took some time to say anything.

"It's... it's alright, Papyrus." The former king said with a little smile.

Papyrus kept the smile on his face as everyone stared at him in silence. It became more strained as time passed.

"WELL," The tall skeleton gulped, sitting on the empty chair he had once sat. "I SUPPOSE MY TEA IS... FREEZING COLD NOW."

"I can make you some other tea, if you like." Asgore offered.

"IF THAT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU..."

"Of course not, I insist."

Papyrus nodded, giving the cold cup of tea to Asgore, who then headed to the counter. The former glanced at the others, then playing with his own hands nervously. Part of his smile disappeared as he felt the stares his friends gave. Luckily, only a few minutes passed before Asgore handed him the cup. Papyrus drank the tea without any interruptions.

The cheerful environment that had once been there ended up... dying, despite Asgore's attempts to initiate another conversation. Only Toriel actually helped him with that, but nobody else cooperated. They all looked at Papyrus with worry, which... wasn't anything new.

However, Frisk's expression was the one that... bothered him the most.

The reason behind it was that Papyrus couldn't read it. He couldn't identify the actual feelings behind it - whether it was worry, guilt, or... something else, perhaps even... fear.

The skeleton had the eerie feeling that... Frisk might know... something about what was going on with him.

...

**_I'd be careful with that human, Papyrus._ **

Papyrus suddenly heard... that creepy laugh again. The same smile and the red eyes popped in Frisk's face for a moment.

_**They may not be who they appear to be** _

_ **They may not be who they appear to be** _

The skeleton only drank his tea, not mentioning anything and avoiding Frisk's stare at all costs.

* * *

At around 7:00 PM, his friends were ready to go home, as they all had to work (or go to school, in Frisk's case) in the following day.

"It was nice having you all here today." Asgore said with a smile. "We should definitely do this more often."

"YEAH! And we should totally watch some anime next time!!" Undyne suggested eagerly.

"That sounds wonderful." Asgore chuckled.

Both Toriel and Asgore smiled at Undyne's comment, then at... each other. Even though the environment was uncomfortable thanks to Papyrus's behaviour, at least the two of them were enjoying each other's company. The skeleton was somehow relieved.

Undyne raised an eyebrow at the scene between the former couple, but then she hugged Asgore tightly.

"See ya, Fluffybuns!" She said.

"Heh, see you, Undyne." Asgore spoke weakly, as he was squished... he still smiled, though.

"Good night, Asgore." Toriel said kindly, as Undyne released him.

"Good night, Tori."

Asgore's face then became... unusually red for a moment.

"I-I mean, Toriel." He corrected.

Undyne smirked at him, which made him feel more embarrassed than ever. Toriel didn't seem to mind, though; instead, she only gave him a smile.

After Frisk hugged Asgore and Alphys and Sans said goodbye to him, they all walked away...

... until Papyrus felt a big hand on his shoulder.

"Papyrus."

The tall skeleton turned around, facing the former king, whose smile faded.

"I-I'M SORRY FOR WHAT HAPPENED EARLIER," Papyrus immediately apologized, remembering he had snapped at him. "I-I DIDN'T MEAN TO-"

"No, no, do not apologize." Asgore interrupted. "I... I know you must have... overheard the conversation at the kitchen, and..."

Papyrus admitted to being a little startled at the fact that Asgore knew he had heard all that... even though he shouldn't be surprised at all.

"I know you told me not to... say anything, but I just... I want to help you, Papyrus." Asgore continued. "We all do. I understand that you want to protect us, but you- you shouldn't go through this on your own."

Papyrus lowered his head, feeling that same weight on his shoulders again.

"Y... YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT IT, I... I CAN SOLVE IT BY MYSELF." He assured.

Asgore sighed deeply. "I... I don't think so. You seem very frightened of that... someone, not to mention that... you were screaming for your life when I arrived at the corridor earlier. I _know_ it's a serious issue to be solved."

Both of his big hands were placed on Papyrus's shoulders.

"Look, if... if you ever need to talk, I'm... I'm always here, alright?" Asgore said. "You can come to me anytime you want."

Papyrus knew he wouldn't ever go to Asgore to talk about everything that was going on... yet he still nodded, just to calm Asgore a little.

"T... THANK YOU." The skeleton said quietly.

"Take care." The goat said.

Papyrus only offered him a weak smile in return before he walked away. As he found his friends not too far, he noticed that Sans had stopped walking and glanced at him and Asgore, but he quickly reached the others once Papyrus caught him.

As their house wasn't too far, they walked all the way. Realizing this, the tall skeleton stayed behind his friends, not rushing himself to reach them and letting out a deep sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter was relatively shorter than the others but fear not... there's more to come. *insert Flowey's evil laugh*
> 
> By the way, I would like you guys to let me know about any writing mistakes; I know my english isn't perfect and I wish to improve it.


	8. Chapter 8

It was yet another sleepless night for Papyrus. The skeleton, however, didn't exactly try to sleep, at least after rough hours of changing positions in his bed as Flowey's words replayed in his mind a thousand times, along with the image of Frisk behaving in that psycopathic way haunting him. It didn't help that guilt weighed on his entire body instead of his shoulders.

Though, at the same time, he couldn't stop wondering if telling Asgore the truth would have... actually changed something. Obviously, the goat would most likely tell everyone else and they might put Papyrus in the  _asylum_ , because he was going nuts! Frisk had freed the entire monster race from despair and  _never_  had any monster met such a kind, friendly child in the thousands of years everyone had been imprisoned underground.

Maybe Papyrus was insane indeed. But...

... part of him  **knew**  he wasn't.

He didn't  _want_  to believe himself because none of it made sense.

But... something was telling him that he  _should_ listen to himself.

...

 _I WILL NEVER DOUBT FRISK! PAPYRUS, STOP DOING THIS!!_ He ordered... to himself.

...

The tall skeleton groaned quietly, staring at the ceiling. Papyrus couldn't get himself to sleep and, honestly, he was sick of forcing himself to shut his eyes. Instead, he would just... let the night pass.

He turned around to face his bedside table, the photo of him and his friends was turned to his direction. Papyrus sighed sadly at the sight of Frisk and him smiling...

... until he noticed there was something... _wrong_ with the picture.

Frisk smiled creepily, their eyes had that same tone of red; and, for some reason... Papyrus and the others were all crossed out, with a big, red X.

"W... WHAT-?"

_**You're such an IDIOT** _

_**You trust them so much that you never see the truth behind them** _

"NO," Papyrus shook his head, closing his eyes. "N-NOT _AGAIN_ -"

**_This is all just a game_ **

**_You don't realize how much they actually hate you_ **

"STOP," Papyrus pleaded quietly. " **PLEASE** -"

 _That_ horrifying laugh was distant, yet Papyrus could hear it getting louder and louder, _and louder_ -

_**They may not be who they appear to be** _

"STOP!" Papyrus spoke a bit louder.

**_don't say i didn't warn you_ **

He ended up opening his eyes again and-

God, Frisk looked...

**_d o n ' t  s a y  i  d i d n ' t  w a r n  y o u_ **

Their face... it was...  _melting_...

And- And it was  ** _moving_** -!

Papyrus let out a loud gasp, throwing the photo frame away. The sound of the breaking glass was loud, but not as loud as the voices speaking inside of his mind. He panted and stared at the thrown object, being able to see the broken shards lying all over the floor. He tried to stay as distant as possible, his back nearly colliding with the wall.

His vision became blurry and... everything around him was spinning, and... and...

... he heard strange noises coming from his door.

No, they weren't mere noises... it... it was a voice.

And there were... knocks on the door.

"papyrus? pap, what- what happened?"

It was... his brother. Papyrus actually took some time to recognize his voice, as he was too shaken by the image he had seen.

"bro? papyrus, you okay?" Sans asked, sounding worried.

"IT'S- IT'S FINE, SANS, I J-JUST- I HAD A L-LITTLE ACCIDENT HERE, N-NOTHING... SERIOUS."

Papyrus went to gather all the broken pieces of glass that spread all over the floor.

"OH, _NUTS_ ," Papyrus muttered under his breath.

"papyrus-"

"WAIT, J-JUST A SECOND-!"

Papyrus ran to the door before Sans could enter the room. He opened it and tried to wear his best smile, despite his vision not getting much better. He was still able to recognize his brother, though.

"H-HELLO, SANS." He greeted Sans awkwardly. "ERM... S-SORRY FOR WAKING YOU UP-"

"nah, it's cool. i was heading downstairs to get a snack, but i heard a noise and..."

"A-ABOUT THAT, I... I K-KIND OF DROPPED S-SOMETHING."

If Sans had eyebrows, he would be raising one.

"uh, i- i'm pretty sure it _didn't_ sound like it was dropped-"

"B-BUT IT WAS, ANYWAY, SO, UM... GOOD NIGHT!" Papyrus would have closed the door in his brother's face, but Sans was quick to stop it with his foot.

"hold the phone." Sans said, frowning a little as he faced Papyrus again.

"W-WHAT IS IT?"

Sans analyzed him for a moment. Papyrus looked around nervously, wondering if he had woken anyone else up. The other rooms were considerably far from his own, though and the walls weren't thin, as far as he was concerned.

"bro," Sans said. "did you have a nightmare again? you look... scared."

"NO, NO!" Papyrus scoffed, then feeling himself become smaller. "WELL, NOT... QUITE. I-IT WAS NOTHING, THOUGH."

Sans sighed deeply.

"papyrus," He said seriously. "why won't you tell me what's going on?"

"IT'S... NOTHING YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT." Papyrus looked behind him, glancing at the broken photograph and... remembering Frisk's melted face. He shivered inside.

"yes, it _is_." Sans grabbed Papyrus's arms, drawing his attention again. "something is going on, and yet you refuse to say **anything**."

Papyrus was actually surprised at his brother's tone, even though he shouldn't really be, considering he had been lying to him this whole time. Sans hadn't even been the first person he opened up to, it had been Asgore instead.

"SANS-"

"you talked to asgore earlier today," Sans said. "what did you tell him?"

Papyrus simply stared at his brother in silence, suddenly feeling more tense than before.

" _papyrus_ , talk to me." Sans's tone became... slightly  _angrier_. He didn't seem angry at Papyrus, though; he was more worried than anything.

The tall skeleton stood still while Sans waited for an explanation. He didn't breathe calmly, instead he... seemed tense as well.

"... I CAN'T TELL YOU, SANS." Papyrus muttered.

"what?"

"I CAN'T. TELL YOU."

Papyrus pulled Sans's hands away, escaping from his brother's tight grip.

"i- seriously? you _can't_ tell me?" The short skeleton asked, incredulous.

Papyrus shook his head, looking away.

"i can't believe this." Sans started laughing, seeing that his brother wouldn't respond.

The tall skeleton glanced at him. Despite laughing, he looked... pissed.

"you can tell asgore," Sans continued. "but you can't tell _me_?"

Papyrus flinched at his tone, shivering for a moment.

"god, i'm-" Sans tried hard to keep it cool. "i'm your **brother**."

"... SO WHAT?" Papyrus muttered, though not actually expecting his brother to hear it.

"'so what'? are- are you kidding me?"

"... I WON'T TELL YOU." Papyrus said. "I... I REALLY CAN'T."

Sans looked rather shocked, not believing the words his brother was just telling him.

" _goddammit_ -" He muttered under his breath. "stop with this bullshit already! i hate seeing you like this!"

"I KNOW, BUT-"

" _stop_." Sans interrupted. "i'm getting really sick of this."

"SANS-!"

"tell me what the hell is happening to you," Sans's voice... deepened. "right. **now**."

Papyrus looked away, feeling a little intimidated by his own brother.

"... WHY DO YOU CARE?" He mumbled.

" _what_?"

Papyrus didn't even think twice before saying that. He knew his brother would become a _lot_ angrier. But Papyrus... he was so **tired** of this. Of everything. He wanted Sans to just get his goddamn snack and leave him alone for once.

"what. did you just say?" Sans insisted.

Papyrus took a deep breath, frowning.

"EXACTLY WHAT YOU HEARD." He replied, not even **denying**.

Sans didn't look angry - he was... he was _enraged_ now. As well as... hurt?

"papyrus, what- what the _fuck_?!" He raised his voice, not even caring if it was in the middle of night. Papyrus admitted to being slightly shocked at his brother swearing, especially at... at _him_.

But Papyrus didn't even **think** of apologizing.

"WHY DO YOU CARE?" He repeated. "OR- WHY DO YOU _PRETEND_?"

"god, are you- are you even _listening_ to yourself?"

He was. He was, and thought that every single word that came out from his mouth was absolutely despicable.

But-

He didn't _stop_.

"WHY DO YOU SEEM LIKE YOU CARE," Papyrus raised his voice as well. "WHEN YOU DO THE EXACT SAME THING TO ME?! YOU NEVER TELL ME ANYTHING, EITHER! YOU ALWAYS LIE TO ME!"

"stop-!"

"AND YOU ALWAYS LEFT ME IN THE DARK! YOU NEVER **BOTHERED** TO KNOW HOW I WAS DOING!" Papyrus spoke without thinking whatsoever. "YOU'VE ALWAYS TREATED ME AS IF I WAS SOME NAIVE, STUPID KID!"

"that's **not** true-!"

"YOU _NEVER_ TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, ANYWAY, SO WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU?!" Papyrus asked.

"because i CARE!"

"YOU DON'T! YOU NEVER CARED!" Papyrus denied. "WHY DON'T YOU GO GET YOUR STUPID SNACK AND **LEAVE** , LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO?!"

What- what was he saying?! Sans was the best brother he could ever ask for! Why was Papyrus saying these horrible, unacceptable lies? Why couldn't he stop talking already?!

"i'm _not_ leaving!" Sans refused.

"YES, YOU ARE!"

Papyrus pushed his brother aggressively, who easily fell on the ground. Sans was caught off guard, looking at the tall skeleton with extreme shock. Papyrus panted, his face immediately softening as he replayed the entire scene in his head.

It made him feel worse than ever before.

Sans didn't even say anything. He was just... frozen there, completely lost, unsure of what to do next. Papyrus looked away, turning his back at his brother.

"JUST..." He said quietly. "J-JUST LEAVE ME ALONE."

Papyrus shut the door behind him. He groaned, pressing his hands into his skull. He- He really was an idiot! He had already been rude to his brother, now he was nothing but an ungrateful brat. Sans had always taken care of him - even if not in a perfect way, but what Papyrus had just done was _distasteful_.

He sat on his bed, feeling his sins crawling his spine.

...

A knock was heard.

Papyrus groaned again, standing up and heading to the door. He didn't intend to yell at his brother again, but he _really_ craved privacy at the moment.

"GOD, FOR THE LAST TIME-!" The skeleton opened it, but immediately became silent once he realized...

... it wasn't Sans.

It was... Alphys?

Papyrus's face softened as he recognized her. The shy lizard looked tired, but seemed... startled as well. Papyrus might have woken her up with the fight he had had with Sans... it came as a surprise to him that Undyne didn't arrive to yell at him, though.

"O-OH, ALPHYS!..." Papyrus said, uneasy. "I- I'M SORRY, I-"

"Papyrus, w-what happened?" She asked. "I-I heard screaming and... I r-recognized your voice. W-Were you and Sans...?"

Papyrus sighed. "WE... ONLY HAD A DISAGREEMENT."

"I-It sounded p-pretty bad, though." Alphys observed. "W-Why did you guys fight? I-I mean, if y-you want to talk a-about it, of course."

"NO, I- I..." The skeleton entered the room, expecting her to come in as well. She did.

Papyrus took some time to answer her question, as his head was too tormented. Alphys seemed hesitant to approach him more, most likely due to his behaviour towards Sans before.

"SANS JUST WANTED TO TALK, BUT I DIDN'T, AND..." The skeleton sighed deeply. "I-I ENDED UP SAYING SOME PRETTY BAD THINGS TO HIM."

"Y-Yeah, I... h-heard some of them. M-Mostly the last ones."

Papyrus looked away in embarrasment, especially as he had been violent with Sans, who... simply wanted to help him. And he had pushed him away. He was doing this to everyone.

"It h-has something to do with... w-whatever is going on, doesn't it?" Alphys guessed.

The skeleton refused to answer that. She waited for him to say something, but he did the opposite. He heard her letting out a sigh.

"L-Look, I don't w-want to force you to open up," Alphys said. "and y-you've probably heard this a lot by now, but... you really don't have to deal with your issues alone. I-I mean, I... I know how d-difficult it is to do so. I... I ended up l-lying to everyone that c-cared about me and I... I nearly did something... s-stupid."

It wasn't exactly a secret what Alphys had done and, though her situation was far different from Papyrus's, she had done the same thing as him: hide everything inside herself, until...

"It's painful t-to... hide everything inside you. And, by judging how... h-how scared you are, I can see that... i-it's not something little. It's not stupid." Alphys continued. "You... y-you may say that to yourself all the time, but you _know_ that it matters. You know, but you a-are afraid of seeking for help. We know that, too, which is why we... w-we are trying to a-assure you that i-it's okay to come up to us.

"We _do_ care, Papyrus." She approached him, her hand reaching his back. "A-And you're not alone in this. You're never alone."

Papyrus's gaze encountered hers again. Alphys seemed more confident and comfortable around him now, rather than being hesitant and... somehow afraid of him. The skeleton looked at her, thoughtful. She... was being honest. Her words were heartfelt and truthful.

The two gazed at each other without saying a word. Papyrus just... wanted to end all this suffering, but he didn't want... to involve them in this. He was afraid- _terrified_. And... there was still that strange feeling that his friends would get hurt. That something terrible could happen to them and it would be his fault, and-

He just... despised worrying them so much. God, it hurt. It pained him to no end.

Alphys wasn't lying. He **knew** she wasn't _._

...

But...

... Would they believe him?

Even if they knew how frightened he was, would...

_Would they actually take him seriously?_

Papyrus glanced at his bed.

"THANK YOU, BUT, UM... I... I WOULD LIKE TO BE... ALONE." He said.

Alphys didn't protest against that. She nodded.

"Oh, o-okay." She said. "Look, can y-you at least... think about it? Y-You don't have to p-pressure yourself, but... y-you can open up to me anytime. I w-won't tell the others yet, i-if you don't feel comfortable."

Papyrus nodded, not looking at her anymore.

"... OKAY." He replied.

"Well... g-good night."

"GOOD NIGHT."

The door was closed behind him. Papyrus sighed deeply, sitting on the floor. The broken photograph was next to him, which he had forgotten about. He carefully picked it and gazed at the picture, which was no longer... cursed. Instead of smiling at the photo like he usually did, he... looked at it with sad eyes.

**_You believe in others so much that you don't realize how much they actually hate you_ **

**_Do you think Sans actually loved you?_ **

**_And what about your other friends, who always treated you like a child?_ **

**_You are unloved_ **

_**You are FORGETTABLE** _

...

"... I _AM_ ALONE." Papyrus whispered.

* * *

Papyrus spent the whole night lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling. The broken shards joined him, staying on the ground as well, since Papyrus was too exhausted to clean that mess.

He didn't feel the night passing until the sunlight hit his eyesockets. Even then, it didn't matter. The floor was... comfortable, for some strange reason. He didn't feel like leaving it yet.

He eventually heard footsteps coming from the corridor. His friends were getting ready for the day while he was just... there. Lying on the floor and feeling like a mess.

Papyrus stared at the ceiling, hearing birds singing outside, as the sun slightly iluminated him.

He stopped listening to the real world afterwards, though. He no longer paid attention to the song of the birds, nor any other sound. He... paid attention to... nothing. Literally nothing.

Silence was his only company now.

He sighed deeply, not... feeling  _anything_  for a moment. It was... odd.

...

He lied there for... who knew how long. He lost track of time; not that it was important, anyway.

* * *

"Papyrus?"

Papyrus took a very long time to recognize that same noise of a knock on the door. He gradually returned to reality, soon being able to hear a female voice. Though he had no nose, he smelled... pancakes from outside?

"Can I come in?" Toriel asked.

The skeleton blinked a few times, not wanting to leave the floor for anything. Papyrus let out a quiet groan, not actually trying to stand up.

"Y... YES...!" He answered, in a very _exhausted_ tone.

Toriel opened the door and greeted him with a smile, at least before realizing he was lying on the floor. She held a tray; Papyrus wasn't able to see what was on it.

"Were you sleeping on the floor?" She asked.

"WELL, UM... I GUESS? IT'S NOT THAT BAD, ACTUALLY."

Toriel frowned a little, but her smile returned to her face, anyway.

"Anyway... I made breakfast for you." She said.

Papyrus actually managed to stand up this time. His bones were awfully heavy with exhaustion, but at least he could sit on his bed. Then, he was able to see the tray - there were a few pancakes and fruits, as well as a glass of milk.

"The pancakes might have gotten a little cold, but they're still delicious." She said. "It's a good way to start the day, am I right?"

Pancakes were his favorite - and Toriel's pancakes were simply the best. He would have been happy, but...

... he didn't feel hungry at all. Or... even happy, for that matter.

Toriel must have noticed, as her smile dropped. Papyrus would usually react in a joyful way.

"What's the matter?" She asked.

"I'M... NOT HUNGRY." Papyrus replied, guilty.

He truly felt bad - Toriel bothered to give him some quality breakfast, she put his favorite food (even the fruits he enjoyed the most!), yet he _wasn't feeling hungry_.

"Oh," Toriel said, obviously not expecting that. Papyrus lowered his head, feeling awful.

"B-But it's alright." The goat woman assured. "Though... do you think you can at least eat the fruits and drink the milk? You need to eat something."

Papyrus shook his head. The smell of pancakes was actually making him... sick. He... he couldn't eat anything. He didn't know why; he hadn't eaten in _hours_.

"I'M... I-I'M SORRY." He said quietly. "I REALLY CAN'T."

"Are you feeling alright? Are you... sick, or-?"

"I- I AM FINE, I'M JUST... NOT HUNGRY. AT ALL."

Toriel stayed silent for a moment, unsure of what to do. Neither Papyrus was, for that matter...

"... I see..." She murmured.

"I'M SORRY." Papyrus repeated.

"No, no, it's fine. Just... a-are you sure you can't even drink water?"

He nodded. Toriel sighed.

"Well, do... do you need anything else?" She asked.

"NO, THANKS."

Silence filled the room. Papyrus couldn't look at the food anymore.

"Well then... you can call me if you need." Toriel said, giving him a sad smile.

Papyrus simply nodded. Before she left his bedroom, she asked something he wasn't really expecting.

"What happened to that... photo frame?"

Papyrus's eyes widened for a moment. She left the tray on his bed and directed to the frame's direction.

"OH, UM... I ACCIDENTALLY HIT ON IT AND, ER..." He lied. "WELL, T-THE GLASS BROKE. I-I FORGOT TO CLEAN THAT."

Toriel bent over to analyze the object, seeming suspicious of Papyrus's excuse.

"Wow, but... it wouldn't have gotten this... busted, if it was an accident..." Toriel observed.

"I-IT WAS FRAGILE, ANYWAY." Papyrus said nervously. "DON'T WORRY, I'LL CLEAN THIS MESS."

She stood up after some minutes and faced him. She didn't seem convinced, but didn't question that.

"I can clean it for you-"

"IT'S OKAY, REALLY, I-I'LL DO IT." He insisted.

Toriel sighed deeply, staying quiet for some seconds.

"Fine." She said, walking away and taking the tray with her.

Papyrus noticed she looked... hurt. He let out a deep breath, looking at the object that still lied on the ground. Well, he'd better stand up and clean it, right? He wouldn't want Toriel to clean his mess.

... but...

... the thought of going downstairs and facing everyone... it didn't sound very appealing to him. _Especially_ if his brother and Frisk were there.

Papyrus would never run away from a responsiblity, yet... he lied on his bed, burying his face on his pillow and not wishing to leave his room for anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the story is not being too slow and/or repetitive, since, like, everyone is trying to help him and he refuses...  
> Like, I feel that Papyrus is the kind of person that refuses to open up to anyone, no matter what.  
> ... at least this is just my interpretation, though.
> 
> Btw, I hope the characters aren't OOC, either... especially in this chapter. Sorry, I'm kinda insecure x'D
> 
> I can still assure you that the next chapters will be more interesting. =)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for making you guys wait for so long ;A; my updates are pretty irregular, ugh-  
> but fear not! I won't give up writing the story!
> 
> I really hope this chapter is good enough, as I tried to do something different. Sorry if anyone is OOC here in particular.

It was strangely silent that morning. So silent to the point of bringing everyone down in the very beginning of the day...

The house was awfully quiet and somehow empty, despite the fact that six people lived there. But the impact that one of them had in everyone's lives was quite significant. For instance, breakfast hadn't been the same; nobody actually shared words, instead staring at the empty spot at the breakfast table with sad eyes. The joy that had once been there was... gone. Nowhere to be found.

Undyne had spoken after long minutes of silence, desiring to find a solution, yet her voice eventually died out. She was the most determined monster the Underground had ever seen, but not even the greatest hero of all monsters was able to figure out how to help her fellow friend.

Nobody had ideas, yet Toriel had said to not give up on Papyrus, and that they _were_ going to find a way... even if she wasn't sure herself.

Papyrus hadn't even come downstairs to have breakfast. Toriel had wanted to wait for him, as she had even made pancakes and separated his favorite fruits, and a glass of milk, but everyone had their jobs and Frisk had school to attend to. Undyne and Alphys had ended up leaving eventually. Toriel then decided to take the breakfast to Papyrus, feeling that it might help him feel a little better. Frisk waited for her, as they went to school with her every day. They were sitting on the couch, watching cartoons.

However, the noises of the TV were quite irrelevant and didn't fulfill the emptiness in the house. It all still felt very quiet and... _lifeless_.

The colors of the kitchen were cold and barely iluminated by the sunlight in contrast to the warm colors that painted the walls and the floor. The room smelled like coffee, but the beverage itself had gotten cold and had been barely consumed. It was pitch-black, but it couldn't be compared to how dark Sans's eyesockets were.

He blinked many times due to how little sleep he had gotten in the previous night. Nobody had noticed that he was more exhausted than usual, which was to be expected. Perhaps only Alphys had seemed to noticed. Maybe she had heard their fight in the middle of the night, but she hadn't mentioned anything during breakfast. Sans was kind of thankful for that.

The sounds of whatever Frisk was watching became nonsense and, eventually, Papyrus's voice could be heard. Sans... Sans saw the heartbreaking look on his brother's face; he saw the fear, the loneliness, the _rage_ -

Sans's eyes couldn't get any darker than they already were as he saw- heard Papyrus snapping at him again. Nothing, _nothing_ was more painful than to remember every single word that had been spit out by Papyrus's jaw, to see the expression he had held...

**_WHY DO YOU CARE?_ **

Sans had never seen his brother behave in such way before. Papyrus had yelled at him before, but... but not like **that**.

And just by remembering how distressed and enraged, and- and _neglected_ Papyrus felt was making Sans feel sick - and he didn't have a stomach.

**_WHY DO YOU SEEM LIKE YOU CARE WHEN YOU DO THE EXACT SAME THING TO ME?!_ **

The short skeleton felt his hands shaking, to the point of nearly dropping his cold cup of coffee.

**_AND YOU ALWAYS LEFT ME IN THE DARK! YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO KNOW HOW I WAS DOING!_ **

**_YOU'VE ALWAYS TREATED ME AS IF I WAS SOME STUPID, NAIVE KID!_ **

He shook his head.

Sans couldn't swallow the fact that Papyrus felt this way... about _his own brother_.

The younger skeleton had never been one to talk about his feelings, not even to Sans. Goodness, had- had Papyrus _always_ felt this?

He knew when his brother was feeling down. Papyrus would always avoid talking about anything that could be bothering him, but Sans had never imagined he would be feeling... something like this.

Well, it...

... it wasn't like Sans had... spent that much time with him, anyway.

He would disappear. He would go to Grillby's and drown himself in ketchup, and he would spend _hours_ at the other side of the door of the RUINS, coming up with bad puns to share with Toriel back when everyone had remained trapped in the Underground. Meanwhile, Papyrus only had had Undyne to hang out with, but since she had been the captain of the Royal Guard, she would occasionally get busy with her duties. That being said, his routine had consisted of arranging his puzzles over and over, when there had been no signs of humans whatsoever; watching Mettaton's TV show; cooking some spaghetti that nobody would actually eat, except Sans, who had done that just to appease his brother, since his food skills had still been in development; making sure Sans wouldn't slack off... other than these, Papyrus would spend the entire day alone.

Now that they all lived on the surface, though, Papyrus hung out with others more - mostly with Frisk, Undyne and Alphys, and even Asgore. But, even then...

... he _still_ felt lonely. Sans had seen it written all over his face.

The fact that his little brother had felt this way for so long, without ever telling anyone...

How- how come Sans had never... **done** something?

Why was he so _stupid_?

...

 _no, i'm- i'm overreacting,_ Sans denied.  _papyrus **knows** i love him._

But then... why would Papyrus say such horrible things to him? He had sounded so _upset_ , so overwhelmed with all the things he had never told him because... because he thought _Sans didn't care_.

**_YOU NEVER TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, ANYWAY, SO WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU?!_ **

**_because i CARE!_ **

**_YOU DON'T! YOU NEVER CARED!_ **

But god- Papyrus was his _whole world_. Sans loved him **so much**... he thought his brother knew that by now!

He couldn't accept that, he- he couldn't, **_he couldn't_** -

**_WHY DON'T YOU GO GET YOUR STUPID SNACK AND LEAVE, LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO?!_ **

**_LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO?!_ **

**_LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO?!_ **

 

"Sans?"

The skeleton shook his head and blinked a few times, jumping slightly in shock. Only then he realized that Toriel was staring at him with her concerned mother expression.

"o-oh, hey tori," Sans cleared his non-existent throat. "sorry, i was a little distracted here."

Sans smiled nervously, at least until... he noticed that Toriel held the tray. It... was full of food. The pancakes hadn't even been touched. The smile on the short skeleton's face immediately disappeared.

"wha- _seriously_?" He asked, a bit harsh than he meant. Yet... Papyrus would never, _ever_ reject pancakes!

Toriel sighed in response, leaving the tray on the counter. Sans looked at the food with disbelief.

"He told me he isn't feeling hungry, yet he doesn't appear to be sick, either." Toriel said, looking at the skeleton with worried eyes. "However, when I checked on him, he... he was lying on the floor. And I don't think he slept at all last night..."

Sans sighed deeply.

"well, i... i can't really blame him for that," He admitted. "we- wait, you didn't... hear what happened last night, right?"

Toriel frowned a little. "What do you mean? What happened?"

Sans sighed again.

"... we... we had a fight." He said, after an uncomfortable amount of time. "a bad one."

Toriel's eyes widened a little in surprise. The short skeleton wondered how she hadn't heard anything, as neither brother had managed to lower their voices. Come to think of it, not even Undyne had gone there and yelled at the skeletons to stop fighting in the middle of the night...

"he- he's _really_ messed up, toriel." Sans said, his voice becoming... shaky for a moment. "he said some... p-pretty heavy stuff to me."

"What did he say?"

Sans lowered his head by just replaying Papyrus's words, over and over...

"... he... h-he said that i don't... care about him." He said quietly.

Toriel looked more surprised now, covering her mouth with her right hand.

"he said that... that i never treated him well." Sans continued. "then he told me to leave. i didn't want to, but he pushed me. when i looked at him, he... he looked so devastated. after that, he closed the door in my face."

Toriel appeared to be processing what she had just heard. Then, again, Papyrus wasn't one to say things like those... nor to be violent.

"he- he was so mad, tori, i- i can't stop thinking that... that i might be a _reason_ for him to act this way." Sans said, not planning to say that, though.

"What? Oh, Sans," Toriel's hand reached his shoulder. "why would you think that?"

"i mean, like," Sans chuckled sadly. "i always... went out and did my stuff while papyrus didn't have anyone to hang out with, except for undyne, i- i always left him alone and i thought he was _fine_ with all that and- god, i'm- i'm so **dumb** -"

"Sans, don't- don't blame yourself like that..." Toriel said calmly. "I know he didn't actually mean it."

"of course he did!" Sans raised his voice harshly. "it- it really sounded like he felt this way for so long and- and i never realized that **i** was making him so upset and _neglected_ , and-!"

"Sans," Toriel's voice was firm now. "I know Papyrus isn't in the best place now, but... but he would never think that way when it comes to you. He would never doubt your love for him."

"... i don't agree with that, tori." Sans murmured.

"Sans..."

"i mean, why- why would he say that," Sans said. "if he _knew_?"

Toriel was about to argue against that, but... she didn't seem so sure anymore. Sans laughed sadly once he saw that.

"see my point now?" He asked. "i don't know what... what is actually going on with him, but- but maybe **i'm** the reason why he doesn't tell anyone anything."

The two of them remained silent for a long time. Toriel's hand didn't leave his shoulder, though. She still tried to comfort him quietly.

The moment was interrupted by Frisk, who looked rather suspicious. Toriel's eyes widened at the sight of them, once she remembered that the two of them had to leave.

"Oh, right, school!" Toriel said. "Did you get your things already?"

Frisk nodded.

"Good," Toriel nodded as well. "I'll be ready in a minute, alright? I'm just talking to Sans about some things."

The human glanced at Sans, expressing concern through their brown eyes. They then returned to the living room.

"Look, Sans... I've been thinking..." Toriel said in a lower voice. "I'm not confident about leaving Papyrus alone the entire day. I... I think you should stay home for today. I have some things to do at school and I won't be able to return early.

"Papyrus needs our support, Sans. Even if... he insists on remaining alone." Toriel continued.

Sans didn't feel very... willing to do it. Papyrus didn't want to be with him and he would most certainly snap at his brother again...

But Toriel was right. He- he couldn't just leave him. Even if Papyrus wouldn't tell him anything, he was _not_ leaving him alone again. He had done that for so long, and look where they were now - that was what happened when people like him took it easy.

Besides, Sans was way too tired to work that day, anyway...

"okay, i- i'll stay here." Sans said, taking a deep breath.

"Good." Toriel sighed. "I know Papyrus won't... want to talk to you, but at least... make sure he is not alone, alright?"

Sans nodded without saying a word.

"I have to go now. See you later." She said, giving him a little smile and a pat on his shoulder.

"bye, tori." Sans waved.

"Come on, Frisk, let's go."

Toriel grabbed her purse and took Frisk's hand. The child looked at Sans again before the two of them were gone. The skeleton would have raised his eyebrow, if he had one, due to how... unsettling their expression felt.

Maybe it was nothing. Sans really wasn't feeling well that morning...

* * *

It hadn't been hard to convince his boss that he wouldn't work that day; being a mere comedian at some place guaranteed him breaks throughout the day, for that matter.

After doing so, Sans left the kitchen and lied on the couch. He sighed deeply, staring at the ceiling. The house was so silent, it was... depressing to stay there.

The skeleton hadn't done anything but... to think of anything to do in order to help his brother.

 _there has to be something i can do for him, right?_ Sans thought.

Unfortunately, nobody had an answer for that...

...

Sans looked at the stairs again. There was no noise coming from upstairs... it almost felt like Papyrus wasn't even home.

He took a deep breath. He couldn't just... lie in there and do nothing. With that, Sans opted to head to the upper floor. The corridor was actually iluminated, yet the only spot that had no light was Papyrus's room. The door was closed.

Sans walked hesitantly, his hand slowly reaching the doorknob. He let out a deep breath.

 _it's for his own good._ He thought.

Sans attempted to open the door. It was unlocked.

He peeked inside. The room... was empty. The curtains covered the sunlight and only darkness reigned. For a moment, Sans felt more worried for not seeing his brother in there, but then... he realized something.

His eyesockets met the closet, which... was slightly open. Before Sans could go check, he stepped on... some shards?

Sans noticed the broken photo frame that lied on the ground. Perhaps that was the thing that Papyrus had broken "in accident" last night...

The short skeleton was able to get the photo out of the glass.  _That_  photograph... it was back in the beginning of their new lives on the surface. Everyone was so happy -  _Papyrus_  was happy... never had Sans seen his brother so eager to meet humans, to get a new car, to start his very own restaurant that humans would most certainly love...

Papyrus had been so happy.

But... had he, really?

Besides this, Sans wondered why Papyrus would... throw the photo frame to the ground, as it definitely didn't seem to be an accident.

Though that wasn't the point at the moment. Sans kept the photograph with him as he headed to the closet.

Pushing the door, he was able to recognize his brother's figure... Papyrus looked... miserable.

The closet was dark, yet cozy. It was relatively big, but perhaps not fit for two people to stay inside. Obviously. The tall skeleton was awfully silent. His face was buried by his bare arms. He wasn't wearing his battle body, instead his orange pajamas. It didn't seem that Papyrus had taken a shower yesterday, judging by the smell coming from the closet.

Sans felt his SOUL aching at that sight. It... it really didn't look like Papyrus was trying to take care of himself anymore. He just... isolated himself now.

"... WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, SANS?"

The short skeleton was caught off guard as he heard Papyrus's  _empty_  tone.

Papyrus raised his head a little. There were  _bags_  under his eyesockets and... he looked  **awful**.

"CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I WANT TO BE ALONE?" He asked.

Sans was silent. He wasn't sure what to say.

"... papyrus-"

"GO AWAY," Papyrus said, hiding his face again. " _PLEASE_."

Sans sighed deeply.

"i'm not leaving you. i won't do that again." He said.

He noticed Papyrus slightly raising his head again, looking surprised and hurt; perhaps he remembered the fight.

"i just want to help you, bro." Sans said.

Papyrus took some time to say something.

"... THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO, SANS." He murmured.

"i can't do anything," Sans said, standing on his knees. "if you won't tell me."

Papyrus didn't protest against that. He refused to look at his brother, instead hiding himself.

"look, papyrus," Sans started. "i know i'm... i'm not easy to live with, but that doesn't mean i don't care about you. i- i  _love_  you. i do care about you. i'm... i'm sorry for not... making this clear to you."

The tall skeleton was...  _genuinely_  surprised by those words. Eventually, though, his shock turned into a defeated expression.

"c'mon pal..." Sans placed his hands on his shoulders, after placing the photograph on the floor. "i'm here for you."

Minutes of silence passed. Sans tried to be patient with his brother, as it was all the other needed.

Eventually, though...

... tears came out of Papyrus's eyesockets.

Sans himself tried not to tear up as well, as he felt something inside him breaking.

"I DON'T- I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT," He said, hiding his face again. "PLEASE, JUST GO."

"papyrus-"

"L-LEAVE ME ALONE," Papyrus insisted, his voice shaky and... vulnerable.

He pushed his arms away. The tall skeleton pressed his hands against his face. Papyrus started weeping; Sans's SOUL would have shattered by just hearing him cry.

"oh, _papyrus_..." Sans whispered.

Papyrus shook his head and sobbed as well. He started looking around, in order to avoid his brother's gaze. But once he looked at the photo that lied on the ground, he...

... he looked _terrified_.

He started sweating out of a sudden and his bones were rattling out of fear.

"p-papyrus?" Sans spoke, his hand was about to reach him again.

The tall skeleton looked at him with **horror**. Papyrus let out a gasp and grabbed his wrist with force, it actually  _hurt_  Sans.

"LEAVE ME  _ALONE_!" He repeated, nearly throwing Sans to the wall.

The tall skeleton started panting _furiously_ out of a sudden. He was desperate, he was scared, he was  **hurt** -

Oh no, he- he was panicking again!

"papyrus, c-calm down!" Sans tried to comfort him, but to no avail.

Papyrus growled, more tears falling.

"GET  **AWAY**  FROM ME!" He raised his voice.

The short skeleton felt himself panicking as well.

"papyrus, it's- it's okay!" Sans said, startled, as he didn't know what to do.

He wouldn't stop panting. He shrank and curled up into a ball, as if he were trying to protect himself from something- from  **someone**.

"STOP!!!" Papyrus pleaded.

Goodness, what- what was Sans going to do?

"pap, c-can you hear me? it's me! i'm- i'm here!" Sans assured. "it's okay, i-!"

And, out of nowhere, Papyrus made a barrier of bones, separating him and Sans. The latter fell backwards, making an "oof!" sound.

His brother continued panting and crying. Sans remained on the ground, watching Papyrus suffer. He couldn't go there to help him, if- if he tried, the other would end up taking all of his shallow HP. Those bones were actually Papyrus's  _strongest_  ones.

Papyrus then raised his hand and- Sans felt himself getting heavier. He was blue now. His brother threw him out of his closet, thankfully taking very few of his HP. Long, tall bones blocked the entrance.

"papyrus!" Sans screamed.

" ** _GO AWAY_**!" Papyrus pleaded.

Sans wanted to say something, but the weight on his entire body was close to  _crushing_  him. He wasn't able to stand up, as his brother's blue magic wouldn't let him. However, he was able to teleport himself away from his bedroom and ended up in the hall. Sans panted a little, as he was definitely not expecting that.

Sans could still hear Papyrus panting inside. But he was quite discouraged to enter in there again. His brother was too unstable to talk to anyone. Pushing him to talk would do no good.

The older skeleton went to the bathroom, finding it a bit difficult to walk, as he had just freed himself from the blue magic. Sans didn't want to admit that, for a moment, he was- he was  _afraid_  of his brother. Papyrus would never, ever hurt him, or anyone else, to this level, but- but he wouldn't use his bone attacks in other situations other than duels or training lessons.

Sans locked himself in the bathroom, letting out a shaky breath. His skull was wet from sweating.

"w-what-" Sans spoke quietly. "what the hell just-?"

No- before anything, he- he had to think: why was Papyrus so afraid, in the first place?

Asgore had mentioned he... he could be fearing someone. What if... what if someone was actually hurting him? Papyrus was so scared, he- he had looked at Sans as if he were some kind of _threat_.

Then...  _who_  would that be? And how could Sans know, when Papyrus was too unwilling to tell him?

The thought made something inside Sans burn. Thinking of his little brother getting manipulated, traumatized by a dirty little  **bastard** -

God, what was that evil someone doing to Papyrus?

_And how was Sans supposed to help?_

...

Sans fell on his knees, staring at the floor. This was  _hopeless_.

He couldn't- he couldn't do this.

He didn't want to be useless to his brother anymore, he- he wanted to be there for Papyrus, which was something he hadn't done in  _fucking_   _decades_ , but he was so... so lost...

Sans wanted to cry.

 _god,_ He laughed sadly.  _i'm so **useless**._

He lost track of time, staying in the bathroom for who knew how long. He sat on the floor and just... hugged his own legs, his back touching the cold wall. He only... stood there and did nothing - the only thing he was good at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope Papyrus's panic attack (or this chapter overall) didn't feel rushed/forced or anything; it's kinda challenging to write it when it's from someone else's point of view, since they're usually sudden, so I tried my best to make it realistic
> 
> and yeahhh... things will heat up in the next chapters, I promise. Wait until you see... =)  
> (jeez, i'm bad at cliffhangers ahsahhhs)
> 
> (I apologize for being so insecure when it comes to my writing, I just never wrote something with so much angst before x'D And so many people like the story, I don't want to ruin it or anything ;o;)


	10. Chapter 10

It was such a beautiful day. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming... despite it being Monday, a day humans despised the most. It didn't matter, though - every day was beautiful nonetheless!

... even though... a friend was going through hard times.

Asgore pondered and sighed deeply as he trimmed the hedge dedicated to Papyrus, located in front of the school for humans and monsters. Although Asgore hadn't known Papyrus for so long, he felt that the skeleton truly deserved to be acknowledged by all children that arrived. Papyrus was quite a celebrity among the human and monster students; the armless little monster, who was Frisk's friend, was the one that admired him the most.

Just by remembering how amazed Papyrus had been when he saw the hedge, to the point of crying tears of joy... it actually hurt Asgore.

Because he couldn't stop thinking of how... how _overwhelmed_ his skeleton friend was now.

Asgore and Papyrus weren't exactly close, but the former knew how _frightened_ the latter was. The worst of all was that Papyrus refused to get any help. Asgore actually doubted he would ever come to talk to him at some point. He had seen it by merely reading Papyrus's face before he left his house in the previous day.

It was utterly concerning. The unwillingness to tell anyone what was going on due to anything- or **anyone** that could _threaten_ his friends, his screams when Asgore had come to him and the tears of humiliation when he had allowed someone to watch him in that state, the numerous apologies Papyrus had given, his aggressive outbursts towards his friends, the lack of sleep, or any rest, the avoidance-

The thought of someone as joyful and optimistic as Papyrus suffering to this rate... reminded Asgore of...

... of someone he cared deeply.

Someone who was long gone now.

It didn't make Asgore feel any better; in fact, it made him feel more worried about Papyrus once he realized how... how  _familiar_ that situation was.

_... Y-YOU WOULDN'T... UNDERSTAND._

_YOU CAN'T HELP ME._

 

**_Go away!_ **

Asgore felt something wetting his eyes and slightly blurring his vision, which forced him to shut them.

_**No, no, don't-!** _

_**GO AWAY!** _

**_Please, don't do this!_ **

**_STAY AWAY FROM ME!_ **

Those sobbing sounds, the blood, the scars, _the knives_ -

Asgore dropped the grass shears he once held as the tears demanded to fall. He disliked hiding things from others, but honestly, he really was not willing to let anyone see him in such state.

Even if hundreds of years had already passed, or if more thousand came to pass, it still hurt. It hurt so, **so very much** -

To watch someone hurting, to be rejected by someone he cared deeply because they were hurting and he couldn't help-

Asgore then looked up, his gaze encountering the hedge. The Grass Papyrus merely smiled.

Goodness-

If- I-If **Papyrus** did...!

 _N- No,_ Asgore thought to himself.  _Panicking will not do any help!_

_I have got to... to calm down..._

Asgore closed his eyes again. He still found himself having these episodes, but, unlike Papyrus, he had seeked for help. Asgore had actually treated himself after leaving the Underground because, no matter how hard he had tried to do on his own, he hadn't recovered.

Thankfully, Asgore was taking his time and was gradually becoming more able to live his new, wonderful and peaceful life among humans.

Those bad occasions were now rare. That didn't mean, of course, they would cease completely. And that was okay.

Even though Asgore didn't exactly like when others saw him like that. Not that he felt humiliated and weak- he just didn't feel comfortable. Who would ever enjoy that, though?

Well, that wasn't the point now.

What mattered was to find a way to help Papyrus. Or else...

Asgore didn't need more evidence to know how dangerous his situation was. Papyrus wasn't the kind of person to do such thing, definitely not. However, sometimes the most cheerful people were the ones that hid their deepest sorrows behind their known smiles of joy.

And they could... make a  **very** big mistake.

Asgore was not letting that happen. He couldn't stand there and do nothing. He- he had to help!

... how he was going to do that, he still didn't know. But he was _not_ giving up on Papyrus!

Even if he refused, he _needed_ help. And Asgore would provide it!

...

The former king dried his tears, thus picking his grass shears again. A calm, soothing wind blowed against his beard and birds flew across the Papyrus hedge, one of them landing on the top. It sang beautifully.

Asgore let out a sad smile. He placed his hand on the grass Papyrus and looked at its smile. He sighed and the joy that once filled his SOUL came to an end.

* * *

It came to the point that not even staying inside the closet helped.

He lacked lungs, but goodness, was it suffocating. The smell that came out of his sweated clothing was awful and spread all over the closet. Despite this, he really couldn't get himself to take a shower.

Papyrus eventually left it, a long time after... after the incident. Once he had realized what he had done, he had felt so devastated. He- he could have _killed_ his brother!

Now, though, Papyrus... didn't really feel anything. Not that he was indifferent- it was quite the opposite! But... what could he do? He couldn't just say "sorry for nearly killing you, Sans, can we forget this ever happened and be okay with it??" and just- let it be!

God, Sans would never forgive him for this. Papyrus certainly wouldn't forgive himself, either.

What could he do?

 _You could tell them, you know,_ A voice spoke inside of him.

 _I WON'T._ He insisted.  _I CAN'T HURT THEM ANY MORE THAN I DID TO SANS._

_You are hurting them **more** by lying to them-_

_I HAVE... TO **KEEP GOING**... _ He ignored that inner voice whatsoever.

...

Papyrus ended up walking to the bed, though letting out a sound of pain once he felt the shards of the empty photo frame jabbing his foot. Ugh, he _still_ hadn't cleaned that? His usual self would most certainly be yelling at him now.

But where was he, anyway...

...

His hand held torn pieces of paper. It... was the photograph.

Papyrus had destroyed when he panicked, with his bone attacks.

He stared at the pieces without any emotion.

...

Instead of... trying to fix it, he... threw them away, in the trash bin.

Like they meant nothing to him.

But... how could he fix something so... broken, so... torn apart?

There was no point.

...

Papyrus sat on his bed and crossed his arms, lowering his head. He couldn't hear anything anymore. The house was very, _very_ quiet. Sans probably locked himself somewhere else as well. Or he went to Grillby's. The second option would be more preferable...

He had no idea what time it was. The room was dark, if not for the light coming from the corridor. Papyrus didn't think of closing the door. It required energy from his bones...

It wasn't long until something inside him... screamed. Screamed for it to be finally heard.

Screamed for... food?

Papyrus didn't need a stomach to know that he was... hungry. The feeling wasn't that pleasant; it was similar to how humans felt hunger, which involved pain in their stomach.

Oddly enough, he hadn't felt any hunger when Toriel had presented him breakfast - and it had been his favorite food!

Though it... made sense. Perhaps more hours had passed and Papyrus hadn't eaten anything since yesterday; which hadn't been much, anyway.

Papyrus glanced at the door, checking if anyone was near. It didn't seem that Sans would return any soon. Why would he, though? _Why would anyone want to be near him?_

For a moment, he felt really regretful again. However, the desire to eat something was stronger than anything else. Surprisingly, it was stronger than his exhaustion as well, because he was oddly willing to... to go downstairs and grab something to eat. Or even... to cook??

The skeleton stood up with dificulties, due to how much time he remained isolated in his closet and how exhausted he was. Papyrus nearly tripped as he reached the door, feeling dizzy all of a sudden. Perhaps it was due to the lack of nutrients...

Papyrus finally left his bedroom and he groaned as the light hit his eyesockets with everything, which caused his skull to ache. He found himself leaning on the wall. He felt... weaker for a moment, and his vision suddenly darkened. He started panting and he didn't know why.

Papyrus shut his eyes, feeling like passing out at any moment. It didn't happen, though.

Eventually, his vision adjusted to the initially blinding light and he was able to continue all the way to the kitchen. Luckily enough, Papyrus didn't fall down the stairs, despite his legs not cooperating very much with him.

The living room was empty. Papyrus sighed and looked around, searching for the kitchen cabinet. There stood a box of spaghetti; the last one, for that matter. He hadn't remembered to buy it earlier.

Papyrus grabbed it and thus went for a pot, filling it with water. Since he was too hungry, he turned up the heat without really thinking. It didn't take long for the water to boil, so he threw the spaghetti inside already.

Thereafter, he grabbed a few tomatoes to make the sauce. Papyrus then opened the counter, only to find...

... the knife.

That knife.

Papyrus saw his own reflection on it. He looked even more awful than he remembered. His eyesockets were widened and sweat drops formed on his skull.

He breathed heavily. His hand hesitantly reached the knife and held it. It was sharp and shiny. Papyrus stared at it, not doing anything other than holding the tomato a bit too tight.

Frisk suddenly appeared in the reflection of the knife, making that horrid smile. Papyrus gasped and threw it away.

**_Please, listen to me!_ **

**_You have to do something!_ **

Papyrus panted furiously as he stepped backwards, the knife lying on the ground. That evil laugh was coming from somewhere _again_ -

_NO, STOP THIS, S T O P  T H I S -_

He remembered that photograph, in which his friends were all crossed out and Frisk had that horrifying, melting face, and the laughing wouldn't stop, and Papyrus couldn't think, he couldn't do anything, he couldn't, he couldn't-

_STOP- STOP, **STOP**_

**_They may not be who they appear to be_ **

**_This is all just a game_**

He saw his friends turning into dust again and, in the end, Frisk was the only one who lasted, their knife full of dust, as well as their face and their sweater.

**_This is all just a game_ **

_**JUST A GAME** _

" **STOP**!" Papyrus pleaded.

He was close to crying again. He just wanted this all to be over, why couldn't he be okay, why couldn't he live his life normally, why couldn't he be happy, please, this had to end, _this needed to end_ -

Someone chuckled at him. The sound came... from behind him.

**_You are pathetic. _ **

He turned around, finding "Frisk" in the middle of the kitchen. They were holding the knife he had thrown to the floor, smiling evilly.

 ** _You think that ignoring me will make me go away?_** They asked.

"I KNOW YOU'RE NOT FRISK!" Papyrus said. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!"

"Frisk" chuckled.

 ** _How adorable._** They said.  ** _You insist on believing that I am the "sweet little Frisk that harms no one". How pitiful... it nearly makes me feel bad about you._**

**_But since when do people care about you, anyway?_ **

"Frisk" approached him in a dangerous pace. Papyrus prepared a bone attack.

"STEP OFF!" He ordered.

 ** _Oh wow, you are up to fighting me?_** They asked, genuinely surprised.  ** _You are finally useful for once. You have always been incompetent at saving your friends from threats._**

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

 ** _Why do you keep lying to yourself? Why do you hold on to your illusions and foolish dreams, when none of those are real?_** They asked, playing with their knife while not showing any fear regarding Papyrus's attack.

The skeleton found himself shaking in his boots, but he managed to stand firm and ready for any oncoming blows.

 ** _You have always been selfish. All you ever cared about was your worthless reputation, your "popularity", when nobody loves you._** "Frisk" said.  ** _Because of your insignificant wishes, you let your friends die by my hands, over and over... y_** ** _ou always let everyone down simply because you only care about YOURSELF._**

"STOP  _LYING_!" Papyrus hissed, feeling personally attacked.

 ** _You know I am not lying. I know everything, Papyrus. _**"Frisk" smirked at him.  ** _You are disappointing in so many ways... you nearly killed your brother with your own hands because you think you are protecting him and your friends, when you are only dragging them down. You have always done that._**

"JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME ALREADY!" Papyrus demanded, avoiding those topics.

 ** _What I want?_** They looked at the knife, thoughtful for a moment.

 ** _You really do not get it, do you?_**  They asked. **_You_ _think I have a valid reason for doing all of this?_**

**_It's just because it is FUN._ **

Papyrus couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"W-WHAT? HOW- HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?!" He asked, anger boiling inside of him. "YOU THINK THAT MAKING MY LIFE HELL IS **_FUN_ _?!_** "

"Frisk" laughed, as if his indignation was pathetic.

 ** _Wow, you really do entertain me. _**They said, clapping.  ** _Bravo!_**

"GET. AWAY FROM ME." Papyrus threatened.

"Frisk" actually seemed surprised at his advance, especially as he stepped towards them in an intimidating way. They eventually laughed it off.

 ** _You really believe you can DO something. Poor little skeleton..._** "Frisk" faked a sad face, in a sound of mockery.

"I SWEAR TO ASGORE THAT IF YOU DON'T GO AWAY, I'M GOING TO-!"

The psycopath's red eyes shined. Their sclera turned black and their face melted.

 ** _WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?_** They asked, their voice becoming more distorted than it already was.  ** _KILL ME?_**

**_You cannot get rid of me, Papyrus. But I can get rid of you, over and over, and over, AND OVER._ **

**_AND YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING._ **

"Frisk" prepared their knife to attack him. Papyrus felt his skull flooding with sweat and he could have easily fallen due to how shaky his bones were.

**_And guess what?_ **

**_N O B O D Y  W I L L  C A R E ._ **

They pointed their knife at him and ran in his direction. Papyrus threw several bones at them, only to miss. He growled loudly, his hands flaming with magic. "Frisk" only laughed.

"YOU LITTLE-!"

**_Just admit it already, Papyrus - you are worth nothing._**

"SHUT UP!"

Papyrus threw sharp bones at them and they dodged them all, with that same melting smirk on their face.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" He yelled.

 ** _Why are you still trying?_** "Frisk" asked. _**Give up already.**_

"I _WON'T_!"

Papyrus kept on throwing all of his bones, even though he knew it was rather useless. That human escaped all of his strongest attacks, finding them all pitiful.

 ** _You do not make a difference, anyway. _**They said.

It got to the point of Papyrus actually feeling exhausted. It didn't help that he hadn't been sleeping well nor eating whatsoever. He felt weakened and powerless. "Frisk" laughed as they saw that.

 ** _How deplorable._** They smirked.  ** _You are always trying so hard, when nothing you do is good enough._**

**_No wonder why your brother let you die countless times without doing anything._ **

**_Nobody cares about you, and everyone would be much happier if you were DEAD for GOOD._ **

The knife attempted to reach him but Papyrus was fast enough to dodge.

"PLEASE, STOP!" He pleaded, actually crying, despite not wanting to.

**_Look at that! You are not capable of anything. You are just a pathetic, dumb and scared little child that everyone hates._ **

"Frisk" laughed again, their red eyes aiming at him.

 ** _No wonder why Undyne never signed you in the Royal Guard._** They said.  ** _You are no hero. You are not dignified._**

**_You are NOTHING._ **

They laughed and laughed, and laughed, and LAUGHED-

Papyrus didn't think twice.

He screamed in anger and raised his hand, _blasting_ that demon in tiny pieces, with all he still had. Even if it was most likely shallow and even if Papyrus would most certainly pass out due to how much energy he had wasted, he couldn't take this anymore.

Papyrus eventually fell on the floor, which didn't take very long, actually. He found himself panting. He stared at the ground, his vision blurring.

The kitchen floor was damaged - not as much as Papyrus had imagined, though. His special attack hadn't been very effective, but... the demon appeared to have gone away. For now.

Papyrus did feel some relief, even though he knew they would come back to haunt him again.

He attempted to stand up, only to fall again. As he did so, he... smelled something.

Something... _burning_.

...

Oh,  _ **no**_.

"NO- NO, NO, NO, _NO_ , _**NO**_ -!"

Papyrus looked at the stove. A black, suffocating smoke came from the pot. The- The spaghetti was on _fire_!

He immediately grabbed the pot and turned on the tap, the water then putting out the flame. Smoke still filled the kitchen and Papyrus then opened the window. Finally, he took a look at the failed spaghetti. Most of it was black and it smelled terribly.

Papyrus felt something boiling inside of him. He let out an infuriated scream, throwing the pot to the floor and making an utterly loud noise. The spaghetti spread all over the floor, not even wetting it as the water had evaporated. Papyrus continued kicking the pot with all his might.

" _ **GODDAMMIT**_!" He yelled, showing no remorse to the poor pot.

He wished he could destroy the entire kitchen, the entire house, everything- he would do everything to find that little demon and end their existence, and-!

Papyrus let out deep breaths, closing his eyes. It took him some time, but eventually he was no longer blinded with rage and fear.

...

Wait.

Oh, _goodness_.

Papyrus was still furious over what had happened, but he eventually realized...

... he had seriously damaged the kitchen.

The walls still contained pieces of bone attacks stuck, not to mention what his special attack had done to the floor... god, if- if the others saw this-!

"... OH, _CRAP!_ " He muttered under his breath, groaning loudly.

He truly hoped Sans wasn't hiding inside his bedroom. If he were, then he would better be sleeping like a rock. If he heard the entire thing...

God, Papyrus could already feel insanity taking control over him. He had nearly destroyed the kitchen, in order to kill something that- that wasn't even... even _real_ , for that matter!

He- he couldn't be there, but- he couldn't leave the kitchen the way it was! The others would definitely know it was him and he couldn't let them know or else-!

But Papyrus had absolutely no forces now. After using all of his attacks, even his most special and secret one, and taking his rage on the spaghetti, it left him with no energy to fix the kitchen.

Though he did take the bones off the holes on the walls and the kitchen cabinet at least. And he was able to find something to cover the cracks on the walls. He didn't know what to do when it came to the floor and the actual furniture, though... there wasn't anything he could do for those.

...

Well.

He couldn't do anything else.

All he needed now was... food. And to go somewhere else. Because he couldn't stay home any longer. Not without destroying it entirely.

But what if he put others in danger outside as well?

...

At least... at least he would be away from the closest people. Besides, there were plenty of places out there that he could isolate himself.

Papyrus sighed deeply, deciding to head upstairs in order to finally change his clothes. Instead of wearing the battle body, however, he just grabbed an old t-shirt of his and some black pants and boots. He actually checked whether Sans was inside his room or not; his brother's bedroom was empty. The bathroom had no one, either. That was good. Sans was probably at Grillby's or somewhere else, so he hadn't heard anything.

But what if he saw all the horrors Papyrus had done to the kitchen?

...

It... it didn't matter now.

Papyrus needed to get out of there for a while. They would all understand, right? Even though he hadn't told them anything at all.

...

Why?

Why was... all this happening?

Papyrus would ask that question forever, if necessary. Because, seriously; those couldn't be mere hallucinations. They all sounded like some sort of warnings about... Frisk.

Either that or he really was insane.

But was there anything he could do without hurting his friends? Without destroying everything in his way?

What- what if he actually lost control?

Papyrus was one of, if not the most, controlled monster ever. He never, ever felt the need to kill anyone, nor to cause such destruction. But he- he had felt something... so odd, and so horrible...

He had felt **hatred**.

Hatred for that... that impostor, that had _nothing_ to do with Frisk!

Never had he... had such feeling. The fact that, for a moment, he... he intended to...

Oh, god. Just by thinking about it, he- he was becoming terrified of... of _himself_ as well.

...

Papyrus headed to the door and left home. The sky was still clear and it was... a beautiful day. Too bad Papyrus was completely out of himself to enjoy it.

Then he looked around, not exactly sure where to go. He would usually go out for a walk, sometimes he would buy groceries and greet other people. That day, however, he didn't want to speak to anyone.

Papyrus chose whichever side he want to head on and walked, his head lowered. A few monsters actually greeted him, but Papyrus only answered with the weakest expression ever. He actually tried to smile, but to no avail. Others that passed by were probably intimidated, because Papyrus was never like that.

He merely walked forward, then not smiling at anyone, just... ignoring everyone else. With this, he headed to... nowhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, that escalated quickly  
> I hope it wasn't too rushed, ugh ;-; (you're probably tired of hearing/reading this, I'm sorryyyy)
> 
> I hope I wrote Asgore well, too; I don't tend to write from his POV, so I kinda had to come up with some things.  
> And I don't think I've ever written Papyrus so furious before, woah
> 
> Next: more bloodshed! More drama! And more foreshadowing to arrive... =)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: abuse of italics in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the longest chapter in the story... for now
> 
> I hope nobody is OOC here (jeez, how many times do you have to read this, I'm really sorry ahsgsdhdhdh)

_Ring..._

_Ring..._

_..._

 

_heya pal, this is sans the skeleton. leave a message after-_

Letting out a deep sigh, she gave up dialing the skeleton's number for what it was most likely the tenth - hundreth? - consecutive time. Oddly enough, Sans was not answering any of her calls nor text messages. She had even tried dialing Papyrus's number, but he had probably not even _touched_ his cell phone all day.

Toriel couldn't help feeling more and more tense after each lost call. Luckily enough, her worry hadn't prevented her from working that day - especially as there had been an important PTA meeting for her to attend; when you were the owner of the only school for humans and monsters in town (perhaps in the entire country, for that matter), several of those meetings were arranged and your presence was of fundamental importance; and they would last _long_.

Although she had managed to not show her worry during it, the thought of something bad (not specifically _what_ ) happening had been hammering her head the entire day. Toriel couldn't take her eyes off her phone, expecting that Sans would be calling at any minute in case there was something wrong, or maybe even just to assure her that everything was alright.

Toriel felt herself losing her breath after her last attempt, but she managed to calm herself down.

 _Stop worrying so much,_ She told herself. _Sans is taking care of everything. Don't you trust him?_

Sans was one of her greatest friends - the only _actual_ friend she had had back in the Underground. She did trust him, didn't she? Why couldn't she **relax**?

Maybe Sans was just looking after Papyrus and was too busy to answer his phone. Maybe he was cooking some food for the both of them, maybe they were finally having some quality time together, which was something that hadn't happened in the last days. If something bad did happen, then Sans would most certainly let her or anyone else know. Though he _could_ be a bit secretive at times...

Toriel walked in a fast pace in order to reach the gymnasium. Despite her long meetings, Frisk didn't exactly mind staying after class ended. In fact, there were plenty of activites after school and the human child did enjoy sports very much; especially if it meant that they would be playing with their friends.

Once she arrived, the children were still playing basketball. Apparently, according to the teacher that was with them, the match was coming to an end. Toriel frowned in worry for not spotting her child at first, but eventually she recognized the brown haired, small human that sat on the empty, distant grandstand. Toriel raised an eyebrow at such sight, as everyone else was playing but them. Frisk didn't seem to be fine, either; their head was a tad lowered, their eyes hidden behind their bangs. There was certain tension on their shoulders as well.

Some of the children acknowledged Toriel's presence and one of them reached Frisk to let them know. The lonely child looked at her with a little smile and stood up, waving goodbye to their friends and the gym teacher, the latter asking them something before anything. Toriel couldn't quite hear what he asked, but Frisk merely shrugged and assured him something, then finally reaching their mother.

Frisk greeted her with a rather fast hug and didn't actually _look_ at her.

"How was your day, Frisk?" Toriel asked, before aiming for deeper details.

For her surprise, they didn't say much.

"Eh, it was pretty normal." They replied quietly, not sounding very happy.

Toriel gazed at them with concern. The two of them remained in the same spot, that is, until Frisk started walking forward to the exit without warning.

"Let's go home," Frisk said afterwards. "I'm kinda tired..."

She frowned again, though following Frisk as she was quite eager to go home due to her concern for Sans and Papyrus. Remembering them, she did pick her phone for the hundredth time that day and, as part of her had expected, there was no notification to be found.

Toriel only reached Frisk some time later, as they appeared to be more anxious than her. She held their hand and they both headed to the parking lot in silence. They entered her car and, with this, they drove off.

As they approached home, there was a rather uncomfortable silence between the both of them, even if a soothing tune played from the radio they were listening to. Toriel glanced at Frisk a few times, noticing that the child was staring at the window of the car without letting out any words. She was able to see their reflection through the glass; Frisk looked quite thoughtful. There was something... odd about their expression.

The human hadn't said a word since they left school. Frisk wasn't one to talk much and Toriel could understand that, but her child was _absolutely_ quiet. It had gotten to the point of them isolating themself during that basketball game.

Something was wrong.

"Frisk," Toriel called them, after long minutes of silence. "Are you alright?"

Frisk seemed so lost in their thoughts that they jumped slightly at her question. They looked startled at first when their eyes met hers.

"Yeah, uh, sure." They replied.

Toriel raised an eyebrow. They never sounded so... nervous.

"Come on, now," She insisted. "What's in your mind?"

Frisk merely shrugged in response, avoiding her look. Toriel sighed at that. Papyrus was already behaving like that, now _Frisk_ was one to lie - her child never lied to anyone, as far as she was concerned.

Once Toriel stopped by a red light, she turned to the small human, letting out a deep breath.

"Frisk, what's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing."

Frisk didn't even face her; their entire body was turned to the window again.

"Look at me," Toriel spoke seriously, though her tone didn't omit her worry.

Frisk was hesitant, but they eventually did so. They said nothing.

"What is bothering you?" She asked.

They didn't answer, but didn't deny anything. Though she didn't receive an answer, Toriel... did have something in mind.

"Is... is it about Papyrus?" She guessed.

Papyrus was the first thing she could think of. He was worrying everyone indeed and Frisk was quite empathetic as well, which caused them to worry very much about things at such an young age.

The nervousness in Frisk's face disappeared, being replaced by sadness. Toriel felt something aching inside her.

"Oh, Frisk..." She said.

Frisk sighed deeply, not commenting anything about it.

"I understand how you must be feeling," Toriel continued. "I am very worried about him as well..."

The child only gave her a glance, then lowered their head and turned their body to the window again. She placed her hand on their shoulder.

"B-But hey, let's look on the bright side," Toriel said. "At least... at least Sans is taking care of him. Maybe he will be able to help his brother."

Frisk looked at her again, with a questioning expression. Toriel attempted to smile at them, even though she wasn't so sure herself.

"Everything will be okay," She assured them, though sounding rather... doubtful.

 _I hope so,_ She wanted to add, but decided not to.

They avoided her look eventually. Toriel saw their reflection again - there was... something about their expression... that couldn't be unnoticed. Apart from worry, of course, she was able to read... regret.

... guilt.

...

... why would... Frisk feel those?

Well, her child always wished to help others. Unfortunately, they couldn't help everyone, which would let them down. Toriel really couldn't blame them for feeling bad, but it did sadden her to see Frisk in such state.

Hopefully, they would all be able to help Papyrus. It had to happen at some time, right?

... _right_?

Toriel let out a sigh, choosing to end the conversation there, as she concluded that Frisk was not going to say anything. She then realized that the light was green and a car started honking behind her. With this, they headed home in silence.

* * *

It didn't take long for them to arrive, as they didn't live far from Ebott Elementary School. The traffic was surprisingly cooperative this time. The urban environment could be stressful and confusing at times, which was why most monsters would rather live near Mount Ebott, where nature was more present.

Toriel felt something inside her stomach as she approached the door. She truly hoped everything was alright and held tight to the thought of Sans and Papyrus being okay, perhaps with them watching some TV together or Sans reading a story to his brother in order to help him get some sleep.

She attempted to unlock the door, but... it was open already. How... strange. As they both entered the house, Toriel immediately let out a cough once a horrible, suffocating smell penetrated her nostrils. Frisk frowned in disgust as well. The goat didn't take long to recognize the smell of... of burnt food coming from the kitchen.

Not only that, but the house appeared to be... very silent as well. Before anything, Toriel headed to the kitchen, Frisk following her. She hoped nothing was on fire or anything.

"Is anyone-?"

Her voice immediately died out.

Several holes and rather ugly cracks filled the furniture, especially the kitchen cabin. The colored walls were also damaged, though it appeared that someone had tried to cover the cracks, but terribly. There was a pan lying on the floor, with burnt spaghetti spreading all over the ground. Toriel looked around the entire kitchen, frightened, until she was met with a _crater_ on the floor.

" _Goodness_!" Toriel exclaimed, dropping her purse and covering her mouth in absolute shock.

She stared at the crater with wide eyes. She- she tried to think before anything, to- to understand, to know what on earth could have possibly happened for the kitchen to be in such state- why, why did it look like a- a _fight_ had happened in there?!

Toriel then realized something...

Where- where were Sans and Papyrus?!

She rushed upstairs, running as fast as she could in order to find their bedrooms. Papyrus's was awfully disorganized and empty, she even checked the closet, as it was open, only to find no one inside.

"Papyrus?!" Toriel cried his name.

She then aimed for Sans's bedroom, which had no Sans, either. She panted and felt tears of desperation filling her horrified eyes as she looked everywhere to find the skeleton brothers. They- they were _gone_!

"Sans! Papyrus!!" She called their names again, only to receive no answer whatsoever.

"Mom?" Frisk called them, sounding tired for perhaps having to run after Toriel.

She looked through them instead, going downstairs and running in order to go outside. She nearly fell on the crater on the kitchen floor, and opened the door to the garden. They weren't outside either.

"SANS!" Toriel screamed as loud as she could. "PAPYRUS!!"

She kept calling their names, over and over...

... but nobody came.

Tears rolled down her face. No, they couldn't have disappeared, they- they had to be somewhere, somewhere near home-

She couldn't lose them, she couldn't lose them again, not again, _not again_ , _**not again**_ -

**_Mom..._ **

 

**_I-I'm... sorry..._ **

**_I'm sorry..._ **

 

**_No...! No!_**

**_NO!!_ **

 

"Mom!"

She felt someone shaking her body in order to draw her attention. Frisk stared at her, frightened.

"Mom, w-what happened?" Frisk asked.

Toriel sobbed loudly and fell on her knees.

"I-I-I d-don't know!" She answered, crying unstoppably. "I don't _know_!"

She couldn't stop crying. She could already feel their dust dirtying her hands as she grieved, felt the entire world falling apart, falling right above her-

Toriel couldn't understand. The skeleton brothers were gone, the kitchen was destroyed and- and she didn't know what the _hell_ had happened-

She wasn't there to protect them, to stop them from doing whatever they were planning on doing, she failed them, she failed again, again, AGAIN-

 

A familiar ringtone played somewhere.

Toriel didn't take long to... to recognize her cell phone ringing.

She heard footsteps distancing from her.

"Mom!" Frisk called her, running to her again. "Mom, i-it's Sans! He's calling!"

Toriel's sobs suddenly ceased.

She didn't think twice before taking her cell phone from Frisk. The device vibrated and the ringtone kept on playing. Sans's name was on the screen and, behind it, that same photo of him smiling to the camera.

Toriel immediately answered her phone, but didn't say a word once she heard Sans's deep, concerned voice.

"tori? oh jeez, i'm sorry," He spoke. "i'm really sorry, i- i didn't realize that you were calling me, i-"

She suddenly started laughing. Laughing and sobbing at the same time. She hadn't felt happier to hear Sans speaking. The skeleton then interrupted his constant rambling.

"toriel? tori, a-are you _crying_?" He asked. "w-what happened?"

"Oh, thank goodness!" Toriel couldn't stop laughing, but it was not funny. Something serious had happened, perhaps not to Sans, but maybe even to **Papyrus** , yet _she couldn't stop_.

"I-I thought- I thought you were-!"

"woah, woah," Sans interrupted her. "toriel, _what_ -"

"Sans, w-where are you?" Toriel asked. "I-Is Papyrus with you? A-Are you two alright-?!"

" _toriel_ ," Sans spoke seriously, though sounding rather breathless. "oh my god, _what happened_?"

"I- I don't know! I j-just got home and I found the kitchen completely _destroyed_!"

"w- **what**?!"

"I-I couldn't find either of you anywhere, I thought you were-!"

"wait, p-papyrus, he- he is NOT home?!"

"N-No! I- wait," Toriel frowned once she realized. "What do you mean? I-Isn't he with you?"

"n- no! oh my god, _oh my god_ -"

"Why- _why_ aren't you here?" Toriel asked.

"i- i had to do some stuff, i w-wasn't going to be gone for so long a-and-! UGH, i didn't expect he would run away and-!"

"A-Are you SERIOUS?!" Toriel suddenly raised her voice, startling Frisk, who was right beside her. "You left your brother _ALONE_?!"

"no! no, no, i- i was just going to-!"

"You were **supposed** to be here!" Toriel yelled furiously, feeling anger boiling inside of her. "Now he's gone and you- you just- you just LEFT without even knowing what happened?!"

"h-how was i supposed to know that something like THAT was going to happen?!" Sans asked, feeling attacked.

"You TOLD me you were going to take care of him!"

"i know! i didn't lie, i- i just-!"

"ENOUGH EXCUSES!" Toriel didn't want to know anymore. "You better get here **RIGHT NOW**!"

" _toriel_ -!"

Toriel hung up right in his face. He'd better get there or else she was going to hunt him down-

She couldn't believe he could do something like that! Something awful could have happened to his brother and yet Sans hadn't done  _anything_ to stop it, he- he was simply gone and-!

Goodness, what if _someone_ had hurt Papyrus? Maybe- Maybe that someone Asgore had talked about in their visit to his house-

What if they broke into their house and **attacked** Papyrus?! It- It might explain why the door was open-!

Her thoughts were then interrupted by the sound of someone gasping behind her. Toriel immediately turned around, finding Sans staring at the crater on the floor with frightened eyes.

"I- I can't BELIEVE you, Sans!" Toriel growled, approaching Sans in an aggressive way. "Someone could have entered here and hurt Papyrus and- and you just left him ALONE-!"

"t-toriel, y- you don't understand, i-!"

"What?! That I'm too stupid to not believe in your lies?!"

"you don't get it-!"

"WHAT?!"

"he tried to ATTACK me, goddammit!"

Sans was actually able to hush her with those words. Toriel stared at him with shock.

"W... What?" She asked.

Sans panted, his left eye glowing for a moment, which might show how stressed he actually was at the moment.

"i- i was afraid, toriel-" He continued. "i was afraid of him actually KILLING me!

"i-i tried to help him earlier today and he panicked out of nowhere and- and he actually _attacked_ me! i- i could have DIED!"

Toriel's eyes widened even more once she noticed the tears forming on Sans's eyesockets. Her skeleton friend definitely wasn't one to cry, at least since no one had ever saw him crying before. She had never seen Sans so... so tense, to afraid and desperate, and confused, and _lost_ -

Oh, goodness, he- he wasn't lying.

"but i- i didn't actually want to leave him alone, i didn't- i didn't think that this," Sans pointed at the crater and looked all around the kitchen, still panting. "that THIS could possibly happen!"

For a moment, Toriel thought that... that what had happened to the kitchen was when Papyrus... had attacked Sans. But considering Sans's reaction... it was clear that he hadn't witnessed anything there.

"i didn't even go to grillby's, i just- i just went out to get some air and to cool my head, i- i even thought of cooking something for him to cheer him up, i-!"

Sans started sobbing uncontrollaby. Toriel felt the anger inside her fading away. She immediately felt regret taking control over her as she watched Sans in such a vulnerable state, in contrast to how relaxed he always seemed to be.

"oh my god, i- i'm really sorry, god, h- how could i mess this up?!" Sans asked, though it appeared that he was yelling at himself. "w-who the **fuck** cares if i was afraid, i- i still left him alone, i shouldn't have done that-!"

"Sans-"

"i'm the worst brother EVER!" Sans hid his face in utter shame.

"Sans..."

Toriel touched his shoulder gently, much to his surprise. His eyes were full of tears, his cheekbones awfully wet. His bones rattled in fear as well.

"Oh, Sans, I'm sorry-" She said. "I-I'm sorry for yelling at you, I didn't-!"

"no, y-you're right, i- i **was** supposed to be taking care of him and i just- i just cared about myself again and i allowed him to be in danger, i-!"

Toriel pulled him for a tight hug. Sans didn't return it at first, as he couldn't stop cursing himself under his breath. She felt her sins crawling her back, as she hadn't even thought of how Sans was feeling about all this. **Of course** he was afraid, of course he was rather confused and even felt useless for not being able to help his brother- How could she be so _insensitive_?

And Lord, to think of Papyrus getting to the point of... of attacking his own brother... it was no wonder why Sans was so _frightened-_  She couldn't even imagine.

"I'm sorry." Toriel repeated.

"i'm- i'm a piece of _shit_ -" Sans muttered. "i'm so fucking useless, i-"

"Sans, you were afraid, I- I understand why you left, but-"

"i'm sorry, _i'm sorry_ -" Sans repeated, over and over...

"Sans... Sans, stop," Toriel said. "I... I understand you are regretful, but...

"... but that is not the point now."

Toriel released him, but their faces were still close to one another.

"We cannot just stand here, blaming ourselves for what happened." She continued. "We must find out what happened in the first place, before... jumping to any conclusions."

Only then she... she realized that. Toriel had allowed the grief, the trauma and desperation taking over her, which caused her to make very risky decisions. She had completely abandoned her ex-husband and had... said so many awful things to him. She had blamed him for what had happened to their precious children. Goodness, she was doing the same thing to her "punny" friend.

Of course, Sans was still wrong for leaving Papyrus alone. But... she couldn't quite blame him. Sans tried. He tried so hard, yet he was utterly horrified and lost. Toriel hadn't thought of him at first, which lead her to just... blame him before knowing the facts.

"Again, I'm very sorry for... for blaming you." Toriel said. "Nobody is guilty here, Sans. Even... even if you did leave your brother on his own, that doesn't mean that everything that happened to him is your fault.

"But this is not what we should focus on, do you understand?"

Sans sniffled and nodded, remaining silent for a long time. They gazed at each other quietly.

"y-yeah," He said. "yeah, y-you're right."

Toriel gave him a patient, sad smile. She was still awfully scared, but if they just stopped to think, maybe they could find an answer pretty fast. Maybe Papyrus was still... around. She hadn't found dust anywhere in the house, which... which might be a good sign. Or... maybe not. But they couldn't just blame themselves and yell at each other when Papyrus was gone. That was not going to take them anywhere.

"you're right," Sans repeated, sounding a little more... confident.

Toriel nodded. Though, honestly, the problem about all this was that... literally anything could have happened - either Papyrus had had a panic attack and started attacking on the kitchen when nobody had been there in fact, considering that he had attacked Sans out of nowhere... or someone did enter the house and had actually harmed Papyrus.

Whatever had happened, they _were_ going to find out.

"We'd better hurry." Toriel suggested. "Maybe we could ask the neighbours whether they heard anything or... or they could've seen him."

Sans nodded, sniffling again. "yeah, s-sure. okay."

She then noticed that Frisk was still there. The child only watched them in silence, their eyes expressing shock and quiet desperation. Toriel sighed deeply, ruffling their hair.

"We will find him." Toriel assured them. "S... Something tells me that... Papyrus was the one that... did this. On his own. Maybe he's... still out there."

Frisk then stared at the crater on the kitchen floor. Toriel found herself gazing at it as well, and Sans stared at it with empty, dark eyesockets. The goat then shook herself out of the trance, focusing on what really mattered.

"Come on, you two," Toriel called them, pulling them both gently.

The three of them left the destroyed kitchen and headed to the front door, facing the sky that became darker and darker within time.

* * *

He had lost track of time. The sky was darker than he had last checked. Night was approaching, as well as some dark, gray clouds, which let him know that rain was on its way.

Well. Not that it mattered, anyway.

Papyrus sighed deeply as he walked. The city was strangely deserted that day, or perhaps strangers were rather unwilling to approach him. That was... good, though. Papyrus really wasn't in the mood to have contact with anyone.

The wind blew against his baggy, monochromatic clothing. The sunlight was gradually disappearing, no longer iluminating the darkness inside Papyrus's SOUL.

He didn't know where he was going, but as long as he was far away from home, then it was great.

Papyrus didn't even bring his cell phone with him. He was aware that his friends were going to call him. Or... maybe not. He didn't even know whether Sans was going back home any sooner. Maybe he was just drinking ketchup until it leaked out of his bones. But Toriel and the others...

...

Papyrus merely closed his eyes for a moment. He didn't know why he was still worrying about that. He knew that, if he came back, his friends would be in danger. He didn't even want to imagine their reactions when they found the kitchen in that state. Part of him hoped that no one was home yet. Just... not yet.

But he would be outside as long as he needed to. So that everyone was safe. So that... there was no longer another _burden_ for them to worry.

Papyrus took a deep breath, so that he could... at least have a moment for himself.

...

 

_**You are pathetic ** _

He looked everywhere around him.

There wasn't anyone.

But his senses were tingling.

_**This is all just a game** _

****Papyrus shook his head.

_**You think that ignoring me will make me go away?** _

********_STOP,_  He thought. _STOP, STOP, **STOP** -! _

_**You really do not get it, do you?** _

_**You cannot get rid of me, Papyrus**_

_**But I can get rid of you, over and over, and over, AND OVER** _

_**AND OVER** _

_**A N D  O V E R** _

 

" _SHUT UP!!_ "

The skeleton panted in anger, his eyes close to shining orange and his hands turning into fists that were close to _flaming_ magic.

... that is, until he realized the way a few people that came across stared at him.

Papyrus looked around him. They looked... quite startled. Some even distanced right away, others shared glances with one another, even whispering something to each other's ears.

There was nothing dark between them. They were simply ordinary people, living their ordinary lives, except that Papyrus was actually _scaring_ them.

The skeleton lowered his head in shame and walked forward pretty fast, managing to ignore such contact with strangers. He felt the entire world staring at him, which was definitely not a very nice feeling. He didn't even look at his front, not minding whether people were going to bump into him or not - in fact, they all dodged him.

Despite this, a small part of him - a dark, frightened, spot in him - was telling him that... that he was being followed.

 _THERE'S NOTHING BEHIND YOU_ ,He assured himself.

Still, he walked in a fast pace, without looking back whatsoever.

* * *

The sky's colors gradually changed to a darker blue, mixed with a few tones of gray due to the clouds that arrived throughout time. Papyrus had no idea of how long he had walked, but he eventually slowed down once he was sure that no one was looking at him that way anymore. He felt a bit more relaxed, especially as he hadn't heard anything- _anyone_ else that could possibly be following him. Though he did look behind him every now and then, just in case...

Papyrus felt a calm breeze, hearing the leaves rustling within it. Interestingly enough, it didn't actually seem that a storm was bound to form. The clouds were dark indeed, but there was nothing such as a strong wind; perhaps it was only a cold front, which might result in a mere drizzle, but he wasn't so sure himself.

The street was rather quiet. Not many cars were driving around. There were more people walking instead and there wasn't much talking, either. It was... quite soothing. Papyrus didn't feel the need to hide himself anymore, even though he was quite ashamed of himself. People didn't mind him now, anyway.

Papyrus felt the wind in his bones, reaching his spine and giving him chills - whether they were good or bad, he didn't give much thought to it. His hands were hidden inside his pockets, which were empty, if not for some money that he had left in there for quite a long time - he had only realized that only a few minutes ago.

He was probably very far from home by now. He had walked quite a lot and hadn't even found a map or anything to locate himself.

Well, the further he was, better.

...

Something inside him screamed.

It... was that odd feeling again.

...

... hunger.

Of course.

Papyrus hadn't eaten anything since he left home. The spaghetti... had been a failure.

His hunger was even worse now. For a moment, he felt weaker again, nearly tripping. Fortunately, he was able to keep in balance thanks to a tree that was close to him.

Papyrus took a deep breath before continuing his way. Much to his relief, a grocery store wasn't far from there. He picked the money bills that were inside his pocket. Hopefully, he would be able to buy enough snacks or... whatever suited him (he wasn't a fan of snacks himself; his brother was one to eat such unhealthy things, but, since he wouldn't be returning home, there wasn't anything that he could really eat other than... industrialized food), as well as a drink.

Papyrus pushed the heavy door slowly, as his entire body was drained. He nearly fell on the ground again, but at least he didn't draw anyone's attention. There weren't many people, though.

The environment was warmer. It was nothing but a regular store, though being smaller than he had expected. There wasn't much to buy, either; there was a great variation of candies, snacks, soups and... well, the basic for someone to live.

Papyrus didn't really have anything in mind. He merely walked around, searching for whatever he wished to consume. He looked all over, seeking for his favorite food, which... he didn't know. It was weird, really.

Though he did find something... interesting.

Instant oatmeal with what appeared to be... dinosaur eggs?

He would have actually grabbed it... if not for the fact that, according to the box, he had to prepare it at home.

What a shame...

...

Papyrus didn't really find anything appeasing. He was _dying_ of hunger, yet nothing pleased him.

He groaned quietly, feeling rather stressed for not thinking straight. His head even ached.

Suddenly, though, his eyesockets met...

... a milk bottle.

...

Papyrus found himself grabbing the bottle from the refrigerator, where many dairy products were kept. Strangely enough, that... was the only thing he thought of buying. Apart from starving, he was... thirsty as well. And quite stressed.

... which... had nothing to do with milk...?

Or maybe... it did?

Milk did relieve stress. It worked well with children - Papyrus himself had felt a lot better drinking it when he had been an energetic baby bones. Most importantly, it was full of strong bones!

... of course, he was no longer a child. Despite this, milk was... incredibly soothing. Papyrus never stopped drinking it, for that matter - it was the reason why he had gotten so tall in the first place!

The milk bottle was cold, water drops wetting his bare skeleton hands. Papyrus didn't really think twice before heading to the cashier to pay it. In the way, though, he did grab a brand-name chocolate because buying milk wasn't enough for someone who hadn't eaten at all, apart from... having, in fact, some taste for chocolate.

The human cashier gave him a weird glance before telling him the price. Papyrus probably looked terrible, but he didn't actually mind it now.

"That'll be 4,00 dollars," She said.

Papyrus gave her the money, receiving the change. He then grabbed the bag without looking at her, aware that she was giving him that look again.

Finally, he left the store, without telling her to have a nice day like he usually did, nor saying anything at all. He was way more concentrated on consuming something rather than being nice. Besides, he had been... creeping others out, so he didn't want try communicating anymore.

Papyrus was then left alone with his milk bottle and chocolate bar. He walked to an empty spot, leaning his back on a clean, white wall. There wasn't anyone walking at that time, if not for people that were on the other side of the street.

Papyrus opened the bottle and started drinking it.

It was... oddly soothing. It came to the point of him nearly forgetting everything that had been happening in his life in those rough times.

His head was literally _cooling down_ as the milk entered his bones. It was... quite peculiar. Papyrus didn't really pay attention to whether the milk was made exclusively for monsters or humans. It did differ - considering that monsters' bodies were composed of magic, human food wasn't the most adequate for them to consume, even though, strangely enough, humans could eat monster food with no problem, really. Sometimes, depending on each individual, human food had different effects on monsters.

Well, there wasn't really any proof of that; despite living on the surface and adapting quite fast, monsters still found themselves disgusted at human food. Only the bravest ones ate it at all. Even then, most doctors didn't recommend that.

But it didn't matter.

Papyrus felt... great.

He felt... alright. It was such an odd, yet... _amazing_ feeling.

To finally feel... **relieved**.

...

Unfortunately, it didn't... last long.

The bottle came to an end.

Papyrus stared at it, and even shook it to see if more milk came out. It couldn't be _already_ empty!

...

But it was.

...

He wanted more.

 _JUST ONE MORE_ , He thought. It would suffice.

Papyrus didn't even remember the chocolate bar that was still inside the bag. He ran back to the grocery store and didn't look at anything else other than milk bottles. He grabbed one and ran to the same cashier again. He nearly threw the money at her and went outside again, consuming the bottle with all his might.

That feeling was so _wonderful_. He hadn't felt so well in a long time.

All his anguishes, his insecurities... were gone for good.

He felt somewhat funny as well. But it was too **amazing** -

Each sip he took, his bones were stronger. His mind was no longer vulnerable. Confidence was resonating in his dark, frightened SOUL.

...

However, the liquid was over again.

This time it... it was faster than the first time.

He had thought that one more bottle would be enough. But he couldn't just appease himself with just two.

_He wanted more._

He **craved** more!

That feeling... it- it couldn't just end! It was truly helping!

...

Maybe... maybe one more. Just one. Or two. Or-

 _NO, THAT'S ENOUGH_ , Part of him said.

But- but his body _needed_ more!

"JEEZ, MILK WON'T DO ANY HARM," Papyrus said out loud, though not caring at all.

"... WILL IT?"

...

...

He found himself going back there again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing my grand new invention.......
> 
>  _Milkaholic Papyrus_ *jazz hands*
> 
> yeah, it sounds pretty stupid, but I grew to love this concept tbh x'D
> 
> I hope this chapter is alright, btw?? I didn't really mean to write so much and I hope the pacing is fine because it started so tense but then it completely changed, I'm sorry if it's bad ughgghughgug  
> Once again, sorry if anything is forced here hhhhhhh  
> I also have no idea how to write "alcoholic" people, it's actually my first time doing this so don't be too hard on me
> 
> also, I hope you're enjoying the fic for now??? I've been changing a lot of things in the original "script" (which is not actually written, tho I should do it sometime just to have an idea) and idk, I actually enjoy these improvements, so I wonder if you are still hooked up and all :'v
> 
> Please, do let me know of any writing mistakes! I admit I was kinda in a hurry to post this one and, though I did re-read it many times, there might be things that were left incorrect that I wasn't able to identify. Thank you!


	12. Chapter 12

Those past few days hadn't been easy at all. The humans were _heartless_ to the point of demanding to shut down the EAPM (which stood for Ebott Association of Protection of Monsters) , an organization that aimed to combat discrimination against monsters on the surface. The former captain of the Royal Guard was one of its leaders and found herself in utterly hard times to convince those damned humans that monsters needed support, to feel safe in such a hard period of acceptance from the human world. Despite all the changes, there were still rotten humans out there who dared to hurt a monster and would actually propose another WAR to cease them Underground all over again! Undyne would most certainly need help from the ambassador, Frisk, and Asgore and Toriel.

But, of course, that was _not_ the point now.

"What do you mean he's  _GONE_?!"

Undyne had nearly yelled at Sans for calling her in the middle of a tense meeting, in which the members were discussing about debating against the human opposers. But once she heard, in the skeleton's defeated tone, that her friend- **best friend** was gone, the urge to scream at him completely faded.

"i- i don't really know what happened," Sans attempted his best to explain the occurred. "the kitchen was pretty busted and papyrus was already gone when toriel and i arrived home."

"God, d-did- did SOMEONE break into the house and-?! I-If something happened to Papyrus-!"

"that's the problem, undyne - n-nobody knows what happened," Sans sighed. "toriel and i asked everyone in our street, they- they didn't hear anything, nor... saw anyone entering the house. but... some people told us that they saw papyrus walking by at some hour. i don't know if that was before or after the kitchen was damaged, though, i- i-i really don't know.

"w-we've called the police, too, but... they didn't find anything yet. either papyrus had a panic attack and attacked the kitchen on his own or someone else really was involved in this.

"we've been looking for him everywhere, but... it- it doesn't seem he's anywhere near home."

Undyne found herself mute at the moment. Her breathing was tense and shaky, her fists clenching and unclenching in anxiety. She had rarely had that strange feeling, but ever since Papyrus started showing those signs, she couldn't help feeling so uneasy at times. The fact that some bastards were trying to take monsters' rights away didn't help at all, either.

She had always had a solution, a strategy to solve problems when she had been part of the Royal Guard. Unfortunately, when it came to her best friend, she... she couldn't figure it out. Papyrus refused to get any help. He wouldn't say anything and Undyne could never know whether someone was actually hurting him - as Asgore had suspected, when he had told everyone that day.

She was trying. She **really** was trying - but... nothing came out.

...

Undyne realized that Sans was... rather silent as well. He hadn't hung up just yet, though; Undyne could even hear the police sirens and people talking, she had even... recognized Toriel's voice. But she couldn't make it to what they were saying.

The fish monster couldn't even imagine how Sans must be feeling in those times. She could hear him breathing... although she couldn't see his face, she could tell that he was frightened and probably felt useless for not being able to help his brother. Undyne couldn't lie that she wasn't as scared as he was, as she felt her chest tightening herself.

She had never felt so... disappointed in herself. She had ignored Papyrus's situation and let it all get even worse than she could've imagined - and now her best friend had disappeared and nobody was aware of him still being in pieces or...

And- and if anyone had hurt him, that little bastard was still out there, unpunished for their crimes against the flamboyant skeleton; that is, if others weren't involved in this.

Undyne was _not_ letting them get away!

"I- I'll be there," She assured Sans, after taking a deep breath. "Are you home or did you go at the police station?"

"we're at the police station, the one near muffet's bakery..." He sighed again, appearing to have lost focus as well. "we've been waiting here for a while now."

"A-Alright then, I'll be right there."

"wait, uh... i tried calling alphys, too, but... she didn't answer my calls. i don't think she has her phone near her-"

"Oh, she's- she's working on a project at the university, but I'll go pick her up." Undyne assured.

"ok." Sans didn't sound any better. "see ya, fishstick."

"... bye."

Only then did he hang up. Undyne ran back to the room where everyone else was in, and they had all appeared to be waiting for her to come back.

"I'm sorry," She immediately apologized, grabbing her jacket that was on her chair. "I must leave now. Something came up at home and I can't remain here anymore."

"B-But miss Undyne, we've been discussing-!"

"My friend is in danger!" Undyne yelled, impatient. "You can debate the matter, but _I_ won't be here!"

The other members decided not to protest against that. They didn't ask what had happened and Undyne respected that. She did feel bad for leaving so soon, but Papyrus needed her!

"Good night, everyone," Undyne said before rushing to the exit door. "I hope we can sort things out soon."

"Good luck," One of them said before the door shut behind her.

It was a matter of minutes before Undyne arrived at the bus stop. She picked her phone and texted her girlfriend, aware that Alphys would less likely answer her phone at such time. Thankfully, the bus didn't take long to appear and she entered it, aware that the bus route would take her to the Ebott College of Science. Hopefully, it would only take a few minutes to get there.

The bus was pretty empty, much to Undyne's relief. She was looking very out of herself - she realized, when she looked at her own reflection on the glass.

Undyne's hands were... shaking.

She hadn't felt so stressed in a long time.

She tried to take deep breaths and closed her only eye. However, once she opened it, she could feel it flaming. Flaming in _fury_.

Undyne gritted her pointy teeth to the window, her eye shining.

"I swear," She said under her breath, as to not let the bus driver hear, even though she was quite distant from him. "I SWEAR TO ASGORE that I'm going to find the little _shit_ that dares to hurt my best friend and I'll tear them apart in _little fucking pieces_ -!"

Undyne could already feel the spear forming on her hands, but managed to control the urge to throw spears everywhere. That wasn't going to help- she would be doing this later. First, she had to get to Alphys and everyone else, then she would hunt the enemy down.

Still-

"You better hear my words," Undyne said to the bastard, even though they weren't anywhere near her. "I will _STRIKE YOU DOWN_."

* * *

"U-Undyne?"

Alphys would have been happier to see her girlfriend, but Undyne wasn't one to break into the laboratory when she was working on her science projects. Aside from that, Undyne didn't look fine, not at all; she- looked rather distressed and desperate, as if she had run to find her. The fish monster rushed to her, at first not saying anything at all.

"Undyne, w-what's wrong? D-Did something happen?" Alphys asked, holding her... _shaky_ hands?

"Papyrus," Undyne said, breathless. "I-It's Papyrus."

Alphys's eyes widened immediately, already expecting something horrible to have occurred.

"Oh, n-no, what- w-what happened to him?"

"I- I don't really know, but- he's gone and he must be in danger right now."

Alphys gasped. "Oh no!"

The lizard didn't take long to realize that her colleagues were staring at the both of them, rather confused. Alphys turned to them.

"I-I'm sorry, guys," Alphys said. "B-But I-I have to leave now."

"Yeah, I'm- I'm sorry for interrupting your work, b- but it's an emergency."

Her co-workers looked at each other in confusion, but didn't force Alphys to stay. They were very comprehensive and allowed Alphys to go; they were pretty nice, for that matter.

The security guards only then arrived there, but, fortunately, they didn't feel the need to arrest Undyne for invading the college like that. Alphys explained what happened and they let them go. Undyne grabbed her hand afterwards and the two of them headed to the exit, then reaching the bus stop outside.

"Apparently," The fish monster said once they were finally alone. "Our kitchen was found damaged and- and Papyrus is missing. Nobody knows if someone broke into our house and harmed him and the police still haven't found anything that could lead to where he went to."

"O-Oh my god," Alphys felt herself losing breath, just to think of Papyrus being in potential danger. "D-Do you think i-it was that someone Asgore told us?"

Undyne clenched her fist. "I'm afraid so."

"D-Dear god..." Alphys whispered.

Her girlfriend was unusually silent for a moment. There was something so... unsettling about Undyne's eye. She... she looked enraged, but, at the same time, she was... scared.

Alphys didn't know what to do to make her feel better. Especially since she was the last person to ever feel peaceful in such situation. However, she did try holding Undyne's hand gently, perhaps just to assure her that, despite everything, she would be there for her.

Undyne's hand was still shaking, which was so **unusual**. Not that Alphys could ever blame her for feeling scared for Papyrus's safety, but it was rare to find signs of fear coming from the former captain of the Royal Guard.

Alphys then remembered the others - Sans, Toriel, Frisk... where were they?

"W-Where are the others?" She asked.

Undyne wasn't very attentive, but she shook her head once she realized that Alphys was gazing at her.

"Oh, um," She cleared her throat. "They're at the police station. We're going there."

Alphys nodded. "A-Alright then."

The two were quiet again. That is, until the bus arrived. Once they found seats and were on the journey to the police station, Alphys gazed at the window while Undyne lowered her head - their hands still curled onto one another.

"I-I hope he's alright." Alphys whispered.

She felt a squeeze on her hand.

"... me too." Undyne replied, _very_ quietly.

* * *

There weren't many police stations where monsters lived, being all located in the most popular areas - close to businesses such as Muffet's bakery and Grillby's. The human government didn't exactly offer many... resources to monsters, but at least the police stations were well conserved. Actually, monsters were the ones that paid for it all, as humans took no part in... anything. Well, that wasn't important now.

Undyne was quick to acknowledge Toriel, Sans and Frisk sitting on the waiting room, looking rather exhausted and insecure. The goat woman was the first to spot the couple and immediately stood up to reach them. She... appeared to have cried.

"H-Hey guys," Alphys greeted shyly. "D-Did they find anything?"

Toriel sighed deeply while Sans shook his head.

"We've been waiting for the Dogs to return. They are trying to find Papyrus through his smell..." She said, sounding... hopeless. "But it has been such a long time now..."

Undyne glanced at Sans, whose eyesockets were pitch-black. Frisk was even quieter, their head lowered, but their eyes would be focused on them every now and then.

"O-Oh gee..." Alphys whispered.

"Well, we have done everything we could," Toriel said. "Now we ought to wait for them."

Undyne nodded quietly, sitting next to Frisk and Sans. Alphys sat beside her, holding her hand. Toriel stood on her feet, looking around to see whether anyone returned to give them new information. That was not the case...

Undyne stared at the floor, not saying anything for the longest time. The police station was rather quiet, if not for the noise of the ringing telephones and police officers that would be talking to each other.

The fish monster only pondered there.

 

Papyrus was in danger.

They were all sitting there and he was... gone.

Whatever had happened to him could be extremely grave. Or even... _tragic_.

Goodness, Undyne couldn't even imagine.

That is, if someone _had_ hurt him. Which was most likely to be true.

Well. They... couldn't exactly do much now. Toriel, Sans and Frisk had already done their part, and Undyne appreciated that. The police officers were doing everything to find him as well.

...

It was just that...

... she wished she could have... _done_ more.

Papyrus was her best friend. Undyne had never, ever wanted something bad happening to him, getting to the point of not assigning him to the Royal Guard, which was something he had dreamed of - and had trained so hard to acquire!

She couldn't believe that, in the end, he would end up getting hurt.

And... she hadn't been there to prevent that from happening.

How... how was she supposed to protect monsters when she couldn't even save Papyrus?

"... I'm sorry." She whispered.

 

"W-What?"

It wasn't directed to anyone. Only... to Papyrus. But Alphys and the others had most likely heard, as they were all looking at her with concerned faces.

"I... I should have done more." Undyne said, defeated. She couldn't even bring herself to look at them anymore...

"Oh, Undyne, it's alright..." Toriel assured.

"It's _not_."

"U-Undyne, it's not your fault." Alphys squeezed her hands. "H-How could you know that i-it was going to happen?"

"It was pretty obvious, guys!" Undyne suddenly raised her voice. "Asgore even told us that someone could be HURTING him! I knew that, I knew that something bad would happen, but I didn't do _ANYTHING_ -"

"undyne, it's really not your fault," Sans interrupted. "i mean, like, you are always struggling to fight for monsters' rights, you aren't expected to be-!"

"But he's my _BEST FRIEND_!" Undyne screamed. "I was supposed to be there for him, to help him, and- and I just ignored it all until I realized the SHIT I've done-!"

"U-Undyne, it's- it's okay-"

"IT'S NOT OKAY, DAMMIT!"

Undyne felt something... odd forming on her eye.

Something... wet. And _burning_.

She could even feel that coming from her other eye - which couldn't ever open.

She felt herself breaking.

 

As well as two arms trying to put her together.

"Undyne..."

Alphys pulled her closer while Undyne's voice broke into sobs. The lizard didn't try telling her anything else, she just... stayed there for her. Let her cry, sob, scream-

They remained that way for who knew how long. It did help her, though, to let out her regret, her guilt-

Alphys wasn't trying to assure her that it was alright. Because they all knew that... none of that was okay.

"H-Honestly," Her girlfriend pushed her to face her. "W-We... we are a-all to blame. And r-really, we're all regretful, we can't j-just... assume that it's okay.

"But now... a-all we must do is wait."

"She's right," Toriel said. "Literally anything could have happened. Not... n-not that it's a good thing, but... I have the feeling that maybe... maybe Papyrus is okay. He could have simply... gone out there to get some fresh air or something else."

"yeah..." Sans intervened, his eyes widening at certain realization.

"wait, actually," He continued. "some of the holes and cracks on the kitchen walls were actually... covered with paint. as if someone tried to hide them. i... kinda think that it was just papyrus. not someone else."

Undyne looked at him with certain surprise, not saying anything.

"still, though," Sans said. "that doesn't mean everything is... okay. papyrus might still be fearing someone, so we should be careful."

"Y-Yeah, you g-guys are right!" Alphys commented. "You s-see, there's s-still hope."

Undyne couldn't quite... tell that she was feeling better. But... part of her told her that... maybe it would all be okay in the end.

Maybe... Papyrus was alright.

...

"Yeah, I... guess." Undyne said quietly, not sure how to feel.

Alphys's smile faded, but she didn't really insist on the idea anymore, as she was patient.

"I... really hope you're right." Undyne admitted.

"same..." Sans sighed.

"Yeah, well... we just have to stay here. They will return with an answer sooner or later."

Undyne nodded, not actually arguing with that. The Dogs, having been part of the Royal Guard and being her greatest friends, were truly capable of searching things through smelling. She had seen them in action, and they were, in fact, greatly skilled.

Well. There... was still hope indeed.

... still, though... she couldn't help but still... feel regretful for not... doing more for him.

But if they were right and if Papyrus was still out there, then- she promised she would do her best!

...

Undyne remained silent aftewards, not wishing to continue the conversation anymore as she was rather thoughtful. The others respected that, so they all ended it there. Alphys was still close to her and Undyne allowed such contact.

* * *

He knew he couldn't do much for now... but someone had once told him that sometimes, pie and tea, along with a nice chat was the best to do when someone was feeling down.

Asgore had just gotten into his car in order to go home, having stayed a little later at school that day and gone to the supermarket as there had been many things to be bought. And only at the market had he had the idea of... baking something for Papyrus.

He knew he was still getting the hang of baking at all. He could never be as good as Toriel, but he felt that it was needed. He thought of calling Papyrus to come over to his house, so they could have a nice, long chat. Asgore had the feeling that Papyrus was probably very lonely those times, as he had seemed so distant from his friends.

The former king had been forced to go somewhere further to find a supermarket that offered products made for monsters, though it mainly contained human ones. There wasn't one near his home, so there was also that factor as to why he had taken so long; apart from the fact that it had been crowded, with all the humans and monsters, in separate lines... and sections. Thankfully, he had once heard they would be building a supermarket that would be more accessible to monsters in his neighborhood, so he was looking forward to it.

Asgore was still distant from home, as he had just finished buying what was needed. He took a deep breath, feeling a little tired after such long day, but he started feeling better as he was eager to go home to work on his pie for Papyrus. Despite everything, he had the feeling that the skeleton would love that! Then maybe they could sort things out and Asgore would be able to do something. Papyrus seemed to enjoy his company, after all.

Thankfully, once he was finally distancing from the supermarket, the traffic gradually got better. Asgore drove carefully and calmly, listening to a uplifting tune in the radio. He was... feeling rather confident now, in contrast to how... insecure he had felt about Papyrus's situation. Well, not that he was completely better, but the idea of baking a pie had hit him all of a sudden and he was really fond of it. Only then had his mood actually improved.

The night was rather... calm. There was a mere drizzle at some hour, but it was barely visible. Asgore couldn't tell if it was still raining. The sky was cloudy and dark, but not in a bad way. Despite enjoying a sunny day, sometimes he liked a little rain; or even just clouds covering the sun.

Honestly, he loved the surface. Even though there were... difficulties in the process of adaptation, he admired the sky, the sun, the rain, the clouds- everything. It was all wonderful!

Asgore headed forward with a... hopeful smile. Although he was eager to bake the pie, he didn't feel like speeding up; he hated doing such thing, that some mean drivers would do on the traffic. Asgore would, at times, look at everyone that walked on the streets, laughing with each other, or just thinking about life when they were on their own. Whether they were human or monster, they were all ordinary people.

Though...

Asgore couldn't help slightly... frowning at someone in particular.

That someone was walking in... a strange way. As if they nearly had no balance. They wore dark, monochromatic and baggy clothing, which seemed that they weren't quite taking care of themself.

Once some humans passed by that person and bumped on them, they turned around and tripped.

...

Wait a second-!

"P-Papyrus?!" Asgore let out.

He immediately stopped the car once he recognized him. Papyrus, why- why was he out there, so far from home? And god- judging by the way he walked and the face he had, even though Asgore had given him a mere glance...!

Asgore opened the car door wide and reached Papyrus, helping him get up.

"Papyrus? Papyrus, a-are you alright?" He asked, worried.

The skeleton started... chuckling?

He looked at Asgore, hiccuping. He... smiled.

"ASGOOOORE," Papyrus said, his voice... so unsettlingly _happy_.

Asgore should have been happy, right?

... no.

 _No_.

There was something wrong. He **knew** that.

"OOOH, HOW DISRESPECTFUL OF ME!" Papyrus cleared his throat and even changed his tone: "YOUR MAJESTY~"

Papyrus laughed again, as if calling him by "Asgore" were...  _that_ funny.

Asgore couldn't bring himself to smile. It was all so unnatural- his skeleton friend had been so aggressive and distant, and afraid, and-! There was no way he could become so cheerful all of a sudden!

Papyrus hiccuped again, _still_ laughing. Asgore merely stared at him, rather shocked. How did he get there? And- _why_ was he out there? Why was he so... _relaxed_?

...

Oh.

Oh, _no_.

That- that couldn't be it...!

Asgore didn't know much of... how it was to consume alcohol excessively - but he was aware of the symptoms, as he had read about it and even heard it on the news...

...

Oh, no, no, no, **no**!

"HEY," Papyrus called his attention, tapping his face. "WHY ARE YOU SAD??"

Asgore didn't answer. He- He knew that... that Papyrus was... vulnerable to dangerous things, but- but it had never crossed his mind that he could ever... do something as such!

Sometimes it had no turning back, it- it would become an addiction, it could-!

"COME ON, NOW!" Papyrus tried again, letting go of Asgore and attempting to dance. He then... started _singing_ , along with hiccups:

"HERE'S A LITTLE SONG I WROTE, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SING IT NOTE FOR NOTE...

"DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY~"

He started laughing again, nearly tripping. Asgore was quick this time and prevented his fall.

"GOOD CATCH, MY KING!" Papyrus gave him a thumbs up.

"O-Oh my god," Asgore finally said, losing his breath for a moment. "Papyrus, what- w-what did you _do_?"

"WHAT?? I'M JUST HAVING FUN! I'M FEELING GREAT!!" Papyrus actually burped this time, accidentally on... Asgore's face.

Only then was he able to recognize the smell...

It reminded him of... of...!

...

... milk?

...

Wait, what?

Was Asgore crazy or was Papyrus actually drunk on _milk_?

...

No, that- that didn't matter now!

Did anyone even _know_ he was there?

"WOW, YOUR BEARD IS BIG," Papyrus snorted, trying to touch Asgore's beard.

"Papyrus," The goat breathed heavily. "Where- where have you been?"

"I JUST WENT TO HAVE SOME FUN DOWN THERE!" He pointed at a direction. "AFTER ALL, TODAY HAS BEEN REALLY CRAZY! I EVEN FOUGHT A DEMON!"

Asgore blinked at that last sentence.

"... you did _what_?"

"YEAH! THERE WAS A SCARY DEMON HOME AND I DEFEATED THEM WITH MY SUPER SPECIAL ATTACK!..." Papyrus slightly frowned then. "WELL, THE KITCHEN ENDED UP BUSTED, BUT STILL! I WAS A _HERO_ \- *HIC*!"

"W-What on earth-?"

Was Papyrus making that up? When people were under the effect of alcohol, they... tended to say some pretty nonsensical things... but sometimes...

... oh, god.

"I-I should take you home," Asgore said.

"WHAT??? AW, NO!!" Papyrus whined. "COME ON, THEY'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M NOT *HIC* BIG ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING! REALLY, EVEN MY *HIC* BROTHER STILL THINKS I'M A BABY!"

The skeleton actually struggled to escape, but Asgore was far stronger than him. He guided him to his car.

"AWW, PLEAAAASEEE..." Papyrus whined again.

The goat sighed deeply. "I'm... doing this for your own good, Papyrus."

"IT WOULD BE GOOD IF YOU LET ME BE! I'M NOT A BABYBONES!!"

"Come on now."

Asgore actually gave him a stern look, as if he were talking to a stubborn child. Papyrus didn't really protest anymore, though, as he still followed his command, even though he frowned and crossed his arms. The former king let out another sigh and closed the door, then going to the driver seat. Once he looked at him again, the skeleton no longer frowned and was already laughing again.

"THIS IS REALLY COMFY," He said.

Asgore sighed deeply, searching his cell phone. He thought of calling Toriel, as she was already home. At first, he was... a little hesitant to do so, due to everything that had happened between them. But- but he wondered if she was aware that Papyrus was...!

"IS THAT LADY TORIEL??" Papyrus asked loudly, leaning to look at the phone screen.

Asgore felt his face getting hotter, hiding his phone. The skeleton blinked at him.

"EYYYY, I KNEW IT!!" He said. "YOU TWO STILL LOVE EACH OTHER!"

"Papyrus, please-"

"COME ON, CALL HER!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??"

Asgore shook his head. "Papyrus-"

Papyrus actually caught his cell phone in the blink of an eye and Asgore wasn't fast enough to stop him.

"IF YOU DON'T DO IT, I'M GONNA DO IT!" He said.

"Papyrus, wait-!"

Papyrus tapped the green button and put his phone near... the place that was supposed to be his ear?

Asgore couldn't take it from him, as he dodged and pushed him. Papyrus wouldn't stop laughing.

"No, don't-!!" The former king begged.

"HELLO??? OHHH, LADY TORIEL!! I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!" Papyrus laughed.

Asgore was... actually able to hear her voice, as the phone was somehow in the speaker mode.

"P-P- _Papyrus_?!"

Toriel sounded utterly shocked. Oh, dear...

"ASGORE STILL LOVES YOU!! HE WANTS YOU TO MAKE YOUR WONDERFUL PIES *HIC* AND KISS YOUR LIPS, AND WATCH THE SUNSET, AND..."

Once Papyrus was caught off guard, Asgore was quick to take his phone back.

"HEY!" The skeleton whined in protest. "GEE, WAS I EVEN LYING??? COME ON, TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL ALREADY!!"

"T... Toriel?" Asgore said, finally having his cell phone back.

"A-Asgore?? W-What- What i-is going on?! W-Was that Papyrus?!"

"Y... Yes... I was heading home when I found him on the street..."

"W-What? Oh my god-!"

"toriel, what happened?" Sans spoke in the background.

"I-It's Papyrus! Asgore found him!"

"WHAT!?" Undyne screamed.

"oh my god-! i-is he alright?!"

"A-Asgore, is he hurt?!" Toriel asked. "I-Is he-?!"

"He's... alright. I... suppose..."

Papyrus gave him two thumbs up and a wink once he glanced at him. Asgore sighed deeply.

"Oh, Asgore... w-we've been worried sick! O-Our kitchen was seriously damaged and Papyrus was m-missing, w-we thought that-!"

"Wait, **what**?"

"Oh, no, I-I'm sorry, you- didn't know anything?" Toriel asked.

"N-No! I was away from home the entire day! What happened?!"

"We- we don't know! When we got home, the kitchen had burnt food on the ground and many holes, and cracks, a-and Papyrus was already gone when we arrived, we- we looked for him everywhere, we thought s-something serious happened, w-we- we believed that someone could have hurt him!"

Asgore was silent for a moment. How... how come he hadn't known anything?! He had no idea that something so grave like that had happened-!

... wait.

Oh, god.

The... demon Papyrus had talked about...

... could that be...?!

"W-Where are you?" Asgore asked.

"W-We're at the police station, t-the one near Muffet's bakery!"

"Alright," Asgore tried to breathe. "Alright, I-I'll be there soon."

"Oh my god," Toriel sounded to be... crying. "T-Thank you so _much_ , Asgore, thank you..."

"Y... You're welcome."

"We- We'll be waiting here! B-Bye!"

Toriel hung up. Asgore blinked many times, then gazing at Papyrus, who seemed... rather disappointed.

"GEE, FLUFFYBUNS! YOU GOTTA OPEN THAT HEART ONE DAY!!" He yelled, sounding unpleased.

Asgore sighed deeply, as Papyrus still insisted on _that_ topic...

"SHE LOVES YOU, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH~" Papyrus sang again.

The former king felt himself even more exhausted... sure, he had been the King of the Underground, and had taken care of two children, yet... he had never taken care of a drunk person before...

Asgore couldn't even imagine how everyone else was feeling. To find the house damaged, to find no Papyrus whatsoever and believe that he had been kidnapped or even...!

The _demon_  he had fought... either that was a real person or... perhaps it was a hallucination of his? Or words out of the... milk? Asgore couldn't tell...

Well.

They ought to leave soon. They were all waiting for them.

He knew he couldn't ask any details regarding what actually happened to Papyrus at that moment. The skeleton was too out of himself... he kept on singing, until the goat turned the radio on and a soothing version of... a brazilian (if his memory was correct) song started playing. Papyrus actually became so quiet, it... genuinely confused Asgore. The skeleton started humming the rhythm.

"I LIKE THAT..." Papyrus said.

The song was rather long - nearly ten minutes long -, but not tiring. Asgore enjoyed that kind of music. Papyrus was rather silent while listening to the music, ceasing his humming after some time.

Asgore still thought of knowing further details. He still tried to imagine what could have happened, but he knew he wouldn't be getting those any sooner.

The ride was then calm. They weren't far from the police station now. 

Everything was quiet...

...

until, at the very end of the song...

... he heard... snoring?

Once they stopped by a red light, Asgore looked at his side. Papyrus... had fallen asleep.

...

That... was fast...

Well. Alcohol was really weird.

Or... milk.

...

Goodness.

That was probably one of the craziest days in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, I never felt like I've done Undyne enough justice. I've never stopped to make headcanons for her life on the surface or even... analyze her character as a whole. It's a shame because I really like Undyne, but I've actually never written in her POV (it was different in my previous fic, _Imaginary Friend_ , it wasn't as deep as it is here). I hope it still fits her, though.
> 
> And don't get me wrong, but I believe "Don't Worry Be Happy" would be one of Papyrus's favorite songs x'D He even memorized the lyrics
> 
> Gee, how does one write alcoholic people, anyway-  
> I hope the fact that Papyrus literally fell asleep was realistic (especially since he hadn't slept for days, right...)
> 
> (and ayyy, I made a reference to my own country here xD the song in particular I imagined it to be one sung by Tom Jobim, named "Brazil", it's really good)
> 
> I still hope you're enjoying the story so far! ;v;  
> And, again, let me know of any writing mistakes.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a shorter chapter this time, because the next one will be very special. =)
> 
> For now, expect some foreshadowing and tension! And, finally, what is behind the thoughts of a certain someone...

It had all been silent for the longest time as they had waited for the return of the police Dogs (Greater Dog, Doggo and the Dogi couple formed the group). However, all of a sudden... everyone was awfully distressed, yet relieved, talking at the same time in a rather perplexing and confusing way.

Apparently, Papyrus had called Toriel through Asgore's cell phone and had started saying nonsensical things - such as telling her that Asgore still loved her (which... wasn't quite a secret to anyone, not even herself, honestly) and not ever mentioning what had happened back home. According to the goat woman, Papyrus had sounded... oddly happy and... _relaxed_. As if nothing had even happened for him to run away in the first place.

Of course, it was quite a relief to hear that Asgore had found Papyrus and they were on their way to the police station at the moment. Still - Papyrus's voice and mood were two things to be considered. They didn't quite have an answer for them, as... they were monsters. But there was... a possibility, in the eyes of a human.

Nonstop laughter, hiccups, silly topics...

Those weren't... memories Frisk was very fond of.

Especially when, in their case... _he_ had become not only sociable, but...

... no, that- that wasn't the focus.

Anyway... they hadn't heard Papyrus. At least, not much; but they had made it to his voice tone and there was no other answer, from their point of view.

Frisk had thought of bringing such speculation up, but... they couldn't bring themself to open their mouth. Everyone was already tense - even Sans was, which was quite the opposite of his relaxed, apathetic behaviour. Perhaps they would figure it out sooner or later, since it was a matter that was discussed several times in the news.

They all attempted to discover what had brought Papyrus to destroy the kitchen and run away, apart from... how he had spoken in that phone call. Frisk was the only one that did not speak at all costs.

In the end, their conversation was no longer that loud. Especially as the police officers would glare at them, which was a clear sign that they were disturbing their work. Not that the monster family was to blame, anyway.

Frisk only stared at them, not knowing what to say. Nobody really bothered to ask why they were absolutely quiet - if not for Toriel, but she had already asked such thing earlier that day and she knew she wouldn't be getting an answer any sooner. Still, she was the only one that would glance at Frisk now and then, in spite of her desperation. The human child would sigh and look away everytime she did so.

Frisk sat there while the rest stood in front of them, their conversation gradually turning into nonsensical noises. Frisk no longer found their brain focused on that any longer.

It... had been like that for some time, now. Every now and then would Frisk space out which, of course, compromised their status at school.

Frisk was known for being a great student, having some of the highest grades in their class. However, that day had turned out to be different. Frisk would feel something quite... odd in their stomach and they wouldn't be looking at their teacher explaining a subject on the blackboard. The teachers had certainly noticed this, but, thankfully enough, none of them had brought this up to Toriel. Maybe they had all thought it was just a bad day, and that Frisk would eventually get better.

That... wouldn't be really the case.

It had been that way since Friday. Ever since they had had their cooking lesson with Papyrus, Frisk hadn't been feeling quite well. They had gone to Monster Kid's house last Saturday, but they hadn't been very concentrated. Even their monster friend had noted that, but the human had avoided to talk about... the topic.

In fact, Frisk had... even overheard Sans and Papyrus fighting in the previous night. Goodness, it had been awful. They had never seen Papyrus behave in such an aggressive way before. He had said such _horrible_ things to his brother and, in the end, had locked himself in his bedroom and hadn't even slept. Frisk had then heard Alphys going to his bedroom, but they had spoken in lower voices, so the human child couldn't quite hear.

Then... Papyrus had done _that_.

He had attacked the kitchen with all his might. Cracks all over the walls and furniture, that... huge **hole** on the floor...

Asgore... had talked about... someone possibly harming Papyrus. He hadn't said anything else since Papyrus had interrupted that conversation. Since then, everyone was trying to find out who could be the responsible to it all.

...

Frisk didn't have a good feeling about this.

**_F... F-FRISK? W... WHAT ARE YOU...?_ **

In the very start, Papyrus had looked awfully _terrified_. Frisk had only grabbed the knife to cut the vegetables when the skeleton's eyes had suddenly widened in horror. He had even stepped back, to... keep **distance** from them.

**_F-FRISK?_ **

**_W-WAIT! FRISK, WHY- W-WHAT'S WITH THAT SMILE?_ **

That... _smile_...

**_W-WHY ARE YOU ACTING THIS W-WAY?!_ **

**_I-IT'S ME, PAPYRUS! YOUR FRIEND!!_ **

The tone of his voice... it had sounded like he... was seeing Frisk about to do something _horrible_.

**_W-WAIT, NO, D- D-DON'T DO THIS!_ **

**_D-DROP THIS KNIFE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!_ **

**_I-IF THIS IS SOME KIND OF JOKE, I-IT'S NOT FUNNY!!_ **

Frisk had only stared at him, lost. They hadn't understood why, why had Papyrus behaved that way, why had been- why was he _scared_ of them?

He had screamed for his life afterwards. He had begged for them to... not hurt him.

After the incident, Papyrus hadn't even looked at them straight in the eye. When he had finally done so, he had screamed for his life again and tried to _defend_ himself.

Since then, the two didn't even look like they knew each other anymore. Papyrus didn't behave the same way anymore. He didn't **look** at them the same way he did before.

Frisk had kept it all to themself. Even if others were desperate, even if they didn't have any idea of what was going on and were completely freaking out to find out, Frisk would never bring themself to speak up.

Because... it couldn't be truth.

Frisk was probably making it all up. Maybe it... had nothing to do with them. Of course, what Papyrus was going through was still awful and concerning, and should not be put aside. However, if... if Frisk actually had their part in... whatever could possibly be terrifying him...

No...

Part of Frisk wanted to deny everything. Papyrus couldn't know it, he- he couldn't possibly-! Nobody did!

If... not for Flowey, perhaps...

S-Still! That was different!

Papyrus couldn't... _remember_...

No monster ever did so!

Though... their friends did have some sort of... deja vú vibe, it... had never led anyone to act that way towards Frisk.

It couldn't be true! Frisk couldn't have anything to do with that!

That was not the case! It... couldn't be...!

 

"Frisk! Frisk, can you listen to me?"

The human jumped at Toriel's worried voice and the feeling of soft paws placed on their tense shoulders. Frisk hadn't realized they were feeling... hot. Their forehead was slightly sweaty, for that matter. The rest of the monsters noticed Toriel trying to comfort them as well.

"Jeez, you look like you're going to pass out at any moment," Undyne noted, looking at them carefully.

"Y-You started s-saying many things under y-your breath, too..." Alphys added. "A-And you were c-crying, too."

Frisk dried their eyes, feeling the hidden tears wetting their shaky hands.

"S-Sorry," The child whispered.

"Oh, Frisk... it's alright." Toriel sighed. "We... we are all very tense... t-though, at least, Papyrus and Asgore will arrive soon."

Frisk merely nodded.

"Would you like some water?" She asked gently.

Frisk nodded again, gulping.

"A-Alright, I'll be right back." Toriel said, rushing to the water filter in the same room.

Frisk let out a sniff, avoiding others' looks. Nobody forced them to speak, though, so they remained quiet, much to Frisk's relief.

Eventually, Toriel returned with some water and handed it to Frisk, who drank it a bit fast. They couldn't quite breathe well, either. Toriel sat beside them in silence, her hand reaching their back. She sighed deeply afterwards.

"Um, Toriel?" Undyne called her. "Since... Papyrus is alright and all that, then... are we taking him home? Because, you know... w-with the kitchen destroyed and the police... investigating..."

"Oh, right... there's that, too..."

Frisk glanced at them quietly, drinking the water calmly now.

"maybe we could... i dunno, sleep somewhere else?" Sans suggested.

"Well, that is not a bad idea, but... where could it be?"

"i thought that-"

"Toriel! Everyone!"

Frisk no longer felt Toriel's hand on their back as she stood up and gasped when she acknowledged a familiar voice. Everyone rushed to where the voice came from. Frisk followed them, but... in a slower way.

Asgore had finally arrived. On his arms lied... Papyrus. He was... unawake. He no longer wore the battle body, instead some... baggy, dark clothing, that didn't quite... fit his cheerful personality. Toriel looked at him, horrified.

"Oh, dear god! I-Is he-?!"

Suddenly, a loud... _snore_ came from the skeleton.

"He... fell asleep." Asgore answered.

"O-Oh, I'm- I'm sorry, for a second I thought..."

"It's alright, really..."

"W-Where did you find him?" Undyne asked, getting to the point.

"Oh, I was going home after buying some groceries when I found... Papyrus walking on the street. It was... quite far from your home..." Asgore sighed. "I am afraid that Papyrus has gone somewhere to... to drink-"

"DRINK?!" Undyne raised her voice as soon as she heard that word, which clearly startled everyone else.

"W-Wait! That's not what you think it is!" Asgore immediately denied. "Well, it's... still very concerning, since he was... acting in a way that seemed that he consumed alcoholic drinks, yet... I smelled his breath and... it seems that Papyrus has actually drunk a lot of... milk."

They looked at each other in confusion. Frisk raised an eyebrow.

... milk.

How... how could someone get drunk... on milk??

Well, it... it wasn't _that_ strange - Sans had even gotten drunk on ketchup once, for crying out loud!

Then, again... it was **Papyrus**. When it came to him, it was a greater shock.

"He was drunk on _milk_?" Undyne asked in disbelief.

"in his defense, ketchup kinda has the same effect on me." Sans cleared his throat nervously.

"Anyway," Asgore continued. "He doesn't appear to be hurt."

"However..." The former king looked at Papyrus, who slept without any problem, which... was very unsettling. "He... told me some odd things..."

"like what?" Sans asked, rather anxious.

Asgore took some time to speak, as he appeared... to be confused.

"You see, I am not sure whether it was due to the alcohol- I mean, milk, yet..." He began. "Papyrus said he... fought a demon."

Everyone's eyes widened. Yet...

Frisk's heart raced once that word entered their ears.

"A... A demon?" Toriel asked.

Asgore nodded. "He said there was... a scary demon at your house and he defeated them with his... special attack? H-He even admitted to having destroyed the kitchen."

D... demon...

No, that- that couldn't be it!

Papyrus probably used that word as a mere adjective. It- It didn't have another meaning...

... did it?

"He didn't actually sound afraid when he told me, though." Asgore continued. "In fact, he was quite proud. Of course, he was... completely out of himself."

"A... a demon..." Undyne repeated. "Oh, jeez."

"H-How are we g-going to find out what- or w-who the demon is?" Alphys asked. "T-The problem i-is that... it could either b-be a real person or... o-or maybe... Papyrus i-is having severe hallucinations t-that... d-don't involve the real world."

"W-Wait, what if... Papyrus is... ill?" Toriel speculated right after Alphys spoke.

"That's the issue, everyone..." Asgore sighed again. "If we depend on our own impressions, we are not getting close to the truth. Especially since Papyrus won't be telling us anything any soon..."

"Oh dear..." Toriel said.

"I... I-I really think P-Papyrus needs some medical treatment," Alphys spoke. "I-If these episodes are getting worse at such a r-rapid rate, then..."

They all spoke at the same time, until Asgore finally suggested:

"First of all, I... I believe we should... leave."

"Oh. Oh, right..."

"in fact, i've been thinking..." Sans reached Asgore. "m... maybe we could spend some time at your house? ours is... pretty messed up..."

"Oh, you most certainly can! My house is your house. I... have been thinking the same thing, too. Especially if you need to eat something, then it is the greatest idea we have for now."

"Then w... we will discuss what to do in a more... appropriate environment." Toriel said.

Asgore nodded. "And Papyrus needs... somewhere safe and comfortable to rest."

"Alright, l-let's go, then."

They still talked about going to Asgore's house until the... Dogs finally returned to the police station. They were all in uniform and appeared to be tired from searching Papyrus for so long.

"Y-Your majesty!" Dogaressa greeted. "We heard that Papyrus was-!"

The dogs then noted the sleeping skeleton on Asgore's arms.

"Oh, there he is, safe and sound..." Doggo sighed in relief.

"We are very sorry for taking so long..." Dogamy apologized.

"At least you found him," Dogaressa said.

"It's alright. Still, thank you for everything." Toriel smiled gently.

Greater Dog merely barked and licked Papyrus's face in amusement. The skeleton... chuckled, but then slept through it all. After the dogs talked to them, they left. The monster family was left on their own again as they restarted their previous conversation.

Frisk was still way behind them as they glanced at Papyrus snoring.

They... couldn't take that word off their head.

 _Demon_.

That... that was not a good sign. Not at all.

 

"hey, kid?"

Frisk shook their head as soon as they acknowledged Sans talking to them. The skeleton frowned a little as he saw Frisk alone.

"we're going to asgore's, c'mon." Sans beckoned them and even waited for them.

"R-Right," Frisk nodded, following his command.

The two reached the rest of the group. Sans did give them a glance before talking to Toriel again. Frisk felt... something crawling their spine.

Perhaps it was all their sins.

* * *

Before leaving, they did settle everything with the police officers. They hadn't really found anything that could lead to a stranger breaking into the house. If there had been someone, then they had not left any traces.

Toriel had decided to call people to fix the kitchen in the following day and eventually they would take care of all the damaged furniture. For now, all that mattered was Papyrus's safety and health.

They placed the tall skeleton on the couch and tucked him in with a warm blanket Asgore had. They all stared at Papyrus for some time, as they had all expected that... the worst could have happened to him. The fear was still resonating in their SOULs and no one wanted to leave his side for anything in the world. However, if they were going to talk about Papyrus's situation, they ought to do somewhere else as to not disturb him. Of course, they would still be close to him for whatever he needed.

But Sans decided to stay a little longer with his brother while everyone else went to the kitchen to talk. He knew he needed to join the conversation and try to come with the best solution that could help Papyrus, but to think of leaving him alone again was just... overwhelming - _Sans_ had allowed him to run away in the first place. He hadn't been there for him, he- he had just thought about himself again and didn't even consider any bad possibilities.

Papyrus merely slept as Sans stared at him with guilty and weary eyes. The tall skeleton stopped snoring so loudly and actually slept... rather _peacefully_?

Well, his brother had consumed milk, after all. It was quite helpful to boost one's sleep. Still, Sans couldn't help worrying about the fact that Papyrus had drunk so much milk to the point of... showing similar symptoms to an alcoholic.

If it actually became an addiction, then...

"Sans?"

Toriel arrived at the living room, perhaps to take him out of there. Sans didn't realize there were tears forming on his eyesockets until she arrived.

"oh, hey," He said shyly.

"We... We would need you to talk about Papyrus." She sighed. "I know you don't want to leave him alone, but we really need to stay together so we can help him."

Sans's eyesockets became dark again - in fact, he was sure that his pupils hadn't been quite iluminated all day. Especially since... the light had been away from him for too long, to the point of nearly burning out.

"c-c'mon, can't i stay here for a few more minutes?" Sans asked, really not wishing to leave.

"Sans, he's... asleep. Considering he consumed so much milk, I don't think he will... have much trouble. At least, not for now." Toriel assured. "He needs rest."

"y-yeah, okay," Sans nodded, realizing that she was right.

Toriel looked at him and... seemed like reconsidering.

"Look, you... you can come here after we try to... settle something." She told him.

He sighed deeply, standing next to his brother for some time. Toriel was patient with him, though, so she didn't complain that it took a bit too long. Eventually, though, Sans followed her and they both headed to the kitchen, where everyone else was gathered. Asgore even offered some food, as nobody had actually eaten something.

They all looked extremely exhausted. The worst of all was that they all had to work - or go to school - in the following day, yet Sans doubted that any of them could even take a nap after everything that had happened.

Sans shook his head.  _that doesn't matter now._

As soon as Sans and Toriel joined them, they started talking. They all agreed that Papyrus needed professional help and Alphys and Asgore were the ones that held tighter to that idea, as the latter had suffered from panic attacks related to traumatic experiences. In fact, Asgore even brought the possibility of Papyrus's case being connected to a past trauma, after considering his own. It... was also very possible.

Then, again, _everything_ was possible... and that was the real issue. A qualified doctor would solve that, hopefully.

In the meantime, however, Sans couldn't help noticing that Frisk... didn't look so well.

Well. Nobody did. It had been quite a rough day- but there... was something about Frisk that... couldn't be unnoticed.

From their expression, Sans could... tell that they... _knew_ something.

Perhaps...

... they also had an idea of what was going on.

Strangely enough, Frisk didn't even speak. Not that they were ever... talkative, but Sans had never seen the human so _silent_. Especially since Frisk was actually very close to Papyrus and would definitely be talking to everyone else about the matter. Even Asgore was involved in this, even though he wasn't as close to Papyrus as everyone else were.

But... it was quite the opposite.

Frisk wouldn't say _anything_.

Sans... didn't know what to think of that. He understood that nobody was okay, but... it was so  _unlike_  Frisk.

Though, he didn't want... to pressure them either. Sometimes he forgot they were just a child, even if they had done some amazing things.

Still, he would glance at them every now and then. Frisk suddenly jumped and avoided his gaze.

 _huh, strange,_ He thought.  _wonder what's in their mind..._

Sans instead focused on the actual conversation again and tried not to think much about it. Maybe he could... talk to them about it, if they wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anything, I kinda want to bring something up:
> 
> I've seen evidence where Frisk doesn't actually remember the Genocide Route in a Post-Genocide game because of Chara destroying the world and resetting it, apart from taking their SOUL. Just wanted to tell you that, _in this fic_ , Frisk does remember. After all, Undertale allows us to have many interpretations and theories, right?  
> Just wanted to say this before anyone pointed it out as a mistake because, in my opinion, it... really isn't inaccurate.
> 
> And nope, Sans isn't oblivious here. He can still tell there's something wrong.  
> Let's just say that he doesn't actually hate Frisk and wouldn't immediately consider that they could have done something bad to Papyrus?  
> Because look....... he doesn't remember RESETs.........
> 
> Next chapter might be a little more challenging, though, so I don't think it'll definitely be posted this month. If not December, then most certainly January.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'll update it on January", I said.
> 
> ... SHIT I'M REALLY SORRY AGFHGKFK  
> I actually did start writing the chapter on January but like,, I didn't feel that inspired to continue it for some time and when I finally wanted to write again, school decided to ruin my life!!
> 
> Still, I hope you enjoy this!
> 
> A moment of realization: this fic is.... more than _one year old_......  
>  AND I STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED IT AND THERE'S A LOT TO SEE AGSHSFAHSFHGH
> 
> Disclaimer: I hope there aren't too many writing mistakes here,, I finished writing this at 2:30 AM, just so you have an idea x'D

Dark.

Dark, darker

yet darker.

The darkness kept growing

and the shadows

_cutting **d e e p e r**_

 

 _Human SOULs are capable of persisting after death_ , The narrator of that documentary spoke, in... in a rather distorted way, barely recognizable.

_This happens due to a natural power - the will to keep going, in spite of difficulties_

In the middle of the black void, a red heart faded in with its blinding light.

_This power is called_

**_D E T E R M I N A T I O N_ **

Two other red lights in the shape of pupils flickered in the blink of an eye.

 

_Basically, one of the definitions that explain Determination is ' **the resolve to change fate** '_

_This could refer to the desire of an individual to alter the course of history_

_A super-determined human would be able to either create timelines or end them whenever they wish to,_

_similar to how we 'restart' the game after we lose our 'three lives'_

**_Similar to how we 'restart' the game after we lose our 'three lives'_ **

**_ 'restart' the game _ **

 

 **_THIS IS ALL JUST A GAME_** _, a_ _voice warned._

**_ GAME OVER _ **

*** Don't give up!**

*** _Stay determined..._**

 

_This could most likely change the timespace continuum permanently_

_**timespace continuum** _

The presenter's voice shifted into... into his brother's.

**_our reports showed a massive anomaly in the timespace continuum_**

**_timelines jumping left and right, stopping and starting..._ **

**_until suddenly, everything ends._ **

**_heh heh heh..._ **

Sans's eyesockets were as dark and empty as the black void.

**_ that's your fault isn't it? _ **

 

_A human with the power of changing main events in history could indeed serve good for this world and prevent tragedies from happening_

The sun.

He could see the sun.

Yellow, orange, pink. And green, wide fields ahead.

Everyone was there.

His friends... all smiling, admiring the distant landscape, breathing the fresh air and allowing the sunlight to hit their skins - or bones...

Frisk had freed them all.

It was a miracle.

 

_However..._

It was all dark again. 

**_... it can also bring them to make horrifying acts._ **

 

**_Hahaha..._ **

**_You're not really human, are you?_ **

Flowey popped up in the middle of nowhere, his eyes deep and scary and his mouth forming a wide, unsettling smile.

**_No, you're empty inside._ **

**_ Just like me. _ **

 

_With such great power, they can become abusive and selfish_

_Which leads them to make unforgivable choices_

_unforgivable choices_

**_UNFORGIVABLE CHOICES_ **

 

**_She said you... hurt a lot of people_ **

The Monster Kid was... shaking.

**_But, yo, that's not true, right!?_ **

Silence.

**_... yo..._ **

**_Why won't you answer me?_ **

**_A... A... and what's with that weird expression?_ **

 

 ** _H-Hey, what are you doing!?_** Flowey yelled, s... sweating.

**_B... Back off!!_ **

**_S-S-Stop making that CREEPY FACE!_ **

Laughter.  _Evil_  laughter.

 

**_*In my way._ **

 

**_You really do not get it, do you?_ **

**_You think I have a valid reason for doing all of this?_ **

**_I t ' s  j u s t  b e c a u s e  i t  i s  f u n ._ **

 

_Determination can either bring life and kindness to the world_

**_or absolute destruction and death_ **

 

Screaming.

Crying.

Panic.

Everyone ran to escape.

Never had Snowdin met such desperation in all those years.

**_Where are we going?_ **

**_Why does that human want to kill us?_ **

**_Why are they so cruel?_ **

**_A-Are we going to die?_ **

**_I don't w-want to die, mommy..._ **

 

**_ Please don't hurt my family. _ **

 

**_What if they were just tricking you?_ **

**_What if they suddenly started killing everyone in their way?_ **

**_What would you do?_ **

**_Would you let them slaughter your friends?_ **

**_Would you dare to SPARE THEM and FORGIVE THEM?_ **

_I-I KNOW THERE WOULD BE A BETTER WAY! T-THEY WOULD JUST BE LOST AND CONFUSED, AND-!_

**_Oh, Papyrus... you're such an idiot._ **

**_In this world, it's KILL or BE KILLED._ **

**_There's no MERCY._ **

**_I would be careful with that human, Papyrus._ **

**_ They may not be who they seem to be. _ **

 

 

_unforgivable choices_

_absolute destruction and death_

_unforgivable choices_

_choices_

_c H o I c E s_

 

**_There's no need to fight..._ **

Asgore opened his arms... there was certain tension in his eyes.

**_Why not settle this..._ **

**_... over a nice cup of tea?_ **

One hit.

Asgore was already down.

His hand reached the wound- a massive, horrendous cut.

**_Why... you..._ **

He disappeared.

 

**_I can help..._ **

**_I can..._ **

**_I can..._**

Flowey didn't sound like himself anymore. His voice was similar to a scared child, one Papyrus had never heard in his life.

Even... Flowey's face shifted into...

... the King's son.

 ** _Please don't kill me._** Asriel sobbed.

Flowey- _Asriel_ was cut mercilessly until nothing was left.

 

The golden flowers were all iluminated by the outside, golden light. Their vines curled around Papyrus's boots.

Tears fell on the flowers, watering them with all the pain he had to keep for himself. On his hands was the red trident of the previous king, who had unfortunately had a tragic ending.

Which could have been avoided.

"T-THEY WOULDN'T BE DEAD BECAUSE OF ME..." He sobbed.

Thankfully, Sans wasn't there, being too busy taking care of paperwork.

"I..."

"I-I SHOULD HAVE CAPTURED THEM..."

 _He_ had killed his friends.

 _He_ had killed many, many innocent monsters all over the Underground.

Despite this, everyone was counting on him.

They all looked up to him, still held tight to their hopes, yet... he knew how much his people were suffering. Of... of loss.

Many families had been losing their members to hopelessness.

Papyrus knew it was all his fault. He couldn't... deny it any longer.

"I-IF ONLY I-I HAD... I HAD KILLED THEM, T-THEN..."

"... THEN NO ONE WOULD BE GONE..."

He closed his wet eyesockets.

 

But he opened them as soon as he heard voices.

**_Please_ **

**_Please, help us_ **

**_ Save us _ **

 

Suddenly, Papyrus was no longer in the throne room. He didn't have Asgore's trident, either, and the golden flowers were replaced by snow...

... and dust.

It was hard to tell them apart.

The fellow monsters of Snowdin crawled in his direction. Their bodies, awfully deformed; their eyes, lifeless; their smiles gone; their colors, pale as the powdery snow. Children cried helplessly, begging for help.

The Christmas lights were out. The warmth of Grillby's faded with the cold.

It... it was not Snowdin anymore.

**_P l e a s e_ **

The voices were louder, _indistinguishable_. Slowly, they melted into dust and took part in the meaningless snow that dirtied his feet.

He couldn't run away.

He couldn't save them.

H... He couldn't move.

He could only... stand there and witness it all with horror.

Because he knew he could not do anything.

T... _They_ had gotten there first.

Because of him.

 _It was his fault_.

 

The citizens of Snowdin were gone. All was dark and blurred; if not for the snow and dust on the ground. The eyes of the lost monsters were clear in his mind, too.

Except that something blue formed.

Something blue and red. And white.

**_i knew i could never count on you._ **

His brother stood right ahead. His smile was strained and his eyesockets were hollow and pitch-black, too terrifying to look at. A long, painful wound spread red over his blue jacket and slippers, and his teeth were also red.

No light came from Sans. Not even from his SOUL.

**_you did this._ **

**_you let everyone die._ **

**_you let me die._ **

"N-NO," Papyrus shook his head, only _now_ having the courage to say something.

**_you're a disgrace._ **

Sans slowly faded away. His voice was not his relaxed, lazy one. It was filled with hatred and disappointment.

**_i could never trust you on anything._ **

**_you just care about yourself._ **

"N-NO, THAT'S-" Papyrus cried. "THAT'S  _NOT_  TRUE! I-I COULDN'T-"

**_you couldn't what?_ **

"I C-COULDN'T- I COULDN'T..."

He... didn't know what to say.

His brother was dying right in front of him and Papyrus didn't know what to say.

He couldn't approach him. He couldn't save him.

It was too late.

**_then tell me_ **

**_why?_ **

**_why did you let that beast go?_ **

**_how could you betray us?_ **

**_how could you do this to me?_ **

No more words came from his jaw.

 

He felt a stab right on his SOUL, not knowing whether it was from a blade or his brother's haunting words in such terrifying tone of disgust.

**_i  h a t e  y o u ._ **

 

Snow.

Snow everywhere.

And dust.

They mixed and formed the cold, powdery substance that flew away with the blowing wind.

Along with it, his own.

He then saw only darkness.

 

A yellow light resonated in the black pit.

**_Oh, do not worry, Papyrus..._ **

The light shined brightly, revealing the horrific face of a human child holding a twisted smile.

 

**_ IT'S ALL GOING TO BE _**

**_ R E S E T _ **

 

****

**_999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999_ **

 

 

A loud gasp escaped from him, his eyesockets wide.

His non-existent lungs struggled to find air, to the point of his chest aching. His bones rattled, echoed in the darkness.

He felt... something covering him. Something... warm?

In fact, he was lying on something, too.

Comfortable.

Big.

But another thing was cold and soaked, wetting the back of his skull.

His eyes were flooded with tears and-

He didn't know why.

He was crying.

Why was he crying?

A sound came out of him.

A sob.

Why?

Had something happened?

...

He didn't know.

He... he couldn't remember.

His mind was blank. Blurry.

There was nothing.

No one.

Not a light.

...

Where was he?

What was that place?

Papyrus tried to sit. His movements were slow, his bones, weak and his chest, in pain.

It was like... someone had _stabbed_ him.

As if he could feel the metal slicing his body in one hit.

He couldn't remember anything.

Why did he feel that?

Papyrus looked around, finding nothing. However, he realized there was a slight ilumination coming from... from somewhere else? It was dim, but allowed him to see through the darkness.

His... his bare feet entered in contact with... with a cold surface, yet strangely... soft?

He couldn't breathe well.

Pants escaped his jaw as he tried to stand on his feet. His legs were furiously shaky.

He couldn't make himself stop crying.

Even if nothing had happened.

Right?

He tried to walk, to think, but he simply could not form any sort of logic, of whatever could have happened.

Tears still fell from his eyes.

What was going on?

Where was everyone else?

Why did he have a bad feeling?

His SOUL was filled with... something.

Something bad and awful.

Something dark. And threatening.

And hollow.

...

Until, finally, he-

He could feel eyes on him.

He could feel something- someone looking at him.

Watching him.

With hungry eyes.

Papyrus turned around. He didn't find anything.

Until-

 

Red.

Red lights.

Red pupils.

Red knife.

 

Papyrus let out a desperate gasp, stumbling and hitting against something hard and big- the breaking glass echoed in his head, the sound nearly deafening. Everything spinned furiously and he didn't know what was happening, who was that, what did they want and-

And he could hear children screaming. Crying.

Crying for help.

Pleading.

Begging.

He could see dust.

He could _feel_ the dust filling the air.

His throat was burning. He was trembling terribly.

He didn't know what to do.

Except-

He screamed.

He tried to get away, but-

They were coming.

Their steps, heavy and slow, but echoing.

Their knife, ready to turn him into mere dust, that would be blown away soon enough by the winds of forgetfulness.

"NO," Papyrus shook his head. "NO!"

"STOP!" He pleaded, sobbing painfully. " _PLEASE_!!"

Instead, it all got worse because- they were closer and closer, and closer, and he braced himself for the worst-

Their footsteps were f a s t e r - !

" ** _NO!!!!!!_** "

 

" _papyrus_!"

Papyrus screamed louder than ever before, feeling someone touching him. He shook furiously, still trying to protect himself, but bringing himself to- to look at whoever was there. That voice... it... it wasn't... haunting.

Instead, it was very familiar.

Rather than red, Papyrus saw... blue. And yellow.

Two colors that, together, revealed the left eyesocket of... of a familiar skull.

 

Sans.

It was Sans.

His brother.

He- He was right there. And- and he was- he was alright!

Why wouldn't he be, though?

"S... S-S... SANS?" Papyrus spoke his name, his voice breaking.

Suddenly, a female voice could be heard.

"Papyrus?!"

More footsteps were recognized, much to Papyrus's fear. However, it was unnecessary for as Undyne was the first one to arrive, followed by Alphys, Toriel and Asgore, who all looked very frightened. The fish lady formed a blue, blinding spear in her hands, ready to attack.

"What happened?!" She asked as the light of the spear iluminated him and Sans, and everyone else. "Did someone get in here!?"

"g-goodness, are you okay? a-are you hurt?" Sans's hands touched all of his soaked face, to check for any bruises.

Papyrus remained silent. He only panted, looking at everyone else in helplessness.

"Papyrus, dear, are you alright?" Toriel asked.

The skeleton... merely shook his head. He didn't know what to say.

He... he couldn't understand.

H... He had thought...

They...

Who...

...

He saw something.

Something resonating in the dark.

Something sharp, and powdery-

And red.

Red as d e t e r m i n a t i o n -

Papyrus tried to run away, but Sans was quick to stop him. He struggled to break free, but to no avail.

"papyrus-!" His brother fought to keep him close.

"N-NO, LET ME GO!"

"W-What's wrong?" Undyne asked.

"papyrus, _please_."

Sans grabbed his arms and forced him to look at him. His brother looked... terrible. Utterly exhausted yet tense, and awfully scared. On the other hand, he managed to take breaths, unlike Papyrus.

"w-what's the matter?" Sans asked, his voice suddenly shaky.

Papyrus looked at that same direction. T- They were still there, watching.

And smiling.

His eyes narrowed as he let out a sound of distress, staring at that haunting figure that would not leave him alone.

Sans and the others looked at whatever his eyes were locked in, but... they couldn't find anything.

Anything but...

Frisk.

Papyrus blinked, finally acknowledging the small human, who watched everything from afar. Their eyes were not red, instead brown as they would normally be.

There was no knife.

"WHA- I- I THOUGHT-" He tried to speak.

"Papyrus, please," Toriel spoke, her hands reaching his face after she kneeled down next to Sans. "Please, what's wrong? Did- Did you have a nightmare? O-Or did someone hurt you?"

The skeleton stared at her for the longest time. Finally, when he opened his jaw, he-

He broke.

Papyrus started sobbing again, covering his face in shame. Toriel's hand was placed on his shoulder and, soon enough, he was wrapped into a warm, bear hug. She caressed his tormented skull, despite all the sweat. He clinged to her with all the shallow strength he still had, his bones rattling more than ever.

"I-IT- IT WAS-" He tried to speak, but it all came in sobs, and he wasn't sure what to say anymore.

"Shhh," Toriel hushed him, tightening the hug a little more. "Shhhhhhhh......"

Papyrus hiccuped. He felt another hand on his skull, but instead, it was skeletal- it was clear that it was Sans. His bony hand was also shaking slightly.

He heard footsteps coming from someone and then the sound of a lamp being turned on. Papyrus had his face buried on Toriel's chest, wetting her nice clothes, but not that she minded.

They remained that way for who knew how long. Papyrus was lost, utterly disoriented. He couldn't form any speech without having to sob, so he gave up. Toriel didn't pressure him to talk, and neither did anyone else. He silently thanked them all, for as he couldn't possibly explain what he had seen instead of the human Frisk.

Who had been there?

 _Who_?

Toriel slowly pulled away from him as gentle as possible, as he gradually, and surprisingly, stopped crying loudly. She still kept him close, but now they faced each other. Sans was beside her, his usual grin completely gone. His eyes were awfully sad as well.

Papyrus went to look at the others, but instead found himself in a bigger confusion once he realized where they were.

As the lamp was turned on, a living room was revealed.

... wait.

That wasn't their living room.

"W... W-WHERE AM I?" Papyrus asked.

"You're in my house," Asgore replied, approaching them. "S-Since yours is, well..."

His eyes widened. "O-OH NO, WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR HOME?"

They... they looked concerned. Sans's eyesockets darkened for a moment, reminding Papyrus of the darkness he was once in.

"y... you don't remember?" Sans asked, his voice darker as well.

"W-WHY? WHAT HAPPENED?!" Papyrus repeated. "T-TELL ME, PLEASE!"

"You seriously... do not record anything?" Toriel asked.

The skeleton shook his head. "I-I DON'T UNDERSTAND."

She looked at Sans and Asgore, who glanced at each other.

S... Something did happen.

"T... That's what we would like to know, Papyrus," Toriel sighed deeply. "Earlier today, y... y-you were gone. When I went back home, you were no longer there and... and the kitchen, it... it was damaged."

It... it took him several minutes to...

... to remember.

He- He formed the entire image in his head.

That same demon- a twisted... "Frisk" that tried to turn him down with those horrible words; he saw himself attacking them with all his might, with- with his most secret and special attack, and the hole on the floor and-!

Papyrus felt his SOUL shattering.

"O-OH... OH _NO_..." He muttered. "I-I'M- I'M SO SORRY, I D-DIDN'T- I THOUGHT-!"

"Papyrus," Toriel interrupted before he could go on with the thousands of apologies that demanded to be told. "May... may you just tell us what happened earlier today?"

The skeleton shut his own mouth, lowering his head. It... It was the least he could do- telling them the truth about the kitchen. He- He forced everyone to stay at Asgore's because of his own problems.

They deserved to know.

...

But...

Papyrus looked at Frisk's direction again.

He hesitated.

They wouldn't believe him.

And they had every reason not to.

"... I CAN'T," Papyrus whispered.

" _Papyrus_..." Undyne sighed.

"I-I'M SORRY," He raised his voice a little. "I REALLY DIDN'T MEAN FOR THE KITCHEN TO BE DAMAGED, BUT- BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW... HOW TO SAY ALL OF THIS, IT'S JUST-

"IT'S- I-IT'S NOT _ACTUALLY_ SOMEONE. LIKE- I DON'T KNOW?" He laughed miserably. "I DON'T EVEN **KNOW** WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME, I- I CAN'T TELL WHAT IS REAL ANYMORE BECAUSE IT- IT FEELS LIKE THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE IS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING BUT I DON'T- UNDERSTAND _ANY_ OF THAT!

"I... I-I DON'T GET IT, I- AND IT REALLY FEELS LIKE I'M LOSING MY MIND," Papyrus felt fresh tears forming. "I KEEP SEEING AND HEARING THINGS THAT MAKE A-ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, BUT AT THE SAME TIME I GET REALLY, REALLY SCARED OF EVERYTHING, A-AND- AND NOW I'M BECOMING THIS... THIS _LUNATIC_!"

Papyrus suddenly lost his control; everything he said was completely unplanned. It all came from his SOUL, purely and honestly. While he did omit the deeper facts, he wasn't... lying, either.

His friends were quiet, but attentive. He tried to dry his wet face, but it was no effective, as more tears would roll down his cheekbones.

"Y... Y-YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO HELP ME, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?" Papyrus said. "I'M... I-I'M ON MY OWN."

"You are not," Toriel's hand reached his right cheek. "You definitely aren't."

"I _AM_ -"

"P-Papyrus, look," Alphys finally pronounced. "I u-understand that you have your o-own struggles, but t-that doesn't mean you m-must face them alone in the meantime. W-We may not... know w-what you're going through, b-but we'll always be here for you, to listen, to support you."

"We all have inner battles," Asgore continued. "But in order to try winning them, we... we must have someone else to cover us - to back us up."

Papyrus would have argued against that, but... he didn't have enough forces to protest anymore. He... He didn't know if he could ever bring himself to tell them the truth- the _true_ truth.

"I-In fact, we... w-we've been discussing a way to help you," Alphys revealed. "We... We t-think that m-maybe a specialized doctor would b-be able to ease the process of answering all your q-questions."

Papyrus's eyes widened slightly.

"H-HOLD ON, WHAT?"

"Look, dear, you've been under a lot of stress trying... trying to understand what is going on with you, right?" Toriel asked. "We believe that some professional help would make things better for you."

Papyrus looked at her in... slight disbelief? He- He didn't know how to feel about receiving such news. He truly appreciated them for seeking a way to help him, but- but he didn't know about talking about all that was going on to someone he wouldn't even know so deeply, to just- throw everything in that doctor's face. It would be _way_ too much for them to deal with. Like, "you see, doctor, I have been suspecting that my friend is actually a psycopath that secretly wants to kill us all and I keep having visions of them murdering me"- that would not do any help!

But what else could they do?

He... He knew he couldn't continue with this- and they wouldn't let him. And it was great that they wouldn't, because he was aware it was extremely unhealthy.

Still...

He didn't know what to say.

"... I DON'T... KNOW..." Papyrus said tentatively.

"We don't... want to force you to do something you're not comfortable with," Toriel assured. "But it will help you."

"It truly helped me move on," Asgore confirmed. "I am sure it will do the same good to you."

Well. They... they wouldn't say this if they weren't smart.

Despite... Despite all the lying, Papyrus did trust his friends. He loved all of them - which... which was an unfortunate reason to continue lying to them until then.

...

Papyrus merely nodded, not saying a word. There was... nothing else to be said.

"We promise you," Toriel smiled sadly at him. "We will sort this all out and it's alright if it takes a long time. We will always be here for you, alright?"

He nodded again, closing his eyes while crying quietly.

"W... WHEN AM I STARTING?" Papyrus asked.

"Look, we better define that in the morning," Undyne answered. "It's... It's pretty late in the night."

That... was a fair point. Though he doubted he could even... get back to sleep. Especially as he was still very, very scared, despite the fact that... that he couldn't truly remember what he had seen in his dreams- or worse yet, had he even dreamed? It was strange remembering everything before getting there, but not recording anything from that night.

"You should really get back to sleep, though," Undyne noted. "You haven't gotten any rest these days."

"I DON'T... THINK I CAN DO IT," Papyrus admitted sadly.

"she's right and, well," Sans cleared his non-existent throat. "i could, uh... stay with you, if you that would help you."

He didn't want to admit to being a little surprised with his brother... willing to be alone with him after everything. Papyrus unfortunately still remembered their fight in the other night, as well as what had anticipated the destruction of the kitchen. Despite feeling... nauseated, a great part of his memories were clear.

"T... T-THAT'D BE NICE," Papyrus nodded, though sounding... unsure, for some reason. Sans might have noticed, but he didn't question it.

"You may as well go to my bedroom in order to get proper sleep," Asgore offered.

"WHAT, B-BUT- DON'T YOU HAVE A GUEST ROOM OR-?"

"I do, but I insist! I do anything for my friends," Asgore smiled, while looking tired all at same.

"Y-YOU REALLY DON'T MIND?" Papyrus asked again.

"Of course not! My house is your house."

"W-WELL, THANK YOU, ASGORE."

"You're always welcome," The former king said. "Come on, now, I shall guide you there."

Asgore offered his hand to help Papyrus get up. The tall skeleton's body was still very weak, and only then did he realize that... that he needed to eat. On the other hand, he was... he wasn't feeling all that well to consume any food. Not even water. He... He swore he could feel a strange taste in his jaw.

... oh.

It... might be the milk. He could distinctly remember consuming several bottles, but he didn't remember drinking so much to the point of feeling kind of sick. Maybe if he lied down and tried to relax, it could help a little.

* * *

Going upstairs had... actually been a struggle. Thank goodness there were Sans and Asgore to help him get to the upper floor, or else it would have gotten really ugly.

Asgore's room was big and cozy, much like the rest of the house. There was a king-sized bed to his left, with a desk on the other side. There were a few golden flowers there as well, which... didn't give Papyrus a truly nice feeling, even though he... he did love Flowey; but after everything, Flowey would only remind him of... of horrible things - for as unreal as they were.

"If you need anything, we'll be downstairs," Asgore instructed.

"thanks, fluffybuns," Sans grinned tiredly.

Papyrus merely nodded, as he felt bad for making them all worry so much. He doubted that the others could even get themselves to rest as well; especially as Asgore had pretty much offered his own bedroom. The former king would most definitely not sleep that night.

"I hope you have a good night," Asgore said before leaving.

"G... GOOD NIGHT," Papyrus said, finally.

The goat smiled at him, then closing the door. The skeleton brothers were left on their own, in a room Papyrus had never been in before; though he doubted Sans had ever been there, either.

There was an utterly awkward silence; the last instances the two had spent time together hadn't... ended well. Papyrus was all to blame.

"so, uh, wanna lie down?" Sans asked.

Papyrus was slightly distracted, so he ended up blinking a few times before nodding.

"Y-YEAH, SURE," He said quietly.

The tall skeleton finally lied on the king-sized bed, his eyes widening slightly at how... how amazingly _comfortable_ it was. He didn't know whether it was due to the fact that he  was absolutely drained, but still- not even his bed could be compared to this!

He heard a small chuckle coming from his brother, who might have noticed Papyrus's reaction. The younger skeleton felt slightly embarrassed.

"comfy, right?" Sans asked, smirking.

Papyrus would have rolled his eyes if he had any. As no more words came from either brother, Sans finally joined the other- after he tucked Papyrus in. He always insisted on doing that... not that the tall skeleton would complain, anyway.

The two finally faced each other, with them both lying down after such... _horrible_ day. They were both very quiet, they could even hear the crickets outside. The others barely made any noises, as Papyrus couldn't hear anything coming from downstairs.

Papyrus couldn't close his eyes, no matter how much he desired. He couldn't stop staring at his brother, with all his guilt crawling his spine. Meanwhile, Sans let out a deep breath, as he nearly closed his own eyesockets. His older brother must be awfully tired.

"I'M SORRY," Papyrus muttered, almost wishing Sans wouldn't hear, but that was not the case.

"huh?"

"I-I'M- I'M REALLY SORRY, SANS," He repeated. "I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU, BUT I DID AND- AND I'M FEELING REALLY BAD NOW."

Sans sighed deeply, remaining quiet as Papyrus started crying quietly again. The latter didn't expect the former to ever forgive him, so he didn't wait for an answer right away- or at all.

However, he felt a hand holding his own, squeezing it.

"what matters is that... you're safe now," Sans replied quietly. "i... i was really scared, papyrus, i thought i'd lost you..."

Papyrus looked away. "I-I KNOW, I DIDN'T WANT TO SCARE YOU."

"yeah, but... pap," Sans moved closer. "it's... it's really not your fault, i shouldn't- i shouldn't have left home in the first place. you needed me and i- i just left."

"BUT SANS, Y-YOU HAD EVERY REASON TO! I COULD HAVE-!"

"it doesn't matter," Sans interrupted. "you needed support. you needed someone to look out for you, but i just- i did what i've been doing to you in the past years and- _i'm_ the one who should be apologizing."

"SANS, NO-"

"sans, _yes_ ," Sans might have tried to let out a laugh, but it sounded like something else. "papyrus, you were right, okay? i didn't want to admit it at first, but- but i've really been a bad brother. i- i only cared about myself and i never thought of you going through any problems because i always- i always thought everything was okay, when it really wasn't.

"like- i should've noticed," Sans sighed again. "or maybe i did, but i didn't want to accept it because i was too ignorant, too caught up in myself... and- god, i truly am sorry for all this crap i've done to you, you don't deserve a brother like me."

"SANS... SANS, NO, Y-YOU COULD NEVER BE A HORRIBLE BROTHER. YOU... YOU MAY HAVE FLAWS, BUT WE ALL DO. AND- AND I DON'T REGRET HAVING YOU AS A BROTHER. I COULD NEVER FEEL SUCH THING."

"yeah?"

Papyrus nodded without hesitation. The worst thing he could have done was to make Sans feel worthless- Sans was his big brother, the one who had always seen potential, who had supported him and his puzzles, and his dreams- perhaps not in the most correct way, but...

But Sans loved him. Papyrus... Papyrus couldn't believe he would _doubt_ that at times.

He still couldn't believe he had said all those horrible things to Sans.

"I SHOULDN'T... HAVE SAID THOSE THINGS TO YOU," Papyrus sighed. "NOR... NOR SHOULD I HAVE ATTACKED YOU. IT WAS HORRIBLY WRONG OF ME. I KNOW YOU WANTED TO HELP AND I DIDN'T WANT TO LET ANYONE HELP ME.

"I... I DO ADMIRE YOU, DESPITE YOUR LAZINESS." He continued. "I'M REALLY SORRY FOR DISRESPECTING YOU."

"yeah, it's... it's okay," Sans smiled sadly. "i'm sorry, too. y... you can count on me from now on, ok?"

Papyrus nodded. "I'D SAY THE SAME FOR YOU AS WELL."

His older brother sighed yet again, though that was to be expected after everything. They both looked at each other without saying any more words. Sans was actually smiling then, but it eventually faded into the dark, as the only light iluminating them was his own white pupils.

"papyrus," Sans began. "y... you really can't tell me anything about... about all everything that's been going on with you?"

Papyrus admitted to not being all that surprised, but touching on that topic was simply... too tense.

"seriously, you can tell me," Sans assured. "i might not tell everyone else if you don't want to, but i just- i just want to understand, y'know? at least... i want to try to understand."

The younger skeleton looked away.

"I DON'T THINK YOU CAN," He mumbled.

"come on, pap, i'm your bro. you can rely on me with literally anything."

Papyrus's gaze returned to his brother eventually. Sans tried to smile again, but to no avail. The former sighed for the thousand time that day.

"IT'S... IT'S NOT EASY TO EXPLAIN, AT ALL," Papyrus admitted. "I FEEL LIKE I'M REALLY INSANE."

"what exactly are the things you've been seeing?" Sans asked. "like... asgore told us you said you'd fought a demon in our kitchen."

"OH-? OH..." The skeleton cleared his "throat".

"what or- or who is that demon?"

Papyrus was... truly dumbfounded at the question.

Because the more he thought about it, the more confusing it was.

Even though it was some sort of twisted Frisk that haunted him, he- he knew it wasn't the Frisk he knew. His real friend was compassionate, merciful, kind... an amazing child. But the demon... as much as they resembled Frisk in appearence, their actions and personality said otherwise.

But everytime Papyrus looked at Frisk, he would see the impostor and not the real one. He would be terribly scared then.

Thus, there... there was only one answer.

"I... I DON'T KNOW."

He... He wasn't even lying this time.

Sans didn't seem unconvinced, for that matter.

"like... seriously?" He asked.

"IT'S TRUE," Papyrus nodded miserably. "LIKE... THAT D-DEMON KEEPS HAUNTING ME IN SOME WAY, BUT- BUT PART OF ME KNOWS IT'S NOT REAL, YET- YET I GET SO SCARED!

"I-I'M ALWAYS SCARED," He then began talking without thinking twice at all. "I-I'M ALWAYS AFRAID THAT... THAT WHOEVER IS SHOWING UP TO ME, SAYING- AND DOING HORRIBLE THINGS TO ME IS GOING TO HURT YOU- I-I GET REALLY SCARED AND I R-REALLY DON'T WANT THAT HAPPENING TO YOU BECAUSE OF _ME_!

"T-THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO BE STRONG, YOU KNOW?" Papyrus said. "I D-DON'T WANT TO PUT YOU IN DANGER."

Sans seemed surprised at all the information he had just received, but was attentive all the time Papyrus spoke.

"A-AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT," The tall skeleton continued. "D-DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT A DOCTOR IS GOING TO HELP ME? LIKE, FOR REAL?"

His big brother took some time to process it all, not that the other could blame him. It was all perplexing to hear indeed...

"look," Sans took another deep breath. "first, i think it's totally fine if you're scared. you don't have to be brave all the time and- and seriously, i get that... that this demon must be rattling you a _whole_ lot, but look- you must fight against it by... by just- believing yourself, like, without actually hurting yourself, because that doesn't necessarily mean it's brave.

"you can always rely on others, y'know? no one can face something like this on their own, but you still gotta believe that you can do it. you can deal with this demon, because it's not gonna harm any of us. and even if it tries, then i can assure you that we'll all kick its ass within the blink of an eye." Sans grinned, showing certain confidence, but it soon... faded away. He closed his eyes for a moment and let out a chuckle.

"heh... look _who's_ talking," Sans said, interrupting his own speech.

"look, i'm gonna be honest," His older brother showed... a tone filled with guilt, yet in a genuine, heartfelt way. "there... there are many things that i haven't told you- or anyone else, to be fair. things that i don't expect anyone to understand, either - because... because nobody can understand. i... i honestly don't blame you for feeling this way, because it... it might be kinda true, you know?

"but seriously, this doesn't mean that you should... you should distance yourself completely. and yeah, i do see that i've made a huge mistake doing that in the past. i'm... i'm really sorry for realizing that just now. but i'm speaking from experience.

"it's... it's okay if you don't tell me absolutely everything- i understand. it's just... just don't suffer in silence, okay? if it's really coming as an issue, like- to the point of causing nightmares, making you feel so... so lonely and scared, and- and making you... attack things on sight, then don't hide it, okay? i can tell that it's been messing you pretty badly."

Papyrus couldn't deny that... that he was shocked at all of this. Sans had never been so... so _open_ before. He would barely talk about his own feelings, though... though it gave him yet another mysterious layer beneath his older brother.

In a way, Sans did understand his struggle and... and he learned from it. He learned that it was wrong omitting it from people.

He'd sure come a long way... a long way that Papyrus had never... quite considered all this time. While Sans should have been more honest, he admitted to being slightly guilty for never quite... insisting on talking to his brother about it.

They had both made their mistakes, honestly.

"as for the doctor, i really think it helps," Sans resumed. "but, in all honesty... in the end, it's up to you. like i said, you gotta truly believe in yourself- you have to go easy on yourself, to assure that it's alright to be afraid and that it's okay to need help. because no one can instantly solve their problems without some guidance, right?

"just... just think about that, ok?"

Papyrus nodded slowly, thoughtful.

Everything his friends said were all right - Alphys's own experience and words, Asgore's... but Sans's, probably as he was his brother, hit... closer to home. Of course, he wouldn't invalidate the others' statements - but the fact that Sans, someone he'd known his entire life, was opening up to him about his deepest feelings and the surface of his secrets, it... it was groundbreaking. Astonishing.

Somehow... inspiring, too.

Despite all their differences, Papyrus and Sans had that in common. Many of his friends, too.

The tall skeleton didn't quite have words after this. All he did was nod and give him a look of admiration. Sans had grown so much. He... hoped he could himself, too.

The two were in silence again, the crickets heard again. Papyrus had absolutely no idea what time it was, as the curtain wouldn't give out any clues. There wasn't a clock in the room - unless if it was one of those that didn't make noises. Well, perhaps that wasn't the case at the time. It... didn't truly matter, did it?

Papyrus kept replaying Sans's words in his mind. In the meantime, his older brother shifted a little, so he could face the ceiling. Sans seemed to be close to falling asleep, while, surprisingly, Papyrus couldn't close his eyes.

After some time, he heard a sigh from Sans.

"well," His brother yawned. "we better get some sleep."

Papyrus looked at him, disappointed in himself.

"I... CAN'T QUITE CLOSE MY EYES," He said, miserably. "I'M TOO SCARED TO SLEEP NOW."

Sans nodded. "i see..."

Papyrus remained silent again, not doing anything, just... staring at nowhere. Soon enough, his brother snuggled against him, wrapping his arms around the other's body. Sans didn't say anything for the first few minutes, until...

... he started humming something.

"SANS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Papyrus asked.

"i'm trying to sing a little song," Sans replied, still trying to hum... a melody?

"WAIT, SINCE _WHEN_ DO YOU SING?"

"am i _that_ mysterious? seriously?"

"YOU NEVER MAKE ANY **_SANS_**."

It didn't fail to make Sans laugh.

"holy asgore," He snorted.

"SERIOUSLY," Papyrus resumed the other topic. "HOW COME I'VE NEVER HEARD YOU SING?"

"yeah, well... i wouldn't do it very often," Sans replied. "like... maybe when i was really young. i would sing something to you when you were that little frenetic babybones."

"OH? IS THAT SO?"

Sans nodded. "but you were _very_ little, so you probably don't remember."

"I SEE... WELL, WHAT IS THE SONG YOU WOULD SING TO ME?"

"the thing is, i don't really remember. that's why i'm trying to hum something here so maybe i can figure out the melody or anything."

"OH, OKAY."

Sans still tried, but gave up in the end.

"welp, it was worth a try, but i'm afraid my memory doesn't serve me right tonight," He sighed.

"IT'S ALRIGHT," Papyrus couldn't help smiling.

Though, as he realized, he looked at the bookshelf near the king-sized bed.

"DOESN'T... ASGORE HAVE ANY BEDTIME STORIES?" He asked.

Sans looked at it as well.

"oh, i haven't thought of that," He admitted. "he might have something because of his children, right?

"i'll go check, i'll just turn the lamp on here..."

Sans stood up and turned the soft light on, thus searching for the books. Papyrus waited quietly, watching him. He would mutter the book names to himself, but the other wouldn't really make it to what he was saying.

Until, finally, Sans let out a sound of amusement.

"would you look at that!" He exclaimed proudly. "he has the greatest, most sacred classic of all."

Papyrus looked at what he had in hands: Peek-a-boo With Fluffy Bunny.

"OH MY GOD?" He let out.

"heh, his kids had great taste. just like we do! i'm sure you would've been great friends, haha."

Papyrus's smile... faltered a little at the comment. Asgore's children would've been lovely friends indeed, but... their past... and what had happened to Asriel... those weren't good things to be considered at the moment.

Quickly, though, his smile returned to his face before Sans could really notice.

"NOW COME ON, I WANNA HEAR IT!" Papyrus beckoned, feeling much better than ever before.

His older brother grinned and lied beside him. Papyrus got comfortable, looking at Sans with the same amusement he had in his eyes as a babybones. Finally, his imagination was met with the good old Fluff Bunny and his animal friends.

* * *

He surely was not going to sleep that night.

Neither him or Toriel, for that matter. Alphys fortunately got Undyne to take some rest in the guest room - which was fine since Papyrus and Sans were pratically in a room right next to it, so she would feel better staying close to Papyrus. Frisk ended up sleeping on the couch, anyway, since they... weren't quite comfortable going with neither the skeleton brothers or the female couple.

Toriel had Frisk on their lap as she tucked them both in. Asgore sat on his single armchair, drinking some golden flower tea. He was sure it wouldn't really help him get some sleep after everything that had shocked them that evening, but it was still relaxing him a bit.

He felt somewhat weird staying with Toriel and Frisk only, but he wouldn't complain. She didn't feel uncomfortable, either, so neither really commented on that. Especially as Frisk was the focus at that exact moment, for as the child should've been getting proper sleep, too.

While Asgore silently drank his good old tea, his eyes couldn't help focusing on... on Frisk themself.

Frisk was... acting quite strange that day. Though, due to the most recent events, he couldn't blame them.

However...

Asgore hoped he was only making assumptions- but...

When Papyrus had panicked there, at the living room, he- he wouldn't stop looking at _Frisk's_ direction.

His eyes had been filled with fear and panic. When they had asked him questions, he....

He had hesitated as he would look at Frisk.

And Frisk was... too silent lately. Toriel had briefly commented that as soon as Frisk fell asleep, but she didn't seem to have further suspicion.

...

There was a certain feeling in his gut that he truly didn't want to believe on.

In the meantime, Papyrus's words wouldn't stop replaying in his mind.

 

**_I-IT FEELS LIKE REALITY IS... TRYING TO WARN ME ABOUT SOMETHING..._ **

**_S-SOMETHING ABOUT... SOMEONE IN... PARTICULAR, A-AND..._ **

**_I... I H-HAVE THIS EERIE FEELING THAT... THAT SOMEONE I KNOW IS NOT... WHO THEY SEEM, AND THAT... T-THEY KEEP A DARK, _NASTY_  SECRET FROM ME..._ **

**_F-FROM EVERYONE..._ **

 

...

No, that... that couldn't be it, could it?

Asgore was probably just... really shocked with all the information and anxiety he had gone through. He... He did need some rest. He'd better just take a nap, even if only for a few hours.

Maybe it was just his exhaustion telling him things. Frisk had nothing to do with this, why on earth would he ever think that?

They didn't have anything to do with it. Not at all.

...

... right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be the longest chapter I've EVER written. Though this might get worse in the next chapters lol
> 
> I really hope the nightmare sequence was, um, done well. I tried to write it in a different way and I did look up some references so yeah... I also hope that it wasn't _too_ long, I know nightmares are supposed to be brief and all that, but yeah :'v
> 
> Idk if it's weird for Papyrus to not be like... drunk on milk anymore, but considering he did sleep a few hours then yeah... I don't know how drunk people work, lmao (though it's milk in this case, so idk if it's different here)
> 
> I hope the transitions were fine too?? And that this wasn't rushed either??? jeez, I'm sorry for being so anxious when it comes to my skills, It's just that I've been working really hard on this fic and I want to know if people genuinely enjoy it ;o;
> 
> Once again, I apologize for the unexpected hiatuses... unfortunately these might get worse because school is even more painful this year ;-; So _please_ don't rush me.
> 
> Besides this, I want to thank you all for the support! I'll try my best to finish this fic this year! :)


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